


Transparent Woes

by MorganMacCallum



Category: Diabolik Lovers
Genre: F/M, yui is kind of an OC here it's wild
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2020-06-23 15:40:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 75,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19704397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganMacCallum/pseuds/MorganMacCallum
Summary: When death brings his cold dead hand it's only natural to assume that is the end, but in this case somebody wakes up in the body of a baby realising far too young that they are trapped in the world of horror that is Diabolik Lovers. As they plan how to survive, they have to deal with the consequences of their own existence where they should not be.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoy reading this chapter. Hopefully it's not too rushed!

CHAPTER ONE

It was a strange thing, coming into existence. Where all that you were, and ever had known, was inky blackness and the drumming of another person’s heartbeat along with your own. The sensation of breathing in liquid which was soon snatched from you as you were ripped into a cold, wet environment, the rain pouring down on you.

I still recall my life before this one, so it was deeply unsettling becoming aware of the fact that I was a newly born baby and the woman staring down at me was my new mother. It was strange to see her with her wine-coloured eyes and long blonde hair, struggling to breathe. It was bizarre to see the wooden ceiling above, the rain pouring from a hole in the roof, and strange still to see the horror appear on her face as there was a clatter and a crash. It was sickening to hear her scream and try to fight back against the people that pulled me away from her.

Dread had settled in when I saw the face of the man who’s hands I was in.

He was a beautiful man, there was no lying about that, but I saw nothing in his cold yellow eyes but the wickedness of his very nature. I wondered, in the look in his face, if he knew that I was aware. That I could see my fate and that my single scream was for him. That the hatred shone strong in my eyes and that he could see that I would remember him.

Then he passed me to another man and I could see in his hand Cordelia’s beating heart. I fought as best as a newly born baby could. I squirmed and screamed and howled but my heart was torn out and in its place was Cordelia’s.

And with it came her voice.

I could hear her confusion. I could hear her uncertainty as she tried to understand where she was, and I heard her pain.

Then I saw the face of another man.

“I shall call you Yui, and you will be my daughter.”

The journey was quiet except for Cordelia’s insistent questioning.

‘Where am I? What’s happening?’

‘Try not to panic. You were killed and now you are my heart.’ She panicked more, and I did not blame her. ‘Please, we both need to stay calm if we’re to survive. Karl has a terrible plan in store for us.’

I grew up a quiet kid, all things considered. I did not cry often, and I learned far faster than the average child. The first two years were spent mostly with Seiji who had adopted me. I found it difficult to love him knowing that he had willingly taken part in the experiment that had involved my heart being taken from me, and that he would be involved in sending me back to the Sakamaki household. And knowing that, depending on the situation, he would try to kill me.

Of course, there was no way he could understand this conflict, so he did not understand why I was a cold child that did not actively seek affection from him. I would not cringe away from it, I simply did not give it out myself.

I think he was glad to see me enter kindergarten with children my own age. In my past life I used to help my mother with childminding and had volunteered when I was fifteen to help in a nursery, so I knew the general rules of how it went.

‘This is all pointless, we need to figure out how to escape.’ Cordelia would remark in my mind as I drew silently in the corner. I would not interact with the other children unless they came to me, which was not often.

‘I’m being patient.’

‘Too patient. We only have fourteen years to escape.’

“What you drawing?”

“A friend.” I would say, not looking at the child that had spoken. I would never keep the drawings because they were too talented for the average three-year-old child, but that did not mean I did not enjoy it. The child, Sakura I believe her name was, stared in wonder.

“Really good!” I stared at the picture for a moment. As I was speaking to her, I felt inclined to draw Cordelia myself. Her green eyes stared back at me with cunning sharpness.

‘You should keep this one.’

‘I won’t, Seiji would get too suspicious.’

“It’s okay.” I responded.

Sakura often hung around me as she was incredibly shy and did not do well with the other children. They pulled at her pigtails and changed her name slightly so that it was an insult. She would usually just draw with me, but sometimes I would pick out a book and read with her. My reading skills were well above that of an average child, so sometimes I would sneak in another book and read another story to her. She would always listen very closely.

I must have caught the teacher’s eye at some point as this was mentioned to Seiji.

“I heard you were reading to the other children today.”

“Just Sakura.” I said, not looking at him as we walked home.

“You were reading some pretty difficult things to her.”

“Not that hard. The hard part is explaining what the words mean to her.” I knew I was speaking too intelligently for a three-year-old. It would have been wiser to play the fool.

I was put through a number of tests. I recognised an I.Q. test as I had put myself through one when I was in my late teens in the past life. I knew it would do no good to play the fool here, because Seiji would know that I was deceiving in some manner.

I was a certified genius.

Elementary school started easily for me as the basics were far too easy for me to take hold of. I wrote like someone well above my age and finished class work early. I knew the Japanese education system did not bump you up a few grades when you did well, so often I spent class doing other things.

I was an outstanding student who always got one hundred, and thus I was often allowed into the library to do what research I needed done. Of course, because it was an elementary school it was not often that I found what I was looking for and I had to be careful on the computers as I knew I was being monitored.

I did not know at what age Karl would take to observing me, or if Seiji was doing all that work for him, so I had to work quietly and with a great deal of cunning. I feared that due to my increased intelligence I was already suspicious to him, so I saved up my money and plotted in secret.

As I grew older, I was allowed more freedom. When I was seven I was considered close friends with Sakura and we often hung out. Thinking on the children I used to take care of as a part of Girl Scouts, I thought that it was only natural I bonded with her better when she was seven than when she was three.

“What you are reading all those for, Yui?” More often than not, she would come to me rather than I go to her. She had a few more friends now and played with them more than me, but I did not mind it. What did frustrate me was their unpleasant words. Quiet, rude, and spoilt were used often but I ignored them. If they got physical I would take care of it quickly, however. I had been scolded by Seiji for it a few times regardless of how I explained the situation.

It had never been a problem in my past life because I was taller than average and often intimidating despite my quiet demeanour, but as Yui I was small and looked like an angel. People thought I was easier to bully, and I could not deny that there was a certain truth in that.

“I need to know the travel routes across Japan.” I had explained simply as the chair was dragged across the carpet, the metal legs pulling slightly at the vaguely blue floor. The chair creaked under her weight. Much like me, her legs were actually too small to touch the ground and hung limply in the air, swaying slightly.

“What for?”

“I want to travel the world when I’m older.” It was not a lie, although not for the reasons she thought.

“I always wanted to go to America.”

“They have lots of guns in America, but I heard it’s beautiful.” I had never been to America in the past, but my sister had a wedding in New York and my mother had travelled to Canada. It was something I had always been tempted to do, but never had the courage to do for the simple fact that America was more dangerous than my home country for more reasons than I dare to list.

“Where would you go?” I thought for a moment, swinging one of my legs loosely.

“I’d go to Romania.”

“Where’s that?”

“It’s where vampires come from.” It was a funny thing that I was so tempted to go to the land of the vampires in a world where I was trying to avoid the most dangerous vampires of them all.

‘You’re just a walking ball of contradictions, aren’t you?’

‘Shush.’

Once I had learned where the main library was in town, I spent more and more of my time there. Seiji joined me sometimes, but more often left me to my own devices. I could be found on the computer more often than not.

I was trying to gather as much information as I could that would allow me to escape. I knew that, being a child, I would not be able to escape Japan on my own. At least not through legal means. Still, I thought it good to document everything I could to help keep me away from the vampires.

Karl Heinz would have connections everywhere, and more often than not I feared that he would be monitoring the computers and the books that I checked out. I had to smuggle a few books away on my own and other times would make as many notes as I could that would help me to get by. I would always hide the notebooks between the slates of my bed.

When I was ten-years-old my opportunity came. While Seiji was away a babysitter tended to me. I went to make her a cup of tea and slipping sleeping pills into the drink. I waited for her to sleep and took my bag and escaped the house.

I took the bus all the way to the station and used the bathrooms to cut and dye my hair. Since my hair was already so pale on its own I did not need to bleach it. A brunette boy stared back at me. I scrubbed the sink clean and changed into a boy’s clothing, stuffing my old clothes into my backpack as I adjusted my false glasses. Certain that I did not look like Yui anymore, I escaped the disabled bathroom.

I knew where the security room was and when the security man left for his toilet break, locking the door behind him. I did not necessarily know how to remove the footage easily, so I simply removed the CD from the console and put it in the bag before pulling the plug on the monitors, slipping out of the room as the man came back in.

I could hear him cursing as I walked past, knowing that it would give me enough time to take the bus I was aiming for. I could see the bus driver raise his brow as I told him my destination, but he made no comment.

I kept my hat down and kept faced away from the bus CCTV footage. I dared not sleep the entire journey no matter how long the distance was. Each stop I feared that a hunter would climb on and pull me back, but no such thing happened. Regardless, I remained suspicious as I knew Karl to be a shapeshifter and he could be anyone.

‘We’re almost there.’ My mind stopped its wanderings as Cordelia spoke.

I did not know much about Fukuoka regardless of my research, but I did know that a ferry would take me from Fukouka to Busan if I could get on without being caught, which I did. Being as small as I was as a part of a large group of people crowding onto the ferry, I had to stay in the centre of the group to remain unseen and as tickets were being marked by two men at the front of the ferry I pushed through and escaped onto the open part of the ferry and found myself a chair to sleep on.

‘They’ll be declaring you missing by now.’

‘They won’t have thought that I’d have gotten this far.’ I responded, staring dully at the screen in front of me. It reminded me of the many ferry journeys I had taken during my university years.

‘Karl might suspect.’

‘I suppose he will.’

‘What will we do if he captures us.’

‘We’ll let him think that he’s won.’

‘What?’ If this escape plan did not work, I would simply have to adapt to my more unpleasant situation. Still, I wanted to say with confidence that I had given it my best shot, so I pulled the cap over my eyes and let myself sleep for the journey.

When I got to Korea I wasted little time travelling to my next destination. I needed to get to China next and then I would improvise from there. The end goal was Scotland, which was an environment I was very familiar with, but I would travel for a very long time before I got there.

Most of the journey was by foot, I shall not lie. If it was not by foot, then it was by lorry or bus. My hair started to grow out and I would hack at it roughly until I looked like a boy once again. I got most of my food from the wilds but when I could I would sneak food from cafes. I spoke English usually.

By the time I was seventeen I had made it to Scotland and was living in a forested area in the East. I knew this area the most. It was not a pleasant life, but it was not an unpleasant one either. I stole clothes from washing lines and made myself a den in the woods. I took food from people’s kitchens when they had their backs turned and ate deer and wild berries. I boiled my water and kept out of sight.

At eighteen, I could see priests in the village near where I had been staying recently. I instantly suspected they were after me and slipped away. I took the bus out of the village aiming to reach the nearest city. There I could take a bus all the way across the country. If I could, I would delay my capture as long as I could.

‘Do you think they’ve been looking for us this entire time or they’ve long just started?’ I could hear Cordelia ask, and I did not have an answer for her. ‘We’re going to be trapped, aren’t we?’

‘I don’t think we were ever going to be able to run for the rest of our lives.’ I thought as I climbed onto the next bus.

Inverness was a beautiful place, I will not lie about that. Although the town itself was not beautiful, its surroundings were. I walked out of the city. I knew where I would go. If I was to be captured, I at least wanted to see Culloden, although I knew it to be a strange thing to give up after seven years on the run waiting for them to capture me.

‘You have a plan, don’t you?’ I could hear the uncertainty in her voice, although she knew that I always had a plan. Even if I were to be captured, I would never truly be captured. There was always a survival plan in mind.

‘Of course.’ I enjoyed the tour, I went into the black house, and I stood upon the moor that was the site of the massacre. I stood for some time before the memorial when I felt them behind me. It was a strange thing being able to feel eyes upon you, but I felt them regardless.

‘Are you going to share your plan?’

‘I can tell you that it includes Karl’s death.’

‘A bold statement.’ I shrugged, lifting my head to the monument.

“Are you going to stand behind me all day?” I did not turn around to face them, although I could hear them come closer. I thought that perhaps they thought I would put up a fight, but I knew I could not beat them here. If escaping this far had not kept them at bay, then I knew for a fact that running away here would not help me. Kicking and screaming would only get me into deeper trouble.

“Are you going to fight?”

“I lost when you captured me.” I said simply, finally turning.

They were both young, perhaps in their early twenties with young faces and fresh eyes. I went quietly and said not a word to them as I got into their car.

“So how long have you been after me?” I said as I watched the scenery pass by.

“Ever since you escaped.” I let out a low whistle. I thought the search would have begun when I turned seventeen, but it seemed I was wrong. I dared to be impressed with myself. If only I had been able to delay it longer. Perhaps the boys would be uninterested in me if I had been an old lady.

‘Well perhaps not Laito.’ I ignored whatever comment Cordelia was going to come up with as we arrived at the airport. I would be taken straight to Tokyo.

“Wasting no time, huh?”

“We have wasted too long as it is.” One of them remarked as we went through the terminal. The flight still would not arrive for another two hours.

“Can I at least have a coffee? Come on, I’ve been good.” I was allowed to go with one of them. I remained pleasant as we waited, enjoying my coffee and reading a book I had bought from one of the shops. There was a slight smile when they saw the cover and saw that it was about serial killers.

“Didn’t think a girl your age would be into that sort of thing.”

“Preparing for my future.” I responded, barely registering the frown on his face.

I slept most of the journey, never being a particular fan of planes and especially long journeys on planes. My ears would always burst, and I would have nothing to do throughout the journey, with the movie choices being pathetic at best.

“You’re being so calm about this.” One of them finally said when I had gotten into the car without complaint.

“I know that once I’m captured I can’t fight back.” I responded calmly. “Even if I were to kill the two of you, another two would just show up in your place. And if I drew too much attention to myself, the big man upstairs might personally make himself known, and I know for a fact I can’t fight him.”

Not yet, at least, but I was patient and could wait. It was his fate to die in the near future.

“Still…” He made no further comment, but I could see the frustration in his eyes.

“The best I can do is wait and take my next opportunity.”

I knew the noose was tightening around my throat when the forest started to grow dense, and the road twisted. When I glanced out the window I could see the sandy exterior of the mansion. Although I had been calm before, I could feel the dread settling in my stomach then. I rested my hand on my stomach, trying to ease it, and knew for certain that if there were vampires in the space they would hear my heart beating furiously. As though it were trying to claw its way to freedom.

‘I don’t want to die again.’ I could hear Cordelia say and I had to agree with her. I did not remember how I died, but I knew I did not want to experience it. It was embarrassing to admit, but I was also not a particular fan of needles and the concept of fangs purposefully painfully piercing my skin made my skin crawl. It made me nauseous simply thinking about it. ‘I will numb the pain for you.’

‘Thank you.’ It was probably the nicest thing she could ever do for me. Although I was strong against most pain, there was just something about needle-like objects that filled me with terror. That would undoubtedly be used against me as a weapon.

‘Just remember: don’t let them know.’

‘That’ll be difficult seeing as they can read heartbeat and breathing levels and get horny at dilated pupils.’

‘We’ll get through this.’ I sincerely hoped we would. Every second leading up to the execution was leading me into more and more fear.

When the car stopped outside the gates I went quietly. I did not say goodbye, but the men stood out with me regardless. I did not expect them to come with me, but it seemed as though they feared I would make one last attempt to escape. I did not.

The walk towards the mansion was a silent one. I could hear the tolling of the bell in my mind as the great building came closer and closer. I paused for a single moment to observe the motif above the front entrance. The design had faded over time, nothing more than lumps against the great grey slab. I walked around the fountain, acknowledging the gargoyle at the top as a warning of what lurked inside.

Although they were taking me to death’s door, I could not help but feel comfortable in the fact that, perhaps for the last time, I was surrounded by humans that understood the same fear that I did. I was the one to knock on the front door, remaining still as it was pulled open.

A man I did not recognise was there. A servant, without a doubt. I bowed to him, knowing that he would not help me in my time of need.

“The master is waiting for you.”

‘So, Karl Heinz himself is here.’

‘Probably to rub his victory in our faces.’ I could hear Cordelia remark as I stepped through the doors, glancing back one last time to see the looks of regret on the two men’s faces as the doors shut. It was a shame; I did not even get their names.

I was always told I was a quiet walker in the past life and it was no different in this one. I purposefully walked on the outsides of my feet to make as little noise as possible as I observed the area around me.

‘Not much has changed.’ Cordelia said as we walked up the stairs and made our way through the corridors. It was a cold house, both in the metaphorical and the literal sense. It was like a smile with too many teeth; it was simply unpleasant to be in. ‘I would have preferred more decorations.’

‘In my old house my mother had a display of family pictures amongst a leaf motif.’ I thought as we reached our destination.

The wooden doors opened up to a large area that I could only describe as a living room, and for a brief moment I wondered if there were multiple living rooms in the mansion. Then I saw that not only was Karl Heinz there, but as were all the brothers.

‘He’s really going to do this now in front of everyone.’

“If I knew there was going to be an audience I would have dressed up.” It was a lie, of course, I only had the clothes on my back. I could feel the critical gaze of Reiji as he observed my baggy rolled up jeans and grey hoodie. I did not shuffle my feet no matter how tempted I was.

“I must admit, I am rather impressed that you were able to evade capture as long as you had. Normally, I would not put so much effort into a prospective bride, but you can understand why you are a special case.” I had never heard his voice before.

It was a strange voice, I quickly concluded upon hearing it. Although it was low, it was sweet. Like a gentle lullaby, although I would never wish to be sung to sleep by such a man. I had no desire to be near him and remained still as he uncrossed his leg and rose from his chair.

I observed how strangely long his hair was and almost felt jealous of how long it was. In my past I had always wanted long hair, but my hair was bratty and did as it pleased, never behaving itself. And in this life my hair had been as short as a boy for the longest time, only growing now that I had lived in the wilds for as long as I did, although it was only a bob for now. I frowned slightly as a gloved hand gently tugged at my chin, lifting it up so I could look into his eyes.

Those same cold yellow eyes observed me with a keen interest. I let nothing show in mine although I knew he could tear out my beating female heart at any given moment and certainly would. I dared not look away. I kept my face firm as I stared down the devil.

“It was a curious thing, I thought, that you would choose to run away at such a young age, and so successfully. Most children would only get as far as the next town and yet you managed to travel all across the world.”

“How did you know where I was?” I asked, refusing to explain myself to him. He smiled rather oddly then. It was not quite a smile, and it certainly did not reach his eyes.

“I shant lie, I had to get involved myself but even with my help you evaded for some time.”

“How long?” He let go of my chin. I tried not to smile as he retreated, knowing that he was embarrassed to admit that it took longer than he was comfortable in admitting. It was something I could take a great deal of pride in. I was not very good at hiding my expression, knowing that a smirk was forming there.

“No ordinary ten-year-old would be able to do what you did. You had help.”

“I can assure you that the plan was all me.” He would not believe the truth even if I plunged it into the black empty void that stood where his heart ought to be.

“Then I shall be honest with you Miss Yui Komori: that was very impressive. Nobody has managed as long as you.”

“Has anyone tried?” His smile told me nothing, but I had a feeling that the answer was no.

“Well, moving aside from the business of your escape.” He took his seat in the middle of the room once again, resting his head against the knuckles of his hand. “Allow me to introduce my family to you.”

I took them all in quietly. There was an oddness in seeing them in real life. You could see the strangeness of their very nature. How their skin was too pale, almost like porcelain or perhaps china, and how their eyes were too bright, so you could clearly see what the colour was even from a distance. How the hair was almost transparent. How their bodies were almost completely still for the simply fact that their muscles did not ache, and they did not breathe.

How anyone would believe they were human was beyond me.

“And I’m assuming you know by now what we are.” I neither nodded nor acknowledged him verbally. I could hear him sigh as I was not observing any of them in that exact moment, instead staring at my reflection in the mirror behind Karl.

I was almost embarrassed by how strange I looked amongst them. With my rugged hair pulled in all directions, my ruddy face, my rigid posture as I anticipated any movement. How I looked like a feral camper who had gotten lost in the woods; more truth in the statement than I was proud to admit.

“Now you must choose which one is to be your caretaker.” I blinked, slowly, and turned my eyes to him. I hoped my disappointment was radiating from my body. I hoped that he could see just how disapproving I was of the situation and that I would not answer him. “That is something that requires an answer.”

The clock ticked loudly in the background. I was never a fan of clocks for the simple fact that the ticks would put me into a trance but would stop me from sleeping. I counted a full minute, feeling the irritation come from everyone in the room.

“An immediate an-,”

“Reiji Sakamaki.” I answered. I had not been thinking of the answer, particularly, so long as it was not one of the triplets. Beyond the fact that Cordelia was living in my mind, I knew them to be the most troublesome of the lot and personally wanted nothing to do with them.

‘Sabotaging my own children? How crude.’

‘Should have raised them better.’ She had little to say to that and I kept my face composed. Part of me wondered whether I should have gone with Shu, but I knew that he would not defend me against the others and Reiji would probably terminate me out of sheer irritation. ‘Maybe I should have gone with Subaru. Oh well, no returnsies.’

‘You’re going to get whipped a lot.’

‘Then I shall be as lady-like and as clever as I can possibly be.’

‘That’ll be a sight to see.’

‘Just for that you’re on.’

‘I’ll take that bet.’

As the others left I was left at Reiji’s hand and the disapproval I had felt earlier became even more apparent. It was almost unbearable as he came close, adjusting his glasses with clear disappointment in his eyes; he could not hide it even if he wanted to.

“Your behaviour tonight was simply appalling, and I expect to see an improvement or there will be dire consequences in the future.”

Observing him up close was a strange thing. He was ridged to the point of looking almost in pain because of it. I could see his ears faintly despite the thick layer of dark hair covering them. It was a rich navy from the top, fading to a heather colour before transforming into white. His eyes always seemed to be squinted and were a cherry colour.

“It’s clear to tell I’ve been on the run since I was ten.” Was the first remark that came out of my mouth.

“Yes, I suppose we shall have to train you like any other pet.”

“Woof.” I knew from the glint in his eye that he would enjoy it far too much. I would just have to do my best; if not to spite Cordelia then at least for the safety of my back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yui adapts.

CHAPTER TWO

I did not speak as he walked in front of me going over the number of rules that he had set in place. I watched his ridged back as he spoke, not once turning to acknowledge me, and wondered if he would even notice if I stopped walking.

“You will be expected to be downstairs for dinner at five o’clock sharp. Classes begin at seven o’clock and you will be sharing a classroom with me. You will be expected to aim for the highest marks and failure to achieve these marks will result in punishment.”

“How do you expect me to know anything in class when I haven’t been learning the subjects for the past eleven years?” I said eleven because I had only recently turned eighteen, but technically it was seven.

“I heard that you were exceptionally intelligent before you left and that you were studying subjects for someone double your age. If you need assistance to catch up, then I will personally tutor you.”

‘Well that’s going to end in a whipping. Especially when it comes to maths.’

‘When they start putting the alphabet in the numbers you know it’s game over.’ I responded in a snarky manner, nodding slightly even though he could not see me.

“You will be expected to behave in the appropriate manner. A school uniform will be provided for you and, seeing as your current attire is all that you have on you, other clothes will be provided and taken out of your budget.”

“I have a budget?” That was not something I had heard before, but the game had never been particularly vocal about Yui’s lifestyle outside of the love routes that she was forced through. I was surprised that I got any money at all.

“That is correct, 23071.55 yen a month. Although as you are lacking certain necessities to function as an appropriate student you will have to compensate me for any loss that comes outside of this budget.”

‘Well isn’t that delightful, you already owe him. Better put on your cheapskate glasses.’

‘I get the distinct impression that he will be deciding what I have.’ I thought grimly, letting the frown settle on my face.

I stayed surprisingly close to where the brothers stayed. It was strange to me how they all lived so close together seeing as they could not stand one another. Reiji pointed out who’s room was whose and why I should not enter them; not that I had the intentions of executing myself early by walking into anybody’s room. My room was right next to his own.

“Refrain from making too much noise as I require a full daytime’s sleep and it would be unwise to interrupt it.” I nodded as he took a key from his pocket and unlocked the door, stepping aside to let me in.

I was used to the game’s room which was girly and altogether the opposite of how I felt. This room was different in the sense that it was more gender neutral. The walls were more of a greyish-blue treading towards a faint green. The floor was wooden with a large, lush rug spread across it. I could immediately see a dark wooden wardrobe on the opposite side of the room with a floral design on the doors. The bed was a four-poster bed with white sheets upon which there was a rich navy quilt. I acknowledged a desk, a bed stand, and a large balcony with navy curtains. I also observed a door to the left in the direction of Reiji’s room. I wondered if it led to his room although I dared not say anything.

“I should hope this will be appropriate for you.”

“It is a beautiful room.” I remarked, although I was certain he did not need any sort of acknowledgement; and I doubted he was actually looking for my opinion.

“You will find a nightgown in the wardrobe. The door to the left leads to your private shower room. I insist you use it.”

‘Subtle this guy.’ It earned a slight smile, but I could not argue against what he was saying; I did not recall the last time I took a shower that was not in a cold river, and certainly could not recall products like shampoo. I knew I stank.

“Leave your old clothes outside the bathroom door and they will be disposed of appropriately.”

“I understand.”

“Good. Classes begin on Monday. Take this weekend to adjust to your settings.”

“Of course.” He did not say anything for a moment. I did not look, anticipating what he would do next. He did nothing.

“Good evening.”

“And to you.” He shut the door behind me, and I listened as his footsteps passed by the room, listening for the door to his room opening and shutting behind him.

Slowly, I let out a sigh. I did not realise how tense my shoulders were until he was gone.

‘Talk about tense.’

‘His arse is so tense you could shove a piece of coal up there and you’d come back with a diamond.’ Cordelia’s laugh eased my nerves as I walked to the chair sitting by the desk. Being a firm lover of history in the past, I could appreciate its beauty and the design on the seat. I wondered if it was mass produced then thought it unlikely; a family as wealthy as theirs would pursue only the most deluxe of products.

I sat down, pulling off my boots and my socks. I pulled the hoodie over my head, staring at it for a moment. I was certain Reiji would find something to complain about if I just threw it across the room so carefully folded it, not particularly well I would like to admit, before removing my jeans. I pulled off the vest and underwear, setting them on the seat before immediately strolling into the shower. I did not know if the others were monitoring me or if they would appear as they saw fit and was not inclined to be found completely naked in my room.

I took the nightgown and fresh underwear with me as I stepped into the shower room. I immediately noticed the door on the opposite side of the room and tried not to cringe at the fact that I was sharing a bathroom with Reiji. It was already unpleasant that he would be hearing me in the shower, but to also share it with him was just uncomfortable and I had no idea why he would choose to do such a thing.

All over the room I could see signs of his presence. The shampoo he used, the soap, the toothbrush. Even the razor.

“Well I’ll be damned he actually needs to shave.” I tried to imagine him with a beard. I giggled, quickly covering my mouth as I knew he could hear me. I found a note on the bathroom stand along with a small bag.

‘This’ll provide for you for now.’ Inside was a small bottle of shampoo, conditioner, some sanitary towels, a razor, and some soap. There was also a comb, a toothbrush and toothpaste and some tweezers.

‘He’s being suspiciously nice.’

‘Just means I’ll owe him more in the future.’

I took a while to figure out the shower, turning it to the appropriate temperature and setting it on full blast. I made sure to remember what temperature he had left it on before, so he would not remark on it later on.

I always knew that I would miss a shower more than anything else. Even here I preferred showers to baths. Although baths were a rare luxury in my past life, it could be said without a doubt that I found more ease in throwing myself in a shower. Then again, I never felt comfortable lying down for too long; I simply had too much built up energy in me.

‘And here you need to be alert all the time.’ The shampoo smelt faintly of rose as I ran it through my hair, keeping to the roots. The good news about my current hair was that it did not need as much special care as my old hair did because it was not as fine. I just needed one layer of shampoo and could actually use conditioner on it. It was the little things that brought a smile to my face; the fact that I did not have to shave as much was also a bonus.

“I can almost deceive myself into thinking I’m normal.” I mumbled out loud as I turned the shower off, turning it back to the temperature Reiji had left it at. I squeezed my hair until no water came out and padded over to the mirror.

In my reflection I could see how the years had worn down on me. My cheeks were slightly hollowed, there were faint bags under my eyes. My brows were furrowed in concentration or suspicion I could not tell, and there was a haunted look in my eyes; the eyes of somebody far older than a mere seventeen.

‘I mean technically you’re forty.’ I nodded turning away to put on my clothes. I did not want to be naked any longer than necessary and shuffled on the clean clothes. The clothes were delicate and gave off the illusion of being angelic; an illusion quickly shattered by my expression.

I combed the knots out of my hair, brushed my teeth, and tweezed my eyebrows. I turned my head from side to side, trying to see the me beyond Yui. I recalled that in one route Kanato suggested that I looked like Cordelia and I wondered where the truth in that statement was.

‘It’s the high cheekbones.’ I tilted my head at an angle, the lights above catching the highlight above my cheeks. I looked older and more mature them. I could see where he was coming from for a single moment. I looked away, putting all of my stuff back in the bag and zipping it shut. Confirming that there were no puddles in the bathroom, I quietly returned to my room and turned off the light, shutting the door behind me.

There was still nobody in my room, but I knew better than to let my guard down. Even if the door was locked they would still be able to get in, and with this grim thought in mind I made my way to the balcony, pushing the French doors open.

It was a long drop, that was the best way to describe it. I suspected as much considering the fact that we were on the second floor, but I was trying to be optimistic as I noted the distance. I could see very little in the darkness, although dawn was beginning to emerge, and observed the thick blanket of pinewood forest before me. I could see no civilisation for some time in this area and knew that even if I escaped the mansion I would have a long distance to go before I was able to make a proper escape, and by the time I did that I was certain to be caught.

‘But you’re not going to give up, are you?’

‘Definitely not. I just need to plan.’ I would see just how long the distance was when we travelled to school. ‘Oh god, school.’

I was an average student in the past life for the simple fact that teachers did not pay attention to me, but there were several subjects I simply could not grasp and knowing that Reiji expected the highest grades from me was downright unsettling. I would have to actually pay attention in class.

‘Speaking of, in the game I was in the same class as the triplets… I wonder why that changed?’

‘Perhaps because you delayed the game by a year they did not have to go to school for another year?’ I nodded. It was the only thing that made sense. I pulled away from the edge of the balcony, colliding with another figure. I jolted immediately.

“Oh my, the little bitch seems to be enjoying the view.” I had more difficulty maintaining a straight face than I thought I would but managed before I turned and faced him.

He was even more alien up close. The mole stood out like a sore thumb and there was something about the shape of his lips that was simply unpleasant to me. He knew I was looking at him and those unpleasant lips turned upwards into a smirk.

“See something you enjoy?”

“Your hair is transparent.” I stated simply, keeping my voice level. “I can see your ears through it.” If he was surprised by my statement he did not show it, instead leaning in closer. I did not move; I knew he would only be encouraged if I reacted.

“Yes, it is even thinner than human hair and quite sensitive. Perhaps you would like to run your hand through it?” The mere concept of touching him almost caused a shiver to run up my spine, and not in a comfortable manner.

“No thank you.”

“So frosty, little bitch.”

“Walking into my room uninvited generally does that, combined with an unpleasant insult tends to lead to hostility.”

‘You’re only encouraging him.’ Just as Cordelia stated, he seemed to only grow excited with my disinterest in being near him and reached out a hand to stroke down my cheek. It was a foul feeling the terrible chill of his hand; like the touch of a corpse.

“Then perhaps I can make it up to you by offering you a tour of the house.” It sounded like a terrible idea, and I knew that he would probably take me to the dungeons for torment if he could. I stood staring at him, refusing to blink, before I slowly turned away.

“Morning is coming. You should sleep.”

“Perhaps another time, then?” He was persistent, I was willing to give him that much.

“Ask Mr Reiji.”

“Already a willing pet for your master?”

“No, but I do know that my opinion will not matter here.” I could hear a chuckle from him. It was strange how it seemed to echo in the space.

“What a clever little bitch you are.” I did not comment further, treading away to pull apart the blankets from the bed, climbing inside. He seemed to stand there for a minute, but by the time I had adjusted the pillows he was gone.

‘Surprisingly nonsexual for him.’

‘Don’t let your guard down.’

‘Yeah, if anything I think I caught his attention.’ It was not a happy thought, and I slept with my front facing the door. I wished there was a wall to press myself against, that way nobody could sneak up on me. I was up for a full hour before I finally drifted off to sleep.

In my dreams he loomed over me like a shadow and I dared not move for I knew he would pounce if I acknowledged his presence. Red eyes gleamed like cat eyes in the darkness of the room as he pulled my hair aside. I could see the razor sharpness of his teeth as his mouth opened, the shine of the moonlight through the curtains I had forgotten to shut glinting against them.

“I wonder what could be so interesting about you that my father would waste so many resources in hunting you down.” My limbs were frozen, and my eyes would not close as he leaned in close, seemingly taking in my scent before he drew towards the tender flesh of my neck. With no strength to fight back, he was slow in piercing the skin. I could feel the anticipation of the fangs above my jugular, could feel the pinpricks as, ever so slowly, he sunk his teeth in.

I cannot describe how it ached but had a suspicion that he was being gentle compared to what he could have been. It was not quite like a needle, but more like the piercing of an ice pick through my neck. I was certain that if I could I would be trying to push him away, but after the teeth had fully settled in place there was a stranger sensation than the pain.

It was not exactly pleasurable, but it was certainly disorientating. I had only given blood once before, and had my blood taken once before that. I was a somewhat sluggish sensation, like having a few too many drinks and the world was slowly tilting to the left. A feeling of disorientation as the whole world spun on a different axis from the one you were used to, like the old circus ride Cake Walk where you could not place your feet right and you could not tell up from down.

I could see why some would find it an exciting, or an erotic, feeling but to me it was simply strange, and I felt no drumming in my heart as he drained my blood. I gained no satisfaction from the sound of pleasure that escaped his throat and felt no excitement as his grip on my arm tightened as though caught in the heat of a euphoric moment and he was struggling to maintain what fragments remained of his composure. I simply felt the oddness of the situation as he, finally, pulled away.

I could see that his pupils had stretched out much like that of a cat and there was a slightly movement of his lungs as though he were finally figuring out how to breathe. I could faintly hear it, more like the pants of an exhausted dog, and thought it a strange thing that my blood could pull such a reaction out of a composed individual. In that moment I finally felt a glimmer of pride in what I had done.

He pulled himself together by running a hand through his hair, a sigh escaping his lips. I could still see the wideness of his pupils, though, and knew that he was still affected by the moment.

“I think I can understand it now. I shall have to ensure none of the others come across this meal.” He remarked, pulling away from the bed. Pinned as I was by my own useless limbs, I could only hear him retreat from the bed and return to his own room.

At some point I must have fallen asleep because I could hear a beating against my door by the aggressive hand of what I assumed to be Subaru, and quickly pulled myself up. Although I thought it a terrible idea to answer the door in nothing but a nightgown, I did it anyway, pulling it slightly ajar.

“Dinner is in ten minutes, get sorted.” Was all he said before he stormed away.

Thankfully I was used to having to get sorted in a short amount of time. University had taught me such a thing fairly quickly, and I was glad to see that I did have other clothes in my wardrobe now. I wondered how they had managed to get the clothes so quickly and thought that perhaps they were clothes of precious sacrificial brides. I tried not to frown too much at the lack of trousers, pulling on the only pair I could see.

I could almost look like a boy with my button-up white blouse and green trousers. Seeing no shoes amongst the clothes, I made haste in combing my hair before retreating from the room. I still had three minutes to spare and moved as quickly as I could without running towards the area where I thought the dining room was.

‘It helps that I’m here to assist you.’

‘I bet he was hoping I would get lost so he could punish me.’ I thought as I reached the door. I allowed myself a moment to steady my breathing before entering, although I was sure they could all hear my drumming heart as I stepped through.

They were all in their designated seats. I was sat right next to Reiji, between him and Ayato.

“Hey, Titless, you were almost late.” I did not respond to his nickname. As was the case with all of the triplets, I was certain that giving him a response would only encourage him further. Certainly, when Yui did in the game he got excited, thriving off responses. I made my way to the chair with only a slight glance his way, pulling the chair away and sitting down on it, pulling it in slightly. I could hear him click his tongue. “Talk about boring.”

‘Fuck you I’m hilarious.’ Only a slight tugging of the corner of my lip gave away what I was thinking, but it was not on the side he could see. I could already see before me a small meal and several forks on my left side. ‘Oh god I’m going to start a fight immediately.’

‘Why?’

‘I eat with my fork in my right hand.’

‘Prepare for a beating.’ As everyone settled into their meal in silence, I picked up the knife and fork and switched hands. I could feel Reiji’s eyes on me but pretended I could not. At least I knew which fork to use. It was a sneaky trick I had learned at my fair share of weddings and back in the days where I wanted to research such things for stories taking place in the Victorian period; you started with the outside utensils and worked your way inwards.

“Our feral child eats like a lady.” Laito remarked at one point. It was not the first thing he had said, but I had tuned out most of the conversation as he was mostly provoking the others rather than engaging in actual conversation. “Do they have knives and forks in the wilderness?”

“Yes, and teacups and saucers. If you’re lucky you will find a dinner plate as well.” I quickly shut my mouth.

‘Just keep digging your own grave why don’t you?’

‘I’ve gone beyond the six feet and am reaching the bedrock.’

“You know, father never told us where you were found.” He was trying to pull me into conversation. I put the piece of steak in my mouth, wondering whether I would be able to get away with ignoring him or if that would be considered too rude a gesture.

‘God it’s like family weddings all over again.’ The formality, the prodding, the cousin that asked too many questions and wanted to know things you simply were not interested in talking about. The disapproving eye of your mother as you became less and less inclined to behave yourself. ‘Except this mother has whips and a dungeon.’

“Scotland.” I said, finding that I could not dodge it without getting even more in trouble. “Culloden battlefield, specifically.”

“Oh?” He waved his hand slightly, offering for me to continue.

“I knew they had captured me in Inverness, so I walked to Culloden battlefield.”

“Why would you do that?” I smiled slightly.

“Even if I explained it, you would not understand it.” It was probably rude, but it did end the conversation.

The dinner was mostly silent afterwards. I could hear Kanato mumbling vaguely to his bear, but I could not grasp the exact words. I did catch the word ‘doll’ and ‘Yui’ though, so I knew he was talking about me. Subaru ate only a bit before he stood up and left, and Shuu was quick to follow.

As I was actually eating, I was the last one left at the dinner table along with Reiji who made no comment to me as I ate quietly. It was only when I finished that I dared to speak.

“Thank you for the meal, it was delicious.”

“I should expect so.” I was about to pick up my plate to go to the kitchen, but a firm hand stopped me. I blinked, temporarily surprised, to see Reiji’s gloved hand on my wrist. “That will not be necessary, you are a guest in this household.”

It was not said with any particular warmth and I could tell from his expression that he thought that I would be careless enough to break it. I set the plate down and he released my wrist.

“We will need to talk about your table manners. Use the appropriate hands for the utensils in the future or you will be trained out of it.” I would have thought that he would jump for joy at the chance to strike me with a cane, but instead I got away with a scolding. Perhaps he, too, was behaving himself until I settled in.

‘Giving no compliments to the fact that you’ve never eaten in a formal environment before?’

‘You were expecting that from him?’ Cordelia said nothing as I simply nodded.

“I will try my best.”

“You will succeed.” He stared me down, daring me to correct him. I had enough sense not to and rose from the chair as quietly as I could. I pushed it back in.

“Good evening.”

There was not much I could do that would not get me into an uncomfortable situation. I spent most of the time in the library. I did not much like the concept, but I would have to catch up on old subjects that I had been avoiding for the past ten years. I knew my English to be phenomenal, and I had a firm grasp on the history of Japan as well as Japanese and Biology. I was a champion at art in my past life and was certainly still involved in it even now. However, my mathematics was worthy of tears and Physics and Chemistry involved too much maths for my comprehension.

“This is how I die. I die because of numbers.” I used to be good at maths until I was fourteen where a teacher had used entirely incompetent ways of dealing with the classroom. Afterwards my grade immediately plummeted, and I was never able to get a good grade since. “I wonder if a C counts as an acceptable grade?” I knew it would not count for Reiji, but I liked to hope.

‘Even I cannot understand this.’ Cordelia remarked as I tried to figure out the formulas.

‘I’m better at writing secret codes.’ I spent far too long in that library and barely registered the creeping presence of another behind me until I felt cold hands on my shoulders.

“What you doing there, Titless?”

“Wondering what sick maniac put the alphabet in maths so I can figure out how to teleport back in time and kill them.” I bemoaned, dropping my head to the desk with a heavy thunk. Of course, he laughed.

“Maths? Why you studying maths? Nobody likes that stuff.”

“Finally, a kindred spirit in suffering.” I rested my head against my forearm, still not straightening up. “I don’t enjoy studying but I get the feeling that if I do poorly in anything a certain bespeckled man may take to pulling off my fingernails one by one.”

“Four-eyes?” He dragged the chair loudly beside me and flopped down, lifting his legs onto the wooden table. “Nah, he’ll make sure it’s not where anyone can see it, but thanks for the idea.”

I stared at him dully for a moment, observing his profile. He looked… thin. It was the best way to describe it. Despite the strength I knew he had, and the fact that he was a part of the basketball team I could only see the fact that he seemed too stretched out. That his ribs stuck out somewhat and the paleness of his skin only made him seem even more fragile than he actually was. He looked like a young teenager, and I could not erase that from my mind so easily.

“Besides, you should focus on more important things like making me Takoyaki.”

“What’s Takoyaki?” I asked. I, of course, knew what it was and had eaten it before, but found that he could not demand Takoyaki from me if I did not know what it was. He stared at me with a slightly gaping mouth, eyes wide open. He seemed genuinely shocked that I had no idea what it was.

“Y-you’re kidding, right?” I shook my head. “You don’t know what Takoyaki is?”

“I haven’t been to Japan in ten years, I don’t know much at all.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty obvious!” Shock was replaced with a strange determination as he pulled me away from the seat with the strength I knew he had. “We need to get Four-eyes to make some immediately.”

‘Well shit.’ He would be furious at Ayato’s demanding but knowing that he was demanding because of something I did not have was unpleasant. I just kept on pushing buttons.

“Maybe we could go out and get some?” I offered sweetly as he pulled me through the corridors. “Like, tomorrow or something?”

“Go out?” He stopped then, turning to face me. Then there was a sly look on his face. “Are you asking me on a date?”

“No.” I responded bluntly, and the smile dropped. “I’m just…” I looked around, I knew he would probably hear me regardless, but I leaned in close to whisper anyway. “I’m trying to avoid annoying him too much.”

“Ha?” I sighed.

“Generally, the more uptight they are the scarier they are when they lose their temper.” Ayato was quiet for a moment, then he began to laugh. I should not have expected any sympathy from him as he quickly began to pull me away to where he knew Reiji to be. He was doing it on purpose this time and I knew it. Of course, he wanted to see Reiji get annoyed and see me suffer the consequences for it.

‘Surrounded by sadists, remember.’

‘Yeah, thanks for the reminder.’

I did not struggle, but I did drag my feet as he pushed open the door to the room Reiji resided in. I tried not to cringe as I saw that Reiji was reading a book and enjoying a cup of tea. Not exactly the best time to interrupt him.

“Oi, Four-Eyes, Titless hasn’t had Takoyaki before! We need some immediately.” I covered my face. Reiji would immediately try to blame it on me.

“Mr Ayato, please, we can have some at any other time.” I tried to speak up, but he shushed me. Quite literally, making the shushing noise and waving his hand. I blinked stupidly, I had not expected that.

“Come on, get to work.”

“He is busy, Mr Ayato, we can get some in town.”

“But that’ll take too long, and he makes better Takoyaki anyway.” I knew he was doing it on purpose, I could see it in his smile and wished that I had a blunt object to throw at him. Sure, it would get me in trouble, but it would be worth it for the surprise on his face.

‘And you would die happy.’

‘Which is looking less and less likely by the moment.’ I thought at Reiji sighed, setting his teacup down. It would be cold by the time he had returned to it, and I knew how terrible that would be. Cold tea was just sad tea. I caught the irritated glare he offered me and knew that I was in trouble. ‘May as well chug his poisoned tea now and be done with it.’

‘Make sure you get yourself a quick death.’

I watched in silence as he went about the kitchen sorting the ingredients, Ayato rocking back and forth in an impatient manner as he waited for his meal. He kept on asking how long it would take and that he was getting bored. He kept poking and prodding at me and would ask me all sorts of questions, not all of which were pleasant.

“So how come you’re so short?”

“Malnutrition.”

“Is that why you’re also flat-chested.”

“Probably.”

“Why’s your hair so short?”

“I used to hack at it with a knife until I looked like a boy.”

“Why’d you do that?”

“Because they were looking for an eighteen-year-old girl and I could easily be mistaken for a twelve-year-old boy.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” He rocked from one foot to the next. “So, why you scared of Four-eyes?”

I could barely see it. The slight tilt of Reiji’s head as he listened in on the conversation at last. I considered my answer carefully. No matter how I answered I would likely get an unpleasant response, but I thought regardless.

“In my experience, generally the more collected they are on the surface the more violent the outburst when you push them too far. I would prefer not to test and find out.” Though I knew it would not last forever, especially with one so quick to find faults like Reiji.

‘At least it’s not Kanato.’ Now that would be a horror story.

Ayato was shovelling Takoyaki down his throat by the time I had taken my first one. How he could do it without burning his throat was beyond my understanding and was somewhat disturbing for the fact that he was entirely unfazed by the heat.

“So, what do you think?” He demanded after I ate one of the dough balls.

“It’s good.” I responded.

“Good? Just good?”

“The texture is pleasant, the taste is savoury with just the right touch of sweetness, the ginger on top adds an extra freshness and-,”

“Okay, okay, I get it geez don’t write me a novel.” I smirked, and he could see that I was messing with him. I was not sure if he approved or not, but with Reiji there he seemed less inclined to punish me for it.

“Miss Komori meet me in my room after you are finished here.” He walked away without another word. Ayato let out a low whistle.

“Uh oh, looks like you upset him.”

“Correction: you upset him and he’s punishing me for it.” He just laughed.

“What can I say? I’m a professional.” I had to bite back my retort. He was enjoying this way too much. Instead, I aggressively ate as much of his Takoyaki as I could. “Oi! Oi! Leave some for me!”

The door had never seemed as ominous as it had done in that exact moment. Behind it lay a monster and I did not know what that monster intended to do to me. I stood there, feeling the moments tick by. Of course, he would know that I was standing there wasting time and he was probably relishing in my fear. If he was not a vampire, then I thought for certain he must be a demon that feasted on the negative emotions of humans.

‘Steady your heart.’

‘Trying.’ Another moment ticked by before I gathered my courage and knocked on the door.

“You may enter.” I stepped through and prayed that whatever punishment he was going to issue it would be quick. I would wish that it was pain free, but I would never be so lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading so far, hopefully you enjoy this chapter as well!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yui is confronted by others.

CHAPTER THREE

I took in Reiji’s room with a careful calm about me. I understood that I was guaranteed to receive some sort of reprimand so thought it would do very little good to beg as that would certainly only encourage him or create the idea that I was even lower than I was, combined with the fact that I understood he would not give me mercy even if I did beg.

There was only one window that I could observe within the room, the curtains drawn open to bring in light although not enough to illuminate the space clearly, with the lights of the chandelier providing a muted orange glow to the space, clashing against green walls.

‘Always would have thought that he would prefer blue.’ I thought to myself as I turned my head slowly to note the plain bed and the built-in cupboards where an assortment of tableware stood firm. Between the two in-built cupboards there was another cupboard which stood out from the wall containing even more pieces of tableware.

‘This guy has an obsession.’

‘His preferences are certainly interesting.’ I mused as I finally turned my head towards the circular coffee table and two chairs next to the fireplace. On the coffee table was a tray with a pot of what I assumed to be tea with two teacups and two saucers. I noticed there was no sugar or milk to be seen. I also noticed that the cups were equally spaced apart. ‘So, he likes order even in his dishware.’

‘Beatrice, you created someone with a complex.’

‘Oh, without a doubt.’

“Please, take a seat.” I came closer, briefly noting the pattern on the rug before I took my seat. I did not pull the chair any further apart from the table even though it was closer than I thought it would be and closer than I was comfortable with.

I observed the way he poured the tea, lifting the tea cup with one hand and the pot with another, lifting the teapot high then lowering it. I thought it to be a very unusual way of pouring tea but made no comment as he set the tea cup back down on the saucer. He did not pour himself a cup and I suspected it to be drugged. Cautiously, I took the cup and saucer and set it on my lap. I intended to avoid drinking it for as long as I could.

‘I’m not immune to drugs.’ Cordelia reminded me. I knew that if Reiji was not immune to it, then I certainly would not be. Part of me was curious to see what strange concoction he had in store.

“I would like to go over your behaviour for the past couple of days. You have shown poor table manners, have engaged in conversation with unpleasant individual and have interrupted me on occasion and then taken to insulting me to my face.”

‘And I thought you were being pleasant.’

‘He finds things to nitpick about. Part of his complex.’

“As you have been in the wilds for some time without proper discipline I feel it is only appropriate that I educate you on how to properly behave. Any poor conduct you demonstrate reflects poorly on myself and I will not tolerate my reputation being soiled because of your lack of discipline.”

‘God, just get on with the pain anything’s better than this lecture.’ Cordelia moaned out in despair. I fought back the smile that wanted to appear on my face.

“Is this amusing to you?” It seemed I did not conceal the emotion hard enough.

“No, sir.” He stared at me with a keen eye and I knew that he would not respond kindly. Not that I expected him to.

‘Great going, Cordelia, you may have gotten me an extra whipping.’

‘What can I say? I am a comedic delight.’

Reiji turned and walked behind me. I did not turn to see what he was doing no matter how curious I was, but I could hear him pull a drawer open and pull something out before closing it again.

‘My bets are on a whip.’

‘Mine are on a cane.’ I won my bet as he came forth with a thin bamboo cane. From what I could recall, the thinner the cane the more painful the strike.

I had never been beaten as a child, not even a smack coming my way, but I had become hardened to pain regardless. Beyond my natural tolerance to pain, I had often injured myself and had lost most feeling in my hands by the time I had hit my twenties. I had made sure to toughen the skin on my hands here as well knowing full well that I would have pain inflicted upon them at some point. Most of my body was hardened in some way if not because of purposeful discipline then at least because of the fact that I had been sleeping on the hard forest floor for some time.

“Bring forth your arms and roll up your sleeves.” I set the untouched tea back on the table and did as he told.

‘Sure you can handle this?’

‘It’s small compared to what he could do.’

‘Careful, he might read our thoughts and up his game.’

I put my wrists side by side and stared up at him. He seemed to be observing me with curiosity.

“You are not going to beg?”

“Would you release me if I did?”

“I would not.”

“Then I shall not.”

He moved to my left side and, in a strange twist, lifted my hands to see the palms of them. He turned them slowly.

“You appeared to have quite rough hands. There is a thick calloused layer over the palms. We shall have to remove that.”

‘Reiji out here stealing your skin.’ He dropped my hands.

“And we’ll have to tend to your nails as well. They are blunt and repulsive to look at.”

A moment ticked by. I listened to the clock with its dull ticks. The cane came down hard, the sharp sting of wood against my wrists getting a sharp gasp out of me. I kept my mouth shut and my eyes forward. I dared not look at what he was doing as he came down a second time. After the third strike the skin became tolerant of the pain, but I listened to the sharp whack another four times. I waited another moment before unclenching my teeth.

“You may lower your arms.” I did so, the throbbing flesh of my wrists asking to be rubbed if only to ease the springing pain that was beginning to settle there. I thought for certain my lack of vocality had frustrated him in some manner for when I turned my head to look up at him I could see it in his eyes. He was unsatisfied, and I took a grim delight in that. “It would be wise, in the future, if you did not look at me with such an expression.”

“What expression do I have on my face right now?” He did not answer, moving to the set of drawers and pulling the top drawer open, placing the cane neatly inside and shutting the drawer again. I watched as he returned to the coffee table and took a seat opposite where I had been sitting, observing the way he crossed his legs; left leg over right.

“You may return.” I did so. I did not take the tea. “You do understand that tea is for drinking.”

“Are you going to drink?” He sighed, and poured himself a cup, but he did not drink.

“Tea is better when it is hot.”

“I am aware.”

‘He’s starting to get irritated.’

‘He knows I know it’s drugged.’

“You are wasting it. That is rather improper of you. Perhaps I have not disciplined you properly.” I picked up the tea, slowly, raising the cup from the saucer and took a single sip. I could taste the metallic twang under the taste of Earl Grey and, with an understanding that I may lose consciousness soon, quickly set the sauce and tea cup down on the table.

It was as soon as I released the cup that I felt an overwhelmingly nausea take hold of me.

There were only a few times in my life that I felt genuine nausea. Once when I recovered from surgery in a hospital, and twice when I was on a ferry during an intense storm travelling up to Orkney. The sickness would come suddenly, and your senses would become muted. You would feel a tingling at the back of your throat and you would be unable to register which direction your body was going or how to control it.

I remained sitting as ridged as I could as the world tilted sharply to the left, the feeling of spinning on an axis taking a firm hold of my mind, pulling slowly at the neurons in my brain; twisting them in different directions.

“Are you quite alright?” The cold smile on his face told me all I needed to know as he leaned in close, an anticipation on his face as he reached out with a gloved hand and pulled at my arm, as if trying to drag me out of the seat. I did not have the strength to remain locked in place and fell limply to the ground, a sack of meat in the very literal sense. “Oh dear, what a terrible sight you make. At least you did not spill the tea.”

‘What a liar, I bet he was hoping for you to drop the cup and give him even more reason to torment.’ Cordelia spat. I could feel her energy pumping through my veins as she struggled against the drug. ‘I may not be immune, but I can certainly pump it out faster.’

‘Don’t think you can pump it out fast enough.’ I thought bitterly, the feeling of my rushed heartbeat and unsteady breathing bizarre as I knew she was trying to force it out faster than it would have done otherwise.

“Could it be that you are frightened of me? Yes, I do recall you stating that you believed the more composed they are the more violent the outburst.” He stood over me for some time, simply observing, before he knelt down and lifted my useless body up. I could feel the wood of the chair against the nape of my neck as he held me by the chin, staring me in the eye. “Interesting, though your heart is beating faster, and your breathing is erratic, your pupils are not dilated. You do not seem to be afraid at all.”

‘Just murderous.’

“The effect of the drug has done the opposite of what I had intended. Although you cannot use your limbs, you were also supposed to have a slowed heartbeat and more relaxed breathing. This is a very interesting result.”

‘Which means I’m probably going to be a test subject.’ It was not something I wanted hanging over me like a corpse.

He leaned further forward, turning my face to the side as he knelt down to pierce my neck.

The dizziness that came with the drug combined with the sensation of lost blood which rushed through my veins at a rapid speed with the attempt to be rid of the concoction was disorientating. I thought for certain I would pass out but refused to do so. It was through sheer will that I remained conscious throughout the ordeal.

As he drained my blood, I could feel my heart steady and my breathing came out level. Movement came back into my body as I opened and closed my hand. Though he was not looking, I dared not move. He drew away after a moment, a small trickle of blood running from his lips. There was a glint in his eye as he observed me.

“You have finally relaxed.” I lifted my hand and brought it to the area where he had drawn blood. No blood came back so I knew the wound to be sealed. “You have also recovered.”

I was a bug under his gaze; an anomaly that he could not understand. He would continue to pick me apart until I began to make sense to him, even if he had to shatter me into a million pieces. Cordelia may have saved me in the short term, but I feared what it meant in the long term. I knew that the last thing I wanted was to catch a vampire’s attention, and that was what I had just done.

“If you can move appropriately, then I suggest you return to your room now.” I stood up slowly, a slight dizziness taking hold of me. It was like the first time I had given blood, although altogether more unpleasant. I stood still for a moment, letting the dizziness pass, before I made my way to the door. I could feel his eyes on me as I opened the door, shutting it behind me.

I did not find much comfort in the bed for it still felt too soft for me. I was used to sleeping on hard surfaces, so a bed was simply strange to me, and I did not want to feel relaxed in this environment. Last night I had fallen asleep almost too quickly for my liking on it, and I did not want to do it again. I instead drew back the desk seat and sat down, leaning forward to rest my head against the cool surface of the wooden desk.

I simply lay there for some time, registering what had happened. It was clear cut and very typical of Reiji; he was demonstrating power over me and yet I had left him unsatisfied for my lack of response. It was incredibly likely that in the future his disciplinary actions would only grow more extreme in the future as he tried to maintain domination over me.

‘And yet you want to continue to avoid responding.’

‘What can I say? I’ve always been a rebel.’

‘That could get you killed.’

‘It could.’

“Oh dear, it seems as though Reiji has left a lasting impression on you, little bitch.” I did not lift my head to respond.

“Strangely enough… not really.”

“Oh?” I lifted my head, staring at the wall in front of me.

“He struck my wrists seven times and drugged me tea before draining me of blood but… I could not find it in me to feel afraid.” I turned in the direction of Laito’s voice, seeing him sitting on the bed watching me.

“He might take offense to that.”

“He certainly will.” I dragged the chair back, walking towards Laito. “What are you doing in here?”

“Can’t a man visit his favourite little bitch?”

“Once again, you did not knock, and you insulted me directly.”

“I forgot.”

“Then please return to the door and knock this time.” He chuckled and took my hand, pulling me down onto the bed. He pinned my wrists above my head and seemed to take in the injuries.

“Oh dear, he did quite a number on them. Poor little bitch, he’ll tear you apart in no time if you don’t begin to improve.”

“You did not need to pin me to the bed to tell me that.”

“Oh, but I did in order to do this.” He leaned towards my neck and I could feel his cold breath against it. “You smell delightful. I could eat you up.”

‘I’m pushing him off.’ Before I could word my protest, she took possession of my legs and kicked at him with all of my might. It was only enough to nudge him slightly, but it seemed to have genuinely caught him by surprise. ‘I’m not as strong as I used to be.’

‘Just strong enough to be suspicious.’ He blinked, slowly, as if taking a moment to register what had happened. I took it as an opportunity to pull my arms away, slipping away from underneath him.

“I’d rather not be anaemic in the morning.” The surprise faded away as I spoke, and he was upon me again, pinning me against the wall.

“It seems the little bitch has some interesting seconds to unfold.” I did not struggle when he bit down, the disgusting sound escaping his lips repulsively lewd.

‘He sounds like a porn star.’ I thought to myself, and for once Cordelia said nothing. Perhaps it was the awareness of the fact that she had created him this way that rendered her quiet and I sincerely hoped it was. Though I lived in the same mind space as her, I was not inclined to forgive her for her past crimes and she knew this all too well.

“Why, little bitch, you’re simply overwhelming. I would desire no better a meal than you.” I bit back the retort on my tongue, knowing that any form of resistance that I willing to throw at him would only encourage him further.

He pulled away, his face flush with excitement.

“There’s such a cold expression on your face.” He drew his delicate fingers along my jaw. “I can’t feel any joy coming from you. I can promise you this, if Reiji shall be the one to try and inflict torment on such a beautiful young lady, then I will bring you all the pleasure you need. You need only call.” I considered my response.

And smiled.

“There is nothing you can do to bring me genuine happiness.” I wondered if my smile was strange or if my eyes were too empty for he seemed to almost still at the comment.

“I shall correct that.” It was said like a promise as he brought a tender kiss to my cheek. When I blinked, he was gone.

‘Should have told him I’ve never wanted to date anyone.’

‘He’d just take it as a challenge.’

‘These vampires take everything as a challenge.’

I returned to the chair. The maths book I had been studying with in the library was bookmarked at the page I had left it at with the paper I had been writing on. I could see the marks Reiji had left behind on which answers were correct.

As I had expected, most of them were wrong, and he told me such.

‘Never thought that maths would be the death of me.’

‘Third time’s the charm.’ I let out a sigh and began to work on the next page. He had at least been merciful enough to show me where I went wrong, and I hoped it would make it easier for me.

I had fallen asleep at the desk when I heard a knocking at the door. It was not a loud, thunderous knocking as had been the case with Subaru, but a gentle tapping. It was almost shy in its nature which made me instantly suspicious as I stretched up and cracked my back. I knew sleeping at the desk would be bad for my posture but in that moment, I did not care as I walked over to the door, opening it.

Kanato was one of the few vampires that genuinely unsettled me. I noted the lavender tone of his hair and how it faded to white at the tips, and the wide-eyed almost deer-like eyes that stared down at me with a vague curiousity about him. The way his shoulders were always slightly raised, as if on edge, and how his eyes were bruised because of the bags under them.

It was never Kanato’s appearance that unsettled me. Had he had a different personality I would have considered him cute, I would even go so far as to say he was adorable. It would be offensive to say it out loud, but he had the appearance of one of the children I used to take care of in girl scouts; a girl who was always latched onto me much like a koala bear who was often a troublemaker but had the appearance of an angel that often allowed her to get away with anything.

I thought of Kanato’s sharp emotional switches and made sure not to look at the bear clutched in his arms lest he take offense.

“How may I help you?” I asked in the calmest possible voice. It was difficult to be calm with someone that could take offense to the slightest thing and would slam a fork into your forearm when he was upset. I had to tread carefully.

“You are invited to my tea party.” I took a moment to respond, but not so long that he would begin to question whether I was stupid.

“Where is it?”

“Follow me.” He moved without another word and I followed immediately afterwards, shutting the door behind me.

I did not know what he was saying, but he was intent on talking to the bear instead of me throughout the entire tea party. I did not know why I was invited and though I tried to keep calm I was certain that my heart beat was at least slightly elevated the entire time. It was the same anxiety that I had when I was driving a car; the fear of everything going horribly wrong in a single split second keeping me constantly on edge.

“Hey, Teddy, don’t you think she’s being rude? She has not said a single word to us. Maybe she’s ignoring us.” He turned his attention on me and visibly bristled. “Are you ignoring us?”

“I apologise if it seemed as though I was. I am… struggling to think of what to say.”

“Too stupid to even think?” He blinked his big doe eyes at me and I had to resist the urge to roll my own.

“It is not that I am not thinking, as it is I am overthinking. As I do not know you, I do not know what will cause offense.”

“Hm?” He tilted his head and leaned slightly forward in his seat. I held back the urge to push back into mine. “So, you at least have the intelligence to try to avoid offending.” He remarked, and then he glanced down at the bear. “But you have offended me anyway.”

“My apologies.”

“How are you going to make it up to me?” I thought for a moment as his face contorted into fury. “I said how are you going to make it up to me!”

‘And there it is.’

“I do not know.” He slammed me against the chair, knocking me down. I hit the ground with a thud, wincing slightly at the pain as he pinned me down. In his hand I could see a gilded golden fork.

‘I was dreading this.’

“Why don’t I stab out those pretty little eyes of yours and replace them with some new ones. You would look so much better with green eyes.” He lowered the fork, slowly, towards my eyeball. I could almost feel the prongs touching the flesh when he pulled away laughing. “That look on your face! I love it. Show me it again.”

It was fear he saw, perhaps the only time I had let it slip through. I could not help it, I knew that out of all of the vampires he was the most challenging. He struck the fork down on my hand, the prongs piercing the skin there and I felt the sharp pinch running through my body. I did not scream out though; even in pain I was never one for crying out. He pulled it out.

“You are surprisingly quiet when hurt. Normally I prefer silence, but in this case, I want to hear you cry out.” He struck down again, and again. There was a childish glee in his eyes as the stabs became more obsessive, taking in the look on my face with what I could only describe as an unsettled lust.

Then he became bored and pulled the fork away.

“This simply will not do.” He said, dropping the fork. He pulled my arm upwards and began to lick at the blood that had oozed out of the wounds, the feeling of his tongue against the wounds by far more sickening than the actual feeling of being stabbed. It reminded me of an enthusiastic dog, but it was the way he maintained eye contact with me throughout the tedious procedure, as though waiting for a lustful or fearful response, that was strangest to me. When he bit down I did not flinch or struggle and did not make a sound. “My, Yui, you are just like a doll.”

‘That is already the most sickening thing he could have said to me.’

‘Make sure you do not join his collection.’

“Ah, that’s right. Women tend to get frustrated when you drink their blood without kissing them.” He pulled away from my arm and, with my blood still fresh on his lips, bowed down for a kiss.

It was bizarre, to me, being kissed. In the past life I had never been kissed and never understood what the point of such a thing was. It brought me no excitement and though he pressed with full force I did not open my mouth as he was trying to demand from me. He did not fight it and pulled away, a strange expression on his face. I could not read it, and I wondered what he saw on my own face that had left him looking so out of place.

Then he stood up and returned to his seat as though nothing had happened at all. I got up from the ground and pulled the chair with me, sitting down on it. I considered speaking but decided to say nothing at all. He no longer seemed in the mood for conversation and did not even acknowledge his bear as he ate his cake.

“Hey, Teddy, let’s go.” He got up without another word, leaving me alone in the room. I let out a steady sigh before I also got up. I smuggled a few of the sweets into my pockets before I left the room in pursuit of the kitchen. I hoped I would find a first aid kit there.

“What happened to your arm?” Reiji happened to be there in that exact moment. How long he had been in the kitchen, I did not know, although he seemed to be preparing dinner.

“Mr Kanato was angry at me.” I remarked, opening the cupboards in search of a first aid kit.

“It would be wise of you to not provoke him.”

“I did not.” The knife continued to chop the carrots.

“It would also be wise not to talk back.” I said nothing, finding what I was looking for. I was slightly too short for it even when I stood on my tip toes. Reiji could be heard letting out a frustrated sigh before the chopping ceased, the knife clinking against the chopping board. “You are wasting my valuable time here, Miss Yui.”

He reached out and pulled the first aid kit from the top shelf, opening it.

“Then I shall waste no more of it.”

“No, I fear you would only cause yourself more injury.”

‘I took a first aid course you slut.’ It was almost as though he could read my mind because he gave me a sharp glare as he took out an alcoholic wipe and rubbed my arm harshly with it. I did not wince, though I wanted to, as the alcohol seeped into the open wounds, the roughness of his aid pulling the holes from side to side.

Several plasters later and the wounds were dealt with. He shut the first aid kit and put it back where it belonged. I would have to look for some sort of stool in the future, knowing for certain that I would gain plenty of injuries in the future.

“Do make yourself look presentable for dinner. You look atrocious.”

I had the distinct impression that no matter how I dressed Reiji would find something to complain about, but I put in some effort regardless. He had, at least, not gotten to the stage where he was stripping me down and dressing me up himself and I counted that as a win in my bag as I combed my hair forward into two low pigtails; attempting to conceal the two bites on my neck. They would comment on it if they saw them, I was certain, but I had no make up to hide the tiny bruises that remained so hoped that my hair would do enough for the time being.

“Little Bitch is looking like a treat today.” Was the first thing I heard as I settled down. He was sitting to my right with Reiji to my left, and his full attention was on me. In front of me was Kanato.

‘So, a child, a rapist, and a butler all walk into a bar…’ I thought as I took the knife and fork. I did not switch hands this time though the urge was strong as I cut into the steak. It simply felt wrong, and I tried not to let the irritation show on my face as I cut it into pieces. It did not help that Laito had not since turned his face from me and, when he did eat, he was making rather sexual sounds. I kept my face straight, although the others did enough complaining for me.

“Oi, freak, you mind being fucking quiet?” Subaru snarled, the anger clear on his face.

“I’m just enjoying a delicious meal, little brother.”

“Like fucking hell you are!” He slammed his fists against the table, the tableware clattering as he stood up from the chair, the chair falling back behind him.

“No need to get so frustrated, Subaru, it’s not my fault you have a perverted mind.”

“You want to fucking go!?” He began to make his way towards Laito when Reiji finally spoke.

“Subaru sit down. And Laito stop making those repulsive sounds.” Subaru clicked his tongue but did as he was told and Laito ate without another perverted noise escaping his lips. He was no longer looking at me, but when I lifted my eyes from the plate I could see that Kanato had not once turned his eyes away from me. When our eyes caught a strange smile appeared on his face as he hugged his bear even closer.

‘Oh, I’ve definitely got his attention.’ I maintained the stare for exactly three seconds before I focused back on the meal.

Once again, I did not sleep in the bed. In fact, I chose not to sleep at all. I could feel a presence behind the door and dared not sleep until it passed. It never did and when night rose once more I realised that I would have to get ready for my first day of school.

‘I thought I was free of this whole drama.’ I mused as I went into the wardrobe and pulled out the uniform, laying it flat on the bed before I went to the bathroom.

Reiji was already in the bathroom and I will not lie and say that it was strange to see him with stubble on his face. It was not much, I noted, perhaps because of the fact that he was still technically a teenager, but it was enough to be noticeable for the simple fact that it was dark.

“You look atrocious.”

“I did not sleep.” I ran the towel under the sink and washed my face with it.

“Do you often have trouble sleeping?” I set the towel down.

“Not often.”

“See that it does not become a problem. It would reflect poorly on me if you were seen to be in poor health.” I had nothing to say to that which would not come across as an insult so took out the tooth brush and toothpaste, saying nothing more as we both went about our morning routines.

‘He almost looks normal like this.’ I thought as I observed him washing the razor. It was not an ordinary razor, of course it was not, but a cut-throat razor and I thought briefly of Sweeney Todd when he set it down. ‘Not too normal, then.’

Kanato had been standing at the door by the time I had opened it, and I knew that it had been him waiting at the door all night for me to fall asleep. If he was irritated, he hid it well as he stood there waiting for me to speak.

“Good morning, Mr Kanato.”

“Mm.” Was all he had to say as he, finally, walked away.

‘He was probably waiting for you to fall asleep, so he could drain your blood.’

‘Or turn me into a doll.’

‘Both sounds about right.’

Reiji was quick to point out the many issues of my attire. Like a frustrated mother he undid the ribbons and retied them and forcibly pulled my hair out of their pigtails and retied them, so they were more to his liking. I did not see the difference, but I assumed that in his eyes they were straighter and more symmetrical. He stared with a calculating gaze then sighed.

“It will simply have to do.” I got into the car without another word. Laito was quick to creep onto me and did not once leave my side. Kanato stared the entire time without a single word. The only relief I had was in knowing that I did not share a classroom with them; perhaps there I would get some peace.

‘If you did not share the classroom with Reiji.’

‘Thanks for that reminder.’ Despite Laito’s leery manner, the car journey was silent, and I found myself staring out the window the entire time. I had glanced at the clock once before I got into the car and was trying to figure out how long it would take to get to school. If I could figure out how long it took by car I could calculate it by foot easily. If I could figure out how long it took, I could figure out how long I had to escape the mansion when I broke free. It was not much, but it was a good start.

‘You also need to find out how far their phone access goes.’ I nodded slightly, keeping my eyes on the city before me. I would need to figure out the name of the city and the transport in the area as well. I needed to figure out just how far I could get in a single session before they pursued me.

I just needed an opportunity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading so far. I've taken in your criticisms and hopefully this is more to your taste.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yui deals with school.

CHAPTER FOUR

There was never a particular need to introduce myself to the front of a classroom both in the past or as a part of Yui’s life as the only time I had moved from one location to the next was long after school had ended for me and the need to have a prepared statement had passed. At I stood outside the doorway of the classroom I could not help but wonder to myself what the teenagers within Reiji’s classroom were like.

Often times the more dramatic and vengeful sort were more appropriately in their early to mid-teens, but I found that some people failed to grow out of bad habits and some people were children no matter their age. I stared down at my freshly polished shoes and thought to myself that I would be blessed if I avoided having such people in the classroom as I was certain that Reiji was popular despite his cold attitude.

The classroom door was opened, and I stepped through. With my back straighter than a ruler I observed the group of people before me.

It was often a thing in anime to have only the main characters with flamboyant hair colours and there was little denying the fact that I was preparing for such an outcome myself. I was, however, impressed to see some people with blonde hair and red hair, and even one person with dark green hair.

‘I’m almost relieved that I won’t stand out so much.’

“Would you like to introduce yourself to the class?”

“Good evening, everybody, I just recently moved into town. My name is Yui Komo-,”

“Yui!?” I jolted, my introduction cut short by a sharp female voice.

One of the students had stood up and was pointing an accusatory finger at me. I stared, shock on my face, as I registered what had just happened. The girl in question had long brown hair currently in two high ponytails and had almond shaped eyes that were almost black in colour.

It took me only three seconds to figure out who she was.

“Miss Sakura?” I was almost embarrassed by how innocent I sounded then. I struggled to compose my face as the teacher cleared his throat.

“Yes, well, welcome to the class. And do sit down Miss Minamoto. There is a seat available by her, if you wish to take it Miss Komori.”

“Thank you, teacher.” I bowed briefly and took my seat next to her. I could feel Reiji’s eyes on me but as he was behind me I did not think it a wise idea to turn around and let him know that I could feel his presence, or risk being scolded further still for inappropriate behaviour in class.

“What the hell, Yui, when did you get back?”

“I was recovered two days ago.” I took out my notebook and pen, forcing my head forward as the class started.

“You just up and vanished almost eleven years ago. We thought you were dead.” I let a small smile appear on my face but did not turn my head to look at her.

“We can speak after class. I have a lot of catching up to do.”

Having experienced lectures for five years with no time to ask questions or breaks to understand what had been said, class was surprisingly relaxing although I wasted no time in filling the notebooks as we went from one lesson to the next. Unlike previous school experience, we stayed in the same classroom and instead the teachers came to us.

Sakura, I observed, was not one for studying. Her foot was always tapping, and she took to tying the ends of her hair together across her upper lip like a moustache. When she was asked questions she never had the answer and seemed proud of such a fact. I could be seen cringing at her complete disregard more than once and was almost embarrassed to be sat next to her.

I was only grateful for the fact that I was not once asked a question in Maths, still unable to grasp the formulas before me and knew that I would have to ask the teacher for more help in the future. I was certain that even if Reiji was not looking at me, he could hear my faint groan of despair midway through the Maths class as I ran my hands through my hair.

“Every time I look at numbers I feel closer and closer to what true despair is.” I remarked, resting my head against the desk with a false sob as Sakura mocking patted my back.

“I stopped paying attention years ago, but you used to be a genius, so you’ll catch up in no time.”

“I’ve never had much talent for maths.” I moaned, lifting myself from the desk. “I just can’t understand the numbers. I used to be brilliant, but then I had one teacher teach it all wrong and my grades just dropped, and I still can’t find it in me to love it again.”

“You had a teacher when you were kidnapped?” I realised my error but did not stumble.

“I had been at a few schools across the world in an attempt to blend in.” I stretched up, glad that my back did not crack horribly this time. “Beyond my past skills, it’s how I’m mostly able to get by.”

“I’ll say, your English is freakishly good.” I hid the smirk. “Okay, so spill. How were you found?”

I thought for a moment and wondered how best to go about the situation. She had thought that I had been kidnapped rather than choosing to run away of my own accord, and I preferred it that way.

“I was found in the Scottish Highlands by chance and taken to stay with some friends of my father as my father is currently in Europe and unable to see me.” She let out a low whistle.

“Damn, he’s not even taking a break to see you? That’s harsh.”

“I am certain that he has… other things he has to deal with as well.” It was tempting to tell her that he was the reason that I was suffering in the present, but I held back the urge. For the simple fact that even if she believed me there was nothing she could do about it, and I would be causing her a great deal of harm if I did choose to tell her so. She was better off not knowing, and I frankly did not believe she had enough cunning to help me out of the situation.

“Well, I’m glad to have you back.” She got up, sharply, and I followed after. “I’ll show you around the school!”

“Actually, Miss Minamoto.” Reiji cut in. I suspected he would be listening in one way or another which was why I had been careful with how I spoke. I glanced up, only for a moment, to see the barely supressed disgust on his face. I figured he would not like Sakura a great deal. “I will be tending to Miss Komori.”

Sakura latched onto me, wrapping her arms around my own.

“I’m sure you have more important things to worry about, Mr Sakamaki. I promise she’ll come back in one piece. Besides, I have a lot of catching up to do with Yui.”

He seemed to be thinking. I wondered how he would go about dealing with the situation. I knew it would do him no good to insult her directly as he had a reputation to uphold and if he was seen to be unpleasant even to someone that he clearly disliked then word would spread fast, and part of me suspected that Sakura was the sort that knew how to spread a rumour.

“Very well. Miss Komori, I shall see you in the library after the tour.” I nodded, maintaining eye contact. He did not blink once as he turned away and left the classroom, shutting the door quietly behind him.

“You know Mister Study Dudy over there?” I let out a steady sigh.

“It’s his family I’m staying with.”

“Oh god.” I let out a low chuckle.

“God isn’t helping me in this situation.”

Sakura was certainly the talkative type and filled the silence where I was unable to find anything to talk about. I watched mostly in silence as I counted the number of potential exits. Narrow corridors, enclosed spaces, and CCTV cameras. I noted their angles and their blind spots and observed how many fire hydrants there were.

“There are certainly a lot of cameras.” I had pointed out to her as I opened another door. I had taken to opening and closing all the doors in the building to see what was inside and take note of the inventory. The current door opened up to a simple janitor closet with cleaning equipment inside. I noticed the cleaning chemicals inside. If I could find some vinegar and mix it with the bleach I could make Chlorine gas.

‘There might be too many casualties for that.’ I mused as I closed the door.

“It’s because there’s a lot of rich people here.” She said as I turned back to her. “We’ve got celebrities, politicians, CEOs, the whole lot really. You and I are the odd ones out here, so we definitely have to stick together.”

“I would certainly be driven mad if they spoke about the burdens of not having the latest phone model with hologram technology.” I smiled faintly as she burst out laughing. I did not think it was that funny, but I had a particularly twisted sense of humour that I understood to concern Japanese people; in the past life I had been warned that not only did sarcasm fly over most people’s head, but people would be genuinely concerned at the amount of morbid jokes I would make on a daily basis. Scottish dry humour would not do me well. “Weeping because instant coffee was used instead of freshly ground coffee done by the hands of an Indian woman.”

“I mourn, dear child, for these tea leaves were not plucked under a full moon in February and steamed over mahogany branches!” I did laugh then. It was her voice which sounded disturbingly like Reiji, and I could not help but imagine that he would have a tea like that within his collection.

The fire escape led to the large field around the back of the main school building. The wire fence was approximately seven feet tall and when I pulled at it I found that it was quite firmly in place. I had climbed over and under plenty of fences in my time thanks to my previous career and knew that I would easily get over it. I glanced back and observed the various windows staring back at the field. I would have to see which classes the Sakamakis were involved in and where they were before I considered it as an escape route.

‘Have to make sure they don’t see me.’

The journey ended at the library on the second floor with Sakura resting her hands on my shoulders.

“I wish you the best of luck.”

“Nolite te Bastardes Carborundorum.” She stared for a moment.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“It’s French. It means ‘don’t let the bastards grind you down’.”

“I’ll have to remember that one.”

“I’ll show you the book it came from.” With a firm nod, she released my shoulders and walked away, waving goodbye to me. I waved back with a bright smile on my face which quickly faded when she turned the corner, my arm falling limp by my side.

I simply stared at the end of the corridor, considering walking away. He would not take kindly to that and I knew that there would be an unpleasant punishment in store if I chose to do so. I opened the library door and stepped through, shutting it behind me.

There was no librarian behind the desk and amongst the various bookcases, all dark wood I noted, I could see no students. I partly suspected that he knew it would be quiet and had chosen it for this reason.

‘He’ll probably drain you of blood.’

‘Sounds about right.’ I stepped forward, walking towards the science section. As I anticipated, he was there with a book open in his hands reading silently. He did not acknowledge me as he turned a page, and I did not clear my throat to let him know that I was there. I turned my head to the bookcase behind him and saw that they were Psychology books. ‘Oo, my schtick.’

I went over the names of the books finding none that I recognised but stopping at one in particular.

‘Of course, you’re drawn to the one about serial killers.’

‘Can you blame me?’ I was just about to pull it out when I heard the book shut behind me.

“Your choice in companions is interesting.”

“I used to read to her in school. She was one of the few girls that tolerated me.” I pulled out the book, opening it up so I could see what the contents were.

“I suggest you stop talking to her.”

“I acknowledge your suggestion.” I remarked. My arm was snatched, and I was twisted sharply around to face him. There was certainly anger on his face this time. I had offended him, as I was certain I would.

“Perhaps I should rephrase my statement. I am ordering you to cease conversation with her.”

‘Time to make him even angrier.’ Cordelia said, and I could hear her chuckle. She was delighting in my torment.

“That would be incredibly suspicious, rude, indecent and she would know immediately that you were involved because this rejection would come directly after I had a conversation with you.”

“You seem to be under the impression that I care what she thinks of me.”

“You seem to be under the impression that she would not spread word fast and that would soil your reputation.”

‘Yup, just keep sassing him, I’m certain this will end well for you.’

‘In for a penny in for a pound.’

“I will take whatever punishment you deem necessary for talking back to you, but I will not leave Sakura because you order it of me. If I leave her, it is of my own accord.” I did not take any joy in the fact that his cold expression turned into a grin.

“Perhaps I will encourage my brothers to deal with her.” I considered what to say. I did not let my thoughts show on my face, remaining silent. I knew how to kill a vampire, but the issue would be in having them drop their guard long enough for me to get back at them.

“Then I will tell everyone where she was last seen. Enough questions are asked, and word will spread.”

“You seem confident.”

“I know you can buy off police and reporters, but you can’t buy the people and when they believe something they will continue to believe it even if the authorities tell them there’s nothing worth noting.” There was a huff that escaped him, and I wondered whether he was genuinely amused.

“You are determined on this matter. Very well, I shall allow you this single privilege, but you will be properly disciplined and will face the appropriate punishment for improper behaviour.”

‘And cornering a young girl in a library and threatening to cut her off from her only friend is proper behaviour?’

‘The hilarious twist would be he was jealous.’

‘Of me or of Sakura?’

‘Both. He’s so emotionally restricted that just seeing people friendly makes him want to look at the mirror and cry.’

‘Brutal, but probably true.’

He ended up taking three books with him, and I took the book on serial killers. He glanced at it, almost wanting to say something, before turning away. He was likely going to say that my interests were improper and hardly useful for a lady. Part of me hoped that he would be nervous that I would use the information to read him. He had no idea I already knew how he ticked.

I do not remember much of the rest of classes. Sakura was relatively quiet all things considered but she still took no notes and I thought of why she chose to openly rebel in class. She used to be a relatively decent student even if she could never sit still for long, and part of me wanted to ask. I decided against it, focusing on my own notes.

“So, have you decided on what club to join?” She asked towards the end of class, leaning slightly on me.

“If there’s a Psychology club I’ll be interested in it.”

“Huh. Don’t think we do actually.” I did sulk a little bit at that, puffing out my cheeks. “But I am a part of the Paranormal club if you want to join.”

Considering the fact that I lived with vampires, I thought it almost amusing and clicked my pen off, putting it in the pencil case.

“I will do a trial run, if that is okay?”

“Yeah! They’ll love you!” I could practically feel Reiji’s disapproving stare as I was pulled from my seat.

Truthfully, like all clubs, it was more a gathering of friends than an actual club. They had a small room of their own and the table was scattered with various snacks. There were only four other members, an equal balance of boys and girls, and when I came in with Sakura they were all very enthusiastic. One of the boys quickly grabbed another chair and set it down at the front where I took my seat.

“Guys, this is Yui, she’s an old friend of mine from school. She’s super smart and is wanting to do a test run of the club.”

“Hello everyone. I am here to challenge a ghost to tear out my spine.”

“Okay, I already like her.” Said the other boy who was incredibly tall with light brown hair. “I’m Keichiro, it’s nice to meet you.” I shook his hand across the table.

“I’m Jun, that’s Michiko, and that’s Fumiko. I’m the leader of this club. I’m glad to see you wanted to give us a shot.”

“I am always willing to try something new.”

They asked me an assortment of questions, trying to get to know me a bit more, and I did my best to answer in a way that was not too suspicious. I was asked my opinion on certain creatures and I answered honestly. I told them I believed in ghosts, demons, and vampires, and though I was not certain about other things if I was provided evidence on their existence then I would not deny it.

“I do not believe in anything without evidence, and at the same time if I am provided evidence of that thing existing then I will believe in it no matter how obscure it may be.”

“That’s a good philosophy to have. A critical eye is a good thing.” Jun remarked at my statement.

“Thank you.”

“Well, if you’re up for it, we have a place we’re going to check out for ghosts not too far away from here we’re doing next weekend.”

“I cannot generally do stuff at the weekend, but I will see if I can get permission.”

Sakura ended up walking with me back to the car. She was strangely quiet as she walked, and I could not help but be curious although I did not say anything in case she decided to cover it up. I would wait for her to speak in her own time and, just as predicted, she did.

“So, you have to get permission to do things from the family?”

“That is correct.”

“Huh.” I stopped walking, looking around. I knew it was very likely that they would hear me if I spoke, and I had to tread very carefully in what I said. I could not say anything that would draw suspicion or do anything that would raise eyebrows, or they would investigate.

‘Perhaps I can use Sakura to my advantage.’ They would monitor my behaviour and I was under constant surveillance, so I knew for a fact that I would not be able to gather the necessary information needed to get away from them, but Sakura could do all the hard work for me. ‘I just need to get her to realise the circumstances without them knowing…’

“I will see you tomorrow.”

“You take care.” I smiled, a plan beginning to form in my mind.

I was quiet in the car as I began to formulate a plan. I had learned many ways to send a message across in the past and had taken it on as a sort of hobby amongst friends with coded messages going from one day to the other without any hesitation.

“I do hope you do not intend to join the Paranormal club at school.” Reiji said as the car drove off.

“They want me to be involved in an investigation next weekend. I intend to take part and decide, then, that it is not something I am particularly interested in.” I did not look at him as I responded, noting the changing scenery.

“Oi, why would you want to do something like that? You’ve got enough vampires here. You trying to get more?” Ayato made it sound almost suggestive.

“An old school friend wanted me to join.”

“Yes, she certainly has some interesting opinions.” Although he did not say it out loud, it was obvious by his tone of voice that Reiji found Sakura deplorable in every manner. “I will attend this… event with you to assure that you do not behave poorly.”

‘What he does not realise is just how destructive I am on such investigations.’

‘Your nature as a Scot, I suppose.’

Reiji did not waste much time in ensuring that my earlier behaviour was dealt with. I was quickly ordered to change out of my uniform and go into the shared bathroom and wait for him. I glanced around the room and wondered what method of punishment would come in store. I observed the cut-throat razor and the shower head and thought them both very appropriate tools of torment.

When Reiji came in, he filled the sink with water and added Epsom salts.

“Put your hands in the sink and I will be back in thirty minutes.” I did as I was told.

‘I think I know what he’s going to do.’

‘Dare to share with the class.’

‘Calloused hands.’

‘He did mention that before.’ Even before I became Yui I had quite tough hands, both from working out and from years of archaeological work which had hardened my skin against the tedious effort of constantly digging in the dirt, the tools rubbing against the base of my hands and fingers until they bled violently; and then became too tough to bleed.

‘Fucker is going to give me silky smooth hands, but he’s going to make sure I feel it.’

I wondered if it was possible to fall asleep with open eyes and thought it must be since I had heard many characters had done it in the past. I certainly thought I had done it because I almost jolted when the door had opened again, and Reiji came in with what I recognised to be a Pumice stone along with other tools.

‘I’m getting flashbacks to the one time I got my nails done.’

‘Elaborate.’

“You may remove your hands. Sit down on the side of the bath tub.” I did as I was told, and he took a towel, gently drying my hands.

‘The person that tended to my nails pushed the cuticles too far back and cut too deep which meant that when alcohol was applied I could feel it stinging throughout the entire procedure.’

‘Did you get your money back?’

‘I was too polite to complain, she was young and new to the job.’

He was not necessarily rough to start with and seemed to be taking his time. It was a bizarre sight having him knelt down in front of me and the more absurd part of my brain almost saw it like proposing, or perhaps like Jesus washing the feet of his disciples, but I knew that there would be pain soon enough.

He rubbed at the skin until it came off in unpleasant thick layers and I had to hold back the urge to cringe at the sight. Even as the skin came off he kept rubbing and I was beginning to feel it. It was warm, at first, but started to sting. The rough texture of the Pumice stone against sensitive, new flesh forced me to clench my teeth to prevent him from gaining satisfaction in my discomfort, although when he glanced up he must have observed how stiff my jaw was because I caught a glimmer of a smile then.

‘I hope you choke on your Carbonara spaghetti.’ The skin was torn open by the continuous procedure and I could feel where it had been torn even when there was no blood. He unscrewed the lotion bottle and began to rub the lotion into my hands, the stinging spreading all across my hands. It was like being struck by nettles several times over and I sharply inhaled but made no other sounds.

Without another word, he went to my nails and, similar to my story, proceeded to push the skin too far back and cut too close so my fingers began to bleed. The alcohol rubbed over the fingers was painful, but I made no noise. I could grit through this.

He finished in silence, wrapping my hands in the towel to dry them before pulling away.

“Do ensure that your hands are properly maintained in the future.” He stood up, staring down at me for a moment. “Now, if you will follow me I will issue the necessary punishment.”

‘Son of a whore.’ I thought bitterly, but of course he would take his actions as a privilege rather than a punishment.

He did not attack my hands though they were sensitive but, when he took me to his room, he did give them a glance before seemingly dismissing the idea.

“It seems as though I have been too lenient with you and must improve the appropriate level of discipline, so you know how to behave.”

‘This kinky motherfucker is looking for any excuse to touch wood or leather.’

‘Sounds like a vice.’

“Remove your shirt and place it on the chair over there.” I hesitated. I did not like being exposed in any sense of the word, preferring to conceal my appearance even as Yui. I was always aware of the judgemental stares of others and what things they would have to say regarding my appearance. “You have wasted enough of my night as it is, I would not suggest delaying this any further lest I decide to extend the punishment.”

‘As if you have anything better to do with your time.’ I quietly unbuttoned my shirt, pulling it off and setting it down on the chair he had pointed at. Due to my complete lack of figure I seldom bothered with a bra in the past but felt it to be necessary protection here in the Sakamaki household.

“And that as well.” If he was at all embarrassed as I removed it and set it down, he did not show it. I refused to show shame in front of him either, leaving my arms at my side as I stood there. He glanced me over, observing my exposed ribs, my slightly hollowed hips, and my arms too thin. “Have you no shame for your appearance at all.”

“I look like a twelve-year-old boy, there is nothing to be ashamed of.” I stated plainly in a manner as though he was the one that should be embarrassed. He simply adjusted his glasses.

“Turn your back to me.” I turned slowly. He must have seen some of the scars on my back. A few too many unpleasant falls whilst on the run did not leave my back entirely unmarred, and I wondered if he was disappointed that I had beaten him to the process of maiming myself. “I see you have done yourself injury in the past.”

“I have fallen from several heights.”

I listened to him go back into that drawer where his tools of the trade where. I had not gone in, though it was tempting, but I knew that a cane would not be the only thing in there. He probably had a riding crop at least.

“Ten lashes should be efficient.” I did not respond, preparing myself for the strike.

He took his time in making me wait, and I knew he was waiting to feel the fear from me. To hear my heart beat wild and my breathing rapid. To hear me beg or cry or shake. I would give him none of it. I let out a single, steady breath.

‘I can take it for you.’ Before I could answer the first strike came. It cut through my breathing, a sharp crack as the whip slashed through flesh. I bit my yelp before it could break free, sucking air through my nose fiercely. I could endure this. I had only nine more to go.

A new part of the back was whipped, the sting spreading across the upper part. I tried to focus on my breathing. I remained ridged, daring not to stumble though the urge to pull away was stronger than ever before. I would not show more weakness than I needed to. I would not cave in.

The third strike partly struck across my arm and my arm unconsciously pulled away.

“Keep your arms at your sides.” He ordered, and I could hear the anticipation in his voice. Though I was doing my best to keep my mouth shut, he was delighting even in my muted responses, perhaps because they were muted. I did as I was told.

The fourth strike hit the nape of my neck and my shoulders tensed at the sensation. Though it was not necessarily sensitive, it was difficult to immunise the nape of the neck to pain. He must have recognised this as the fifth strike also hit at the nape of the neck. I did not tense my shoulders the sixth time, keeping them perfectly straight. The seventh strike returned to the lower part of my back, the eighth to my right hip, the ninth to my mid-back, and the tenth briefly scrapped across my shoulder.

I did not turn around although the punishment was dealt with. I waited for him to speak.

“You may put your clothes back on.” I still did not turn though I was tempted to see what kind of expression was on his face as I put on my bra and shirt. I buttoned up the shirt, tucking it into my trousers before finally turning back around.

‘I knew he was a pervert, but this is ridiculous.’ There was a faint flush on his face and the pupils were dilated, dulling the glow of his eyes. Though I had given him very little I had clearly excited him, and he was doing his best to cover it up. I would have mocked him if I was a masochist.

“Come here.” I moved forward, saying nothing but watching his face. “Do not struggle.”

I did not. He leaned forward and pierced my neck and I did not fight. There was something altogether sickening about the slight noise that had escaped his mouth that almost pushed me to it. I had never had interest in the sexual in the past, the mere concept of intimacy unsettling to me. I had been told, on many occasions, that it was simply because I was not used to it and as Yui I had even less experience with such things; it made me visibly uncomfortable and found myself more relieved when he stopped being near me, finally pulling away. No blood dripped from his mouth this time.

“You may leave.” I did not hesitate, shutting the door behind me.

Laito was in the room already, doing what I assumed to be a crossword.

“Are you ever going to knock?”

“I did.”

“Right.” I walked to my desk, pulling the chair back and taking out the book I had taken from the library. I had decided to ignore him as I read, but once I had settled into reading the book he moved behind me, setting his hands on my shoulders.

“Have you considered my proposal?”

“I did not need to. I am simply not interested in such things.”

“Every girl is interested in some form.” He whispered into my ear. I did not express my discomfort though I wanted to pull away with all of my might.

“I am not.”

“So cold, little bitch.”

“May I offer you a high five in this trying time?” I responded sarcastically, and he seemed to have found it funny.

“I can assure you I’m good company.”

“I am not doubting that, I am simply not interested in what you are offering.” He said nothing for a moment, retreating his hands from my shoulders. I still did not let my guard down, and it was a good thing I did not for he quickly pushed me down so my upper body was pressed against the desk.

“It would be very clever of you, little bitch, if you considered my offer more carefully.”

“Thinking on it. The answer is the same.” I knew I was putting myself in a great deal of danger by provoking Laito. He was by far one of the sharpest when it came to manipulation, and I was not sure if I would be able to outsmart him. There was a fine difference between knowing you were being manipulated and knowing how to deal with that manipulation without being harmed.

“You’re being exceptionally rude here, little bitch.”

“Considering the circumstances, I am being a delight.” I could hear him sigh. I thought about what he intended to do to punish me and thought that it was very likely he would rape me. He had done it before, I thought, and would not hesitate to do it again simply because I was the temporary pet of Reiji. If he wanted something from me, he would certainly get it.

‘Might be needing your help again, Cordelia.’ I mused as he let me go, pulling me up from the chair. He had the nerve to lift me like a princess, as though he were about to do something romantic. I thought I would rather see him die of a heart attack then but realised that his heart was not beating so such a thing would not be possible. ‘On a weird note, how can a vampire get an erection without any blood pumping through their veins?’

‘You’re thinking that now? As he’s considering how to best molest you?’

‘I’m separating myself from the situation.’ I did my best to ignore him, turning my eyes and my face away even as he lifted my leg, feeling his face against my thigh. I was very glad to have been wearing trousers in that moment.

“You’re so frigid I cannot help but wonder if you get excited over anything.”

“Dogs are pretty great.” I responded. “And solving a good mystery. I’ve always wanted to travel the world without being hunted, I suppose.”

He laughed, of course he laughed. My comments were absurd to him, so entirely separate from the situation. I thought about whether Reiji was listening in on the conversation and was thinking about whether he should bother to deal with Laito’s behaviour or if he thought it would whip me into shape. The fact that he was doing nothing was more disappointing than the situation itself as he reached for the belt.

“I’ll promise you, you’ll find great pleasure in this.” The belt was removed but I did not show any urges to struggle. Whether he took this as consent or not did not matter to me as I was already drifting away from the situation. I was thinking of what we would be having for dinner.

‘Now.’ Cordelia raised my arms for me, pressing them against his chest.

“That’s not how you wrap your arms around a man, little bitch.” She gave a great shove, and he stumbled off easily. Somewhat sluggishly, I sat up and buckled my belt back in place. My resistance only seemed to excite him further as a somewhat wild expression appeared on his face. Seemingly nothing would dissuade him as he was quickly back upon me. “So, it seems that you’re even feistier than I thought.”

The punch that came was stronger than a human punch and I knew it as well as he did because he looked like he was beginning to bruise already. If he was angry before, he was furious now.

“I said I was not interested, and if you do not want to go to school looking like you got into a fight with Mr Subaru I suggest you stop.”

“Testy little bitch.” It did not come across as a nickname this time. I had certainly challenged him in that moment as he only crept closer when there was a heavy thudding against the door.

“Oi, titless, dinner’s ready get down here already!” There was a long moment of staring between me and Laito, a challenge from one to the other on what to do next. Laito caved first.

“We’ll have to continue this another time, little bitch.” He had the nerve to sound disappointed as he retreated, disappearing once he reached the end of the bed. I hoped to high hell that the bruise remained for the rest of the week but knowing how quickly vampires recovered it would not even last to the end of the night.

I had taken too long as Ayato barged into the room demanding to know why I was taking so long. He found me sitting on the bed clutching my fist and staring at nothing in particular.

“Oi, titless, are you deaf?” I unclenched my fist. This was neither the place nor the time to have a breakdown, no matter how terribly I wanted it. I would bury the feeling away until I was safe, forcing my face into a neutral expression once more.

“I am fine.” I lied through my teeth. I had been too close, and would have to ask for help to keep Laito away in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, that last part was difficult to write but suppression and repression are some useful tools.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yui adapts.

CHAPTER FIVE

“Ha! You’re looking uglier than usual!” Subaru had stated upon seeing Laito’s face when he appeared in the dining room a short time after myself and Ayato sat down. I took a disturbed smug delight in the fact that his face looked slightly swollen, the purple spreading all across his cheek and causing his eye to be slightly narrowed.

If there was one thing I could determine almost immediately upon seeing him, it was that he was furious. He made no comments back, sitting next to Kanato opposite me. You could practically feel the anger radiating from him, and I swore I could taste its acid as I ate. He spent most of the meal staring me down, as though trying to pick me apart. A sickened part of my mind almost wished I had let him do what he wanted if only to cease such a hated glare, but I buried that thought for I knew that even if I offered it to him now he would not forget what I had done.

Laito did not forget when he was treated ill, and he was letting me know that.

Reiji cleared his throat.

“I feel like I should clarify in order to remind certain individuals here. Yui is my property and any damage done to her will result in punishment to the perpetrator. And I can assure you I will know when there has been damage.” Laito did not smile or have any comments to say back. He simply stared.

It was a quiet meal for Laito’s lack of encouragement of fighting, and the tension was thicker than ever. I could reach out with my knife and cut through it like butter. I was half tempted to try it if only to see if it would separate the discomfort from myself.

“However, it is also important for Yui to be aware of her position in this household, and thus I will allow Laito to issue an appropriate punishment for her behaviour. Under my supervision, of course.”

“Hey, Teddy, should we go and see as well?”

When the meal was over I was taken to the basement where I knew the prison to be. It was also the place where I knew the torture chamber to be. I could smell it in the air, the stench of blood, and could imagine how many girls were tormented in here, many whom did not return. I could taste the fear and the despair in the air, could hear their cries of mercy and knew that the methods used to silence such girls would be extreme for the boys sick amusement.

I was putting myself in a trance, trying to empty my thoughts as I entered one of the cold, rancid jail cells. I could see only a bucket in the corner, which was empty, but on the wall, I could see various objects of torment. I could recognise some of the tools immediately and felt sick looking at them.

‘Dear god they actually have the Pear of Anguish.’ Laito’s hand hovered over it before he retreated his hand. Perhaps he thought that it would not go too well if I bled to death before school tomorrow.

“Strip.” He instructed. I considered rebelling. Both he, Reiji, and Kanato were staring at me with interested eyes, and that alone was disturbing.

‘Seems they want me to be ashamed of my body.’

‘Most girls are.’ I took my time if only to annoy, dropping the clothes carelessly on the ground until I was in just my underwear.

“All of it.” He was not in a playful mood, but I did notice the disturbed blush on his face.

“She looks so fragile, Teddy. Like a canary.” I removed the underwear and set it down, looking at nothing in particular. If I showed signs of embarrassment here it would only excite him further, but even my cold disinterest seemed to excite as he walked over and took me by the hand.

“Let’s go to the next room.”

‘Oh no.’

‘Oh no?’

‘That’s where the table is.’ I was afraid to ask what the table was as he pulled me towards the next room. He seemed to have improved in mood and that only made me nervous. I knew that whatever he had in store it would be horrible and as we entered the next cell I could see the table that Cordelia had spoken about.

It was more of a slab than anything else. A horrible metal thing with blood splatters visible on the stone ground underneath. I imagined that they did not let blood remain on the table only because it would mean the table rusted.

“Lie down on the table.” I did so, keeping my hands at my sides.

I vaguely recalled, in my mind, a particular torture method as he made drew his icy fingers down my neck, along my rib cage and down to my stomach, letting them linger there before pressing his whole hand down. It was used during the witch trials, I remembered, to force confessions out of them. They would be laid down on a slab, much like this one, and slowly weights would be applied to their chest to crush their ribs until they confessed.

I remembered the story of one woman who refused to confess and instead declared ‘more weights’ before she was crushed to death.

I thought of this as he leaned forward with that glow on his face.

“We could end your torment now if you listen to what I have to say.” I tilted my head, lifting my ear towards him instead of speaking. I did not trust my tongue to speak for me. He took his time, as he so often did, as he whispered into my ear. “Kiss it better.”

‘Ew.’

‘Nasty boy.’ I did so anyway.

“Isn’t she just terrible, Teddy?”

“There was just nothing in that. I don’t feel better at all. Come on, give it a little passion.”

“I told you before, I simply do not have those urges.” I responded blankly.

“Give it another shot, and I may postpone your torment.” I sighed, the ridiculousness of the situation showing in my slight frustration. It was probably the most expressive I had been around so many of them in a long while.

‘I’ll show him passion.’

‘Don’t.’

“How do I mock passion?” I asked, not liking Cordelia’s thought process. She would only get me into deeper trouble if she became involved now.

“Oh, dear you were serious in saying you’ve never experienced this before.” He seemed genuinely surprised. “It’s like teaching a child.”

“Compared to you I’m an infant.” I should have kept my mouth shut, but if he was insulted he did not show it.

“Well, first you draw your hand under their chin.” He guided my hand to his chin. “And move it along the jaw.”

I knew how to kiss with passion, not for my own experience but for the simple fact that I had seen enough romance movies to duplicate it. Still, I thought it a good idea to play the fool under the vague hope that perhaps he would be too distracted by the process of seduction to inflict a genuine punishment. It was foolish, but I hoped anyway.

“Remember to maintain eye contact and then… kiss.” I did so and watched as he sighed. “This is truly tragic, there’s no excitement in your eyes at all.”

“I did say.”

“Lie down, lie down, I’m afraid I’ll have to issue the punishment now.”

I noticed the pipe above me and listened to a squeaking noise as something was turned.

‘Oh, I know this one.’ I thought grimly. It was the water method. In no time, water dripped onto my forehead, a gentle splash as it struck flesh. I almost blinked but kept my eyes open.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

The purpose of this torture method was to drive the person slowly insane. I vaguely recalled Mythbusters trying the technique, but only four people were involved in the project and it did not work when the person was not restrained.

“If you move away you will receive ten lashes for each attempt to escape.” Reiji finally said.

‘Two consecutive days without sleep, huh.’ I did not know how long they would apply the method, focusing on my world of daydreams as I was rested there.

I was more annoyed about the cold in the room than I was about the torture method. I was not responding the way they wanted, I was certain, as Kanato could be heard murmuring to himself in the corner. Despite the quiet of the room, I could not hear him. Perhaps it was only because my eyes twitched with each drip that I heard Laito go to the opposite side of the room, the squeaking of the valve muting the steady process of water falling on me.

“We’ll just have to leave you alone in here tonight, little bitch.”

“I’m going to stay with her.” Kanato spoke up, which confused me more than anything. They did not protest, though, as I lifted myself from the table.

I was not given an opportunity to wear clothes, expected to sleep in the cold cell naked. It was not so cold that I would freeze to death, but it was cold enough to be uncomfortable. Having been born in a much colder environment, I knew I would be able to endure it.

‘It’s almost like I’m back in the forest.’ I thought grimly as I laid down on the floor. I could feel Kanato’s piercing stare watch as I drew my legs up and rested my arms against the ground.

“You aren’t going to beg that I free you?”

“Would you let me?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“On what I get in return.” I glanced up at him, briefly, as he knelt before me. There was no glee in his eyes. There was nothing at all. He was very much like the dolls he enjoyed the company of.

“What would you want?”

“Blood.” I was not surprised.

“That is fair.” I got up and he reached out for me. For a moment, he was tender. He ran his hand through my hair and I thought he would perhaps pull it, but instead he twirled the ends of my hair, tugging at them until they bounced in place.

“Follow me.” He opened the cell door with no struggle which made me wonder whether it had been locked at all. I went to gather my clothes, but he stopped me. “I never said you were to get changed.”

There was a distinct discomfort from walking through the mansion naked. There was a tugging feeling of embarrassment though nobody was there to see, although I was certain that he wanted someone to see if only to humiliate me further. The irritation on his face when he turned to face me made this apparent as we reached my bedroom door. He pushed me in and followed after, slamming the door behind him.

‘Alone with the feral child.’ I thought to myself, going into the wardrobe in pursuit of underwear and a nightgown.

“Don’t ignore me.” I was quick to pull the clothes on, before turning to him. I could not tell if he was frustrated or upset as he walked towards me. He lifted my hand to his lips and bit down. I noticed, in that moment, that not only were his fangs smaller than the others, but they were blunter. With the skin on my hands still tender from Reiji’s earlier treatment I had to bit back the urge to wince as I heard the crunch of the flesh. He lapped up the blood and part of me thought of a hungry kitten as he did so.

‘It’s very strange imagining that he’s older than twelve.’

“You really would make for a perfect doll. You don’t complain and you’re always quiet.” He remarked gently. I knew that I did not want to become one of his dolls. I also knew that unless the others were to stop him, that was just as likely to be my fate. “And such delicate features. I especially love your eyes.”

He reached out, drawing his hand along the hollow of my cheek resting his hand just underneath my eye. There was a bizarre look on his face that I could only describe as loving, though I had enough common sense to know that there was nothing loving about the gesture.

“Perhaps a touch too thin right now. You need a few months of food first.” He pulled away. “I should begin preparing right away. You will need the perfect dress.” He ran his hands through my hair, pressing close. “Purple or red?”

“Mr Reiji might take offense to you damaging his property.”

“You would consider this damage?” He sounded offended.

“He might.”

“You’re so much better when you don’t speak. Perhaps I’ll stitch your mouth shut.” He seemed to consider it for a moment, before deciding to withdraw instead. “But then how could you scream in agony without a mouth?”

‘You’ll never hear me scream.’ I did not say it, but the glint in his eyes showed that I looked it. Then he laughed.

“I think I like that expression on your face as well. You should be more expressive, Yui, it’s far more exciting than your dull face.”

‘That’s why I keep it straight.’ I forced my face to be composed once more as he walked away. Unlike Laito, he actually went through the process of leaving through the door rather than choosing to disappear into thin air. I listened for his muted footsteps to disappear down the hallway, surprised that I did not hear his bedroom door open, before letting out a sigh.

“I need a vacation.” I walked over to the desk and pulled out one of my notebooks. Carefully, I peeled one of the pages away from the pad and began to write my message down in it. It would be the only direct message I would give; the rest would have to be coded so as to not be suspicious. I folded it into quarters and put it into the book on serial killers I had just been reading. I had finished it already, and put the page into page forty-two, shutting the book firmly. I carefully put the book back into my school bag and closed the lid over it.

I spent the whole day dreading that one of the boys would realise what I had done and would open the book. That the page would spill out and they would read the entire thing. That they would kill Sakura and I would be left stranded in this desert island without any hope of breaking free.

When night came once more I found the bag undisturbed. I was still in doubt, however, and remained cautious as I changed into my uniform. As was often the case, when I came down Reiji corrected the ribbons on my uniform stating that they were lopsided and that he would train me on how to properly tie a ribbon in the future.

They had nothing to say on the fact that I had left my punishment early, which I thought to be exceptionally unusual. As a result, I was on edge the entire car journey. Sakura was glad to see me and instantly began to talk. There was still time before class, so I pulled out the book.

“This was an interesting read, I think you’ll enjoy it. Page forty-two had some… disturbing insights into the minds of some killers though. I wouldn’t recommend reading it in school, though, you might find yourself cringing.”

“I’ll make sure to read it the moment I get home.” She said with enthusiasm, and I prayed that she did. I knew Reiji was watching, but he did not seem to suspect anything for the time being or, at least, when I turned my head back to look at the other students coming in he did not have a thoughtful expression on his face.

I did not panic when class ended, and Reiji insisted with a coldness about him that I come with him. I waved Sakura goodbye and followed him to the canteen. I ordered food as he ordered food and observed with a vague bafflement as he ate. It was bizarre seeing him do things that a human did knowing full well that he had no actual need to do so, and it was just as obscure as the fact that he was choosing canteen food over his own food.

‘Still eats like a posh totty, though.’ I was sat opposite him the entire time and we did not speak to one another. The quiet only lasted so long as his brothers began to appear around him. Laito was to my left and Kanato was to my right. Ayato pushed onto Reiji’s left and Subaru sulked in place. Shu was nowhere to be seen and I wondered which classroom he had fallen asleep in.

Laito was unsettlingly intent on watching me eat. I wonder if how humans processed food fascinated him in some manner, or if he was doing it specifically to see if it would unsettle me. In normal circumstances, and had I been myself, it would have done so. However, because I knew he wanted a reaction out of me I did not respond until he prodded at my cheek.

“How about some for me, little bitch?”

“Hmm…” I ate the spoonful. “Too good for you.”

“So cruel, and after I’ve been so gener-,” Before he could finish his sentence I shoved the fork of food into his mouth. I was hoping he would choke on it, but instead the most hideously lewd noise escaped his lips as I drew the fork away, trying to hide the disgust that was certainly beginning to creep on my face. “You know just how to treat me, little bitch.”

‘What is this guy made out of? Rubber?’ I wiped the fork clean with a napkin, hoping to remove all traces of him. Plus, I knew it would be perceived as an indirect kiss if I did not clean it to perfection, even though I knew that he would still find a way to believe it true. I could tell by the smug expression on his face when I picked up the next mouthful.

“Perhaps one day you’ll give me those precious lips of yours.” I ignored him and ate whilst staring at the meal.

They talked amongst themselves, nothing of note being said though I listened carefully. I thought to myself that they would not speak of important things while I was there, and that they were purposefully filtering their conversation, so I would not know what was going on just as I would filter my conversations around them and deceive them in the future.

‘Or that’s what I’m hoping for.’

“Yo guys, I’m stealing Yui for a moment.” I jolted when Sakura’s voice cut through the canteen, pulling at my shoulder with an urgency in her.

“What is wrong, Sakura?”

“Just some club stuff. Don’t want to keep you behind after school.”

“Right.” I got up, bowing to the brothers before making my escape. Sakura pulled me onwards with a determination that seemed out of place, and I could not see her face clearly although I could see urgency in it.

“I read page forty-two of that book you suggested. You were right, some criminals are really twisted.”

“I told you to wait until you get home. That stuff can make your skin crawl.” I was unsettled by the fact that she had done something so brazen in school. What if a familiar had caught onto something and had read over her shoulder? I was certain that we were being observed right now, there was no way that we were not.

“If it were not a library book I would have torn up the entire page and thrown it into the bin.” I let out a steady sigh, knowing that she had dealt with the page. “Into tiny pieces.”

“Yeah, it will do that to you sometimes.”

“I showed some friends as well. Don’t worry, it won’t get around. They are sworn to secrecy.” The horror must have shown on my face. She waved a hand almost too dismissfully for my liking. “Don’t worry, it’s just the Paranormal club. They like this sort of thing.”

With that, she pulled the door open to the club and shut it behind her, marching to her seat and sitting down. Anticipation was clear in the room, the fear that I have been feeling reflecting off the group tenfold. I had not been wanting so many people involved, but it seemed as though Sakura had entirely different intentions than I. I had almost wished that I had said nothing, because now there were too many lives in danger. Not only the lives of the students themselves but all of their friends and family.

“You have interesting taste, I won’t lie about that.” Jun stated as he handed me a cup of green tea. It was neither too hot nor too cold. “I’m shocked that things like that are allowed to continue today.”

“Well, you know what they say… money buys more than clothes.” He nodded, agreeing. I could feel a nervous twitch taking hold of me. The stroking of my thumb against the cup and the urge to rock back and forth on the seat almost overwhelming.

“I’m personally happy to help in any way to stop crimes like that from happening. It’s just… ugh.” Michiko commented, looking slightly sick. “The things that the one killer did to all those girls…”

“He chose who he knew would not be missed. That was how he was allowed to get away with it for so long.” I shrugged. “So… about this thing during the weekend.”

“Yes?”

“Mr Reiji insists on joining us mostly, so he can convince me to leave.”

“Mr Strict, huh?”

“He does not enjoy when I am out of his watch.” I had warned them that there were cameras and audio everywhere that could be recording us even in that exact moment. It was why our conversations were very particular and they took it all in stride.

Even in the past I did not think teenagers to be exceptionally gifted when it came to keeping secrets. Perhaps it was due to my own poor experiences, but I feared that word would get out faster than I wanted and dreaded the slightest slip up. However, with their own lives hanging over their heads they were sharper than ever, all the while trying to appear entirely innocent as though they were being recorded in that exact moment.

Jun had told me that they would go over all the modes of transport to the haunted location, and at the same time would attempt to get transport for my escape. Michiko suggested ways to monitor the ghosts themselves and concluded that she would use their own uniqueness against them. Fumiko made a comment on security and said that she would look into how to get under their radar, and Keichiro offered ways to distract security on the day if it came down to that.

A plan was forming when Sakura asked the question:

“How do we expose them to the public?”

“Well it’s clear that the usual lot won’t do.” Jun said after a moment, tapping his finger against the table. “We’ll have to use every news outlet we can get our hands on, and the internet as well. Expose them through any means necessary so they cannot possibly be ignored.”

It was a bold move, and one that made me nervous. I wanted to ask the question ‘what would they do about themselves’, but feared we were being listened to.

“And if the ghosts come after us as revenge we’ll be sure to be ready.” Keichiro stated firmly.

It had been a long time since I wanted to cry. I could feel my lip quiver, biting down on it as my nose began to tickle and my eyes began to water. I blinked rapidly, pushing the feeling down. It would do no good to react now, I could react when it was safe to do so. I had to conceal my emotions until it was safe to act freely.

Still, in that moment, I had never been happier to have such companionship. They did not need to help me, they could have turned their backs and chosen to live happy, ignorant lives. They could have left me to my torments and that would be the end of that.

When I left the room, Sakura came with me. Laito had been waiting outside the room. Being the sharpest member of the family, I dreaded his response. Did he know? Did he think to himself: ‘this one thinks they’re being clever, but they aren’t as smart as they think they are’. Was he laughing at my ignorance and concealing it behind his smile which seemed as sly as ever.

‘Reveal nothing.’ I kept my face composed as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

“If it isn’t my favourite little bitch! We’re waiting for you to return!”

“Yes, because the conversation is so thrilling with me there.” He giggled, and I hated it. Sakura called out to me.

“Hey, Yui?” I turned my head. “Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.”

I blinked, startled for a moment, before I let the smile slip onto my face.

“Oui, merci beaucoup.” I knew Laito spoke French, so he understood exactly what Sakura had said to me. If only he understood the reference.

“I did not know you spoke French, little bitch.”

“I spent a year in France.”

“Perhaps I’ll take you back if you’re good to me.” I carefully peeled his arm off my shoulders and walked on my own. He was always close behind. He only left once classes had started up again.

The night was spent quietly until Reiji entered my room of his own accord. He did not knock, probably seeing little point in my privacy, but I was still shocked to see him there perhaps because of the fact that it was one of the few times he had come to me instead of having me come to him. I stood up, carefully, clearing my expression of its shock.

“May I help you?” He did not respond immediately, seemingly observing my movements. I remained almost half poised for him to jump on me and tear out my throat.

It was then that I noticed how he seemed almost ruffled. Like a distressed pigeon, I thought, with the top two buttons of his shirt undone and his hair slightly untidy. He seemed on edge and not quite certain of where he was.

‘Uh oh, he’s finally snapped.’

‘I knew it was only a matter of time. His brothers cracked him like a chestnut.’ An unhinged genius was more dangerous than a hinged one and I could feel the urge to flee take hold of me when he walked up to me, steady like a hungry predator, until I was trapped between him and the desk. I did not flee, forcing my legs to remain firm, as he reached out to tug a strand of hair behind my ear.

‘What is with everyone’s obsession with touching my hair?’ As if hearing my thoughts, he drew away.

‘If I told you, you would cringe away right now.’

‘Dare you to tell me anyway.’

‘Okay but keep your face straight.’

“I see that the only way to turn you into a proper lady is to teach you myself. Lessons begin tomorrow after school. You will go immediately to my room. Do not be late or you will be punished.” I nodded, thinking it best to say nothing.

He seemed ready to leave then but changed his mind as he turned back towards me and bit at my neck. I did not have time to block out the squeak, not anticipating the move. He gained some sort of satisfaction out of that as a gloved hand reached back and pulled harshly at my hair, pulling my head back. He pulled away once he finished his meal and retreated to his room through the bathroom. I noticed a very faint stumble as he closed the door behind him.

‘So, what was that about?’

‘The hair is probably the most sensitive part of a vampire.’

‘So…’

‘So, he was turned on.’

I gagged, a shiver running up my spine. I rubbed my arms aggressively as Cordelia chuckled in my mind.

‘I cannot get over the fact that that was what unsettled you the most. Torture and potential rape do not faze you, but the fact that someone might be sexually attracted to you is repulsive. You are one strange girl.’

‘So sue me.’ The goose bumps passed over my arms as I retreated to the bed. Dawn was close, and I hoped to make up for the lack of sleep I had over the past few days. ‘Maybe I’ll even go into a coma.’

‘Fingers crossed.’ When I turned on my side to stare at the windows I thought to myself what Reiji was thinking in his brief moment of madness. Was he as repulsed by his thoughts as I was? At what point did he think to himself that I was something beyond a meal for him, and what had driven him to it? Or perhaps had he taken a drug that affected him in such a manner and he thought my presence would rid him of his lustful thoughts?

When I heard the shower turn on I resisted the urge to giggle, wondering whether it was a cold shower that he was bathing under in that moment. It would only be appropriate, as I doubted he would ever stoop so low as to be involved in more carnal activities if he could avoid it.

‘Always got to keep up that study dudy image.’

‘I bet he even sleeps on his back with his arms at his side with a three-piece suit on.’

I did giggle then. I almost hoped he heard me. I was certain he did, but he did not come in to accuse me though I did watch the bathroom door waiting for it. When the shower turned off and I heard the door to his room open, I finally shut my eyes and went to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading so far, I hope you enjoy this chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans begin to fall into place

CHAPTER SIX

I woke earlier than I thought I would, rising to see an orange sky as I stepped out into the balcony, the chill of the stones beneath my bare feet clashing with the last remnants of warmth that came with the sinking sun.

I rested my elbows against the balcony edge and took in the sight, knowing that it would be a pleasant day tomorrow and wishing that I had a chance to actually enjoy it.

‘If I skip anymore chances at sleep Reiji will notice.’

‘And he’s starting to figure out what you can tolerate.’

‘Which means he might actually find my weaknesses soon.’ I pulled away from the balcony, the glow of the sun against my back as I pulled out my clothes for the day. I did not hear Reiji moving around although I was certain that he was awake and if he was not already getting sorted then he would be soon enough.

It was not until I was out of the shower that he entered, and if he was surprised to see me up at such an hour he made no comment on it. I offered him a slight glance, observing how he looked like he had recovered from before. He purposefully did not look at me as he spoke.

“There are bags under your eyes once more. You stated that sleep would not be an issue. It is hardly appropriate to attempt to deceive me.”

“I have not had problems sleeping in the past.” I stated, noting in my reflection the purple bruises under my eyes. The issue with pale skin, and certainly skin as pale as mine, was that the slightest flaw stood out quite proudly and often times even makeup would not conceal it.

“I shall have no choice but to administer you a drug to ensure you get necessary sleep.”

“I do not sleep because Mr Laito unsettles me.” I said, squeezing the toothpaste onto my brush. “I simply cannot sleep knowing that he will break into my room and is quite eager to do things to me that I shall not mention out loud, but I am certain you understand what I am implying.”

He did not speak, and I thought that perhaps he was thinking that I should not provoke him if I did not want his attention. It was often the habit of the boys to try and blame the victim for their actions; a way of avoiding responsibility. In that sense, they were much like children and beyond my actual age I found it more and more difficult to perceive them as anything but broken, violent children.

‘But you thought that of adults even older than you in the past.’

‘Some people make it far too easy.’

“I shall see to it that he cannot enter your room without either your permission or mine.” It honestly surprised me. I only hesitated brushing my teeth for a moment, wondering why he would choose to do something that would benefit me.

A childish part of my mind thought that perhaps underneath all his bravado he was developing a particular softness for me, but I buried that thought before it could manifest onto the surface. As was the case with all things Reiji did there was a motive that would only benefit him, and I suspected it had something to do with his reputation as was always the case. It would only make sense that piece of property soiled by another brother would insult him personally because it would demonstrate his own sloppy nature which would drive him insane for the false illusion of perfection would shatter in an instant.

I was jolted into mild horror when he entered my bedroom after me. Still as rigid as a ruler and standing out in every sense of the word I was baffled by the procedure.

“May I help you?”

“I am simply ensuring that Laito does not intrude on you.” Though the barely concealed smirk told me what I dreaded.

‘He found your weak spot.’

‘Shit.’

He must have noticed how I hesitated in unchanging in the past and though I had done my best to conceal my distinct discomfort in being exposed in any sense of the word, he must have seen something and come to the right conclusion that I was entirely uncomfortable with my body.

Perhaps it was more out of pride than anything that I tried, still, to hide my discomfort. I was not going to strip like a harlot in front of him, but I did not ask him to turn around or try to hide myself away as much as I would like to. I sat upon the bed and took the thick black tights from the pile of clothes and pulled them on under my dressing gown. I purposefully chose thick tights both to keep my legs warm and because I had seen some of the boys in school lifting girls skirts as they saw fit. Although it had not happened yet, I wanted to be prepared just in case. I reached over for a pair of black shorts despite this.

“That is not a part of the uniform.”

“There are some boys that are harassing the girls. I would prefer to be prepared against such things.” A huff escaped his lips, but he did not say anything, so I continued on.

There was no real way to put on a bra without exposing my chest, so I kept turned away from him as I pulled the nightgown over my head, setting it down next to me as I put on the bra. Another sigh broke through the silence.

“You look half-starved. I can see your spine from here.”

‘Yeah yeah, rub it in why don’t you?’ I tried to ignore him as I pulled on a basic vest, tucking it into the shorts.

“If it were not for the fact that you had long hair, I would have mistaken you for a young boy by now.”

“I did disguise myself as one for some time. That is why my hair is a mess.”

“Yes, that is quite apparent.”

‘You try cutting your hair with a knife.’ I pulled on the white button-up blouse. The buttons were always so fiddley and there were so many of them that I was often frustrated with them. It did not help that my fingers fumbled, and when cold hands took the place of mine and began to button them up myself I could not help but feel a pang of humiliation.

“You are honestly like a toddler; you cannot even do up your shirt properly.” I knew he took a grim delight in my dislike of the situation. Without another word, he picked up the school skirt. “Surely you know how to step into a skirt.”

“I can do the rest on my own.”

“Poorly. You have wasted enough time as it is, now step inside.” I was half-tempted to tell him to choke but did as I was told. I tried to ignore the situation to the best of my ability, but the zipping of the zip on the side of my hip and the feeling of him buttoning it up brought red to my cheeks. I felt like the child he declared me to be and it was humiliating.

‘Not so easy to keep your face composed in these circumstances.’

‘You can die next.’

“Arms out.” The waistcoat was slid over my arms and pulled in tight. There was a slight tugging as the buttons were pushed through the button holes before he pressed down, brushing the folds out of the waistcoat. “It would be wise to pay attention to this part seeing as you are utterly incapable of tying a straight ribbon.”

I did look down but found myself observing him more than the actual process of tying a bow. It was strange how intent he was on the entire procedure, as though his entire life depended on it. I, of course understood why he had an obsession with perfection but there was a fine difference between seeing it on a screen and seeing it in real life. Seeing the way his eyebrows furrowed, his eye squinted, and just how irritated he seemed to become when it did not go according to plan. Like his entire world was dissolving, and this irritation showed when he undid the ribbon and did it again almost immediately. There was a flicker of genuine fury on his face and I thought to myself that it was a terribly sad life that he had that he had to be so attached to perfection.

He pulled the ribbon a bit harsher than I thought was necessary, the only indication that he was still upset, before pulling on the blazer, tugging at it so it was at the perfect angle; something that certainly would not last for very long. I paid attention to the ribbon when he tied it this time. It was bizarre seeing him without gloves on. Even in school he preferred to keep his hands concealed. I wondered if he had germaphobia.

“I do not.” He stated, causing me to stiffen. I did not think I had said it out loud.

“I was curious as to why you usually wear gloves.” I did not word it as a question because he likely would not answer. I thought he would not when he lifted his head to look directly at me.

“It is simply to prevent contamination.”

“From what?”

“Humans.”

‘Sounds like germaphobia to me.’

‘Or just straight up racism.’ It did, however, bring about the curious thought of him currently touching me with exposed hands. He stood to his full height, looming over me.

“I have spent enough time as it is. I must get prepared myself and prepare dinner.” He made a steady retreat, as though hesitant.

“Mr Reiji, thank you everything. I truly am grateful.” Even though I understood that he was doing it for his own sake, I felt it right to thank him anyway. I did not turn back to look at him, so I did not see his expression, but it was several moments later before I heard the door open and close.

‘I think he might be warming up to you.’

‘That is both a good and a bad thing.’

“God, titless, what the hell is that?”

“Coffee?” When Reiji was not in the kitchen I had made myself some, much deprived of the caffeine I had craved for most of my life. “Please tell me you know what coffee is or I might actually cry.”

“Of course, I know what coffee is!” He declared. “I didn’t know we had any.”

“To be honest, I am surprised as well. I would have thought that if Mr Reiji had not destroyed it then Mr Kanato might have.” I took a long sip, leaning slightly against the counter. I felt as though I had only a short time to drink it before one of the two mentioned brothers would storm in and declare me revolting. “Normally I do not drink it, but I need extra energy these days.”

“Thinking lewd thoughts?” When he leaned forward I pushed my hand into his face.

“Thinking of how to best frighten Mr Laito.”

“Thinking of me all night, little bitch? All you have to do is come to me and I’ll take care of your needs.”

“I am appropriately thinking of how to best keep you at bay and I think I have come to a conclusion.” I finished the rest of my coffee, cringing slightly at the heat as it ran down my throat.

“I’d love to hear.” I turned away, washing the coffee cup. He pinned me to the sink, but I did not let my discomfort show.

“I had this friend when I was in Scotland called Sorcha. She would sometimes break into abandoned buildings with me and would wander into the forest at night. She knew how to take down a man double her height and together we made quite the team.”

“Sounds like an interesting girl. Perhaps I’ll see her one day.”

“But she had one fear. I had tried to get her over it at one point in return for free food, but she simply could not conquer this fear. I thought to myself that it was a good thing she was not travelling the world with me because she would not be able to cope in the wilds with this crippling fear.” With his mouth on my ear he spoke again:

“And what was this fear?”

“Insects.” I turned my head to stare him in the eye. For a moment, he appeared frozen. I allowed myself a single victorious smirk.

‘Of course, he doesn’t know that you had a cheat code.’

“I happened to leave my balcony doors open last night and a few spiders came in. I do not know where they are right now, they could be anywhere.”

“Anywhere?” He did not seem as assured as he had been before, and I delighted in it.

“Could be in here for all I know.” The somewhat nervous look he offered around the room almost made me laugh. I had maintained a perfect poker face until he retreated, a grin cracking onto my face once he had left the room.

“Wow, titless, I think you actually scared him.”

“If he had not kept bothering me I would not have done it, but he is really putting me in a corner.” I managed a sigh as I dried the cup and put it away. I flinched when Ayato spoke next to my ear.

“I look forward to the day you finally crack.”

Of course, I thought. I could not make friends with the vampires, even when they appeared friendly I had to remember that each and every one of them was dangerous and took a disturbed delight in suffering. Though I thought I had become friends with Ayato, I had to remember that he was no different from his brothers. I had to remind myself that though Shu was sluggish he enjoyed suffering as the others did and had mostly likely just sat back and enjoyed the show as girls were slaughtered before him. I had to remember that though Subaru seemed decent now that he had also killed his fair share of girls and probably took great delight in it in the moment. That he may declare disgust afterwards that, for a single brief moment, there was a satisfaction found in the fact that he had taken another’s life.

I could not afford to see any of them as anything but the monsters that they were. I would have to remind myself of the countless girls and women that had been sent to the slaughter and how their lives were snuffed out like they were nothing. I had to remember that for hundreds of years there had been no mercy and for many years afterwards that would continue.

‘I cannot afford to think any of them have anything but malicious thoughts towards me.’ I could suggest that Reiji had a softness towards me, and that Ayato might consider me a friend, but that would not make it true. I had to brush aside any potential positives for my own sake. I would leave without a trace and expose them for the monsters that they were.

“Yui is looking upset, isn’t she Teddy?” My thoughts must have shown on my face for him to make such a comment. I briefly looked at the window to acknowledge him, nodding slightly.

“I am as well as I can be.”

“What a terrible liar you are.” He did not lunge at me, perhaps because Reiji was watching him. He was also observing me. Most of them were.

‘You’ve become so non-expressive that when you do show emotions they’re suspicious.’ I turned back to the window. Let them think whatever they saw fit, perhaps they thought I was finally beginning to crack under the pressure. Perhaps I was, but I would not shatter.

When I entered the classroom, Sakura was already there. She jolted up from her seat like a military soldier when she saw me and handed me the book I had given her earlier on along with a new book.

“I finished the whole thing. It was… wacky.” Reiji moved past us without a word, taking his seat behind me. The issue with him constantly sitting behind me was that he would see all of my interactions; it would not be so easy to pass messages along with him observing me. “This book’s interesting too, hopefully you’ll enjoy it. Chapter Seven gets pretty wild.”

I looked at the book and could not help the smirk that appeared on my face.

“Carmilla, really?”

“Everyone needs to read one book vampire book in their lifetime.” She declared proudly, but I knew it to be a message in its own right. “Plus, I want to see you drag the main character for trusting a vampire.”

“You know I will.” I put the book into my school bag and sat down. I would need the perfect opportunity to read the chapter as she suggested. I knew that I would be monitored in school just as easily as I would be at the house. It was with caution, as the class was about to begin, that I brought the bag to my lap and pulled out my notebook and pencil case. I pushed the pages of the book open and took out the slip of paper, slipping it into my school sleeve. When the opportunity struck I would go to the bathroom and read it in one of the stalls.

My opportunity came at lunch time. I told Sakura I would meet her on the roof later on, to which Reiji said he needed to meet me in one of the science rooms. She said she would talk to me after school ended before I needed to get into the car. I did not rush as I entered the bathroom, going into one of the stalls and shutting it behind me. Quickly, I pulled the piece of paper out from my sleeve. It was the location of a cache of money and what I would need to get out of the city. It was only one of many. Once I made my escape I would know where to go first.

‘Now I just need a date where I’m not being monitored.’ I would need to time it perfectly.

I knew Subaru had told me, on the day, when was the best time to escape in the game. I hoped he had enough heart to tell me then, but I would have to also risk finding out on my own. Keichiro was keeping an eye on Subaru, and Michiko was observing Ayato and Kanato. Laito had been suspended and was staying on the roof more often than not, and Shu was often asleep in various classrooms, although Fumiko noted that he jumped mostly between three classrooms.

At home I was also noting their schedules. Everyone had a pattern, a set way in which they did things, and the Sakamaki brothers were no different. It would take a while before I was able to nail it on the head, but once I had figured their schedule out I could find a way to work around it. I would know when it was broken and for what reasons, and when that opportunity struck I would pounce.

I tore the paper into pieces and put it into the sanitary bin before flushing the toilet and washing my hands. It was still early days into the plan and I was lacking fundamental ways of throwing them off my scent. With bloodhounds, the best way to deal with them was to get as far away as possible as quickly as possible and climb difficult terrain to throw them off, but these bloodhounds had endless energy and would not tire as the dog did.

‘So, I will have to paralysis their sense of smell.’ There were many ways to do that. There were always particularly potent smells that could almost knock out a human with their odour, but with a vampire who’s sense of smell was even stronger.

‘You could take out six.’ I knew that bloodhounds hunted you down based upon dead skin cells coming off you, but how did vampires hunt you down?

‘Perhaps it would be easier to fake my own death.’ They would not be inclined to believe it until they found the corpse itself. ‘And they would know almost immediately if it was a fake.’

‘What if we used a fire?’

‘They might not believe the corpse is mine.’

‘They don’t need to believe it the whole time, just long enough for you to get away.’

‘And just where would I get a corpse the same size as my own?’

‘That’s where Keichiro comes in.’

The deeper I got into the plan, the more illegal it was. I decided that it was better to use a pig carcass rather than a human one, at least to avoid getting involved in that unpleasant business if I was ever caught. The issue would be in getting a pig’s carcass into a burning building without raising questions and getting ‘trapped’ in the building without one of the brothers becoming aware of the fact that I was in it in the first place. The next issue would be getting out of the building without any of them knowing, and after that came the even greater challenge of escaping before they realised that the body was not mine.

I mused over the idea as I made my way towards the science rooms where Reiji was waiting for me. He was in the fourth room to the right and was already in the process of working on something. The distinct odour of menthol was prominent in the air as I shut the door behind me.

“You were requesting me?”

“After you leave the Paranormal club, you will be joining the Physics club.”

“I do not do well in Physics.” It was a lie, of sorts. I did not understand the formulas and the numbers, but I knew how to make questionable substances for personal use.

“Then this will be the appropriate place to learn. I expect proper behaviour from you. There is a meeting today. Do not be late.”

‘He’s tightening the leash around you.’

‘Perhaps he thinks I’m up to something.’ He was right, but I could not think of what had given me away beyond a pensive expression. I had gone to the rooftop where Sakura was waiting and greeted her. I knew Laito would be on the rooftop as well and suspected that if he did not make himself known then he would certainly be listening in.

“So, why was Study Dudy after you?” She asked as I sat down next to her.

“He is telling me to quit the Paranormal club and join the Physics club. Apparently, there is a meeting today and I have to be on my best behaviour.”

“That guy really is obsessed with the whole ‘perfect man’ business.”

“Unfortunately for him, his obsession only makes it clear that he is not perfect at all. In his pursuit of what he desires he makes himself flawed.”

“Damn, you’re poetic today.”

“I am poetic every day, I just do not get a chance to show off.” I opened up my lunch box and began to eat. Reiji had made it, stating that I was not eating enough, and it was only because I was in a public setting that I knew that it was not drugged although I was cautious despite this.

“Ah, summer’s not even here yet and my family’s planning a trip into the mountains.”

“Why would they choose that?”

“Told me I need to get some fresh air, but there are bears out there and it’s very easy to get lost and just disappear if you aren’t careful.” I did not pause my eating, but I did glance at her. Despite her carefree tone, there was a serious expression on her face.

“Just stick to the paths and you should be okay.” I knew how she intended to disappear. It was a simple trick, really, and far cleverer than faking a drowning. When it came to bodies of water the corpse almost always appeared after a few days, so it was suspicious when nothing showed up. People wandered off trails all the time and were never seen again.

“What are you planning to do?”

“I am not sure if I will be able to enjoy the summer holidays…” I remarked, picking at the rice. “Although, if I do I am certain that it will be a blast. It will be nice to get away from the mansion. I might slip into town for a little bit, although I would prefer to go somewhere more interesting.”

“Anywhere in particular?”

“Hmm… somewhere with lots of forest. I cannot go into the forest around the Sakamaki house.” She nodded, once, and focused on her own meal.

“Want to place a bet that Study Dudy will demand you go with him on holiday as well?”

“I am more likely to be persisted by Mr Laito. He is certainly determined to bother me although… I have found out that he has a fear of insects.” Sakura chuckled wickedly.

“Now that is a weapon I’d take full advantage of.”

“I know, right?”

Conversation drifted into more casual subjects, the messages passed along. It was my hope that none of the conversation had seemed suspicious so Laito would not see the plan in formation. Perhaps he would mock me for thinking that I would ever get a holiday and that was all he would think. Let him believe me to be a foolish girl with foolish hopes. Let him believe that his prey was cornered.

When I entered the Physics club I thought that they were certainly the sort of people that Reiji would interact with. Normally, I would perceive Physics students to be more excitable and chaotic, but Reiji’s influence had certainly spread to them as they appeared stern and rigid; more military soldiers than students. It made for quite a tense atmosphere and I thought to myself that I would sooner prefer death than to remain among them.

“You are the girl Mr Reiji invited?” It was a girl with long black hair tied into a high bun with thick red glasses.

“That is correct.” I stated, letting my eyes wander over the group. Most of them were boys of varying degrees of looking like class presidents with their freshly pressed uniforms and smug expressions. I knew that at least one of them had to be the child of a politician if not all of them.

“Well, this will certainly be interesting. He did warn us that you were not particularly skilled in Physics.”

“It is not that I am unable to make formula, it is that I cannot read the shorthand. I have dyscalculia.”

“You did not inform me of this.” Reiji stating, daring to sound surprised.

“It is why I struggle with Maths, and why I do not do well in Chemistry and Physics.” I did not shrug though I was tempted to. “I do have good memory when it comes to making ingredients, though.”

“Please, give us an example.”

“Vinegar and bleach make Chlorine gas. Ammonia and bleach make Chloramine vapours. Rubbing alcohol and bleach make Chloroform. Hydrogen Peroxide and vinegar make Pare-,”

“You certainly know a great deal about more destructive chemicals.”

“It was useful at the time.” Truthfully, I only knew because I used to write crime stories and was curious to see how a murderous housewife could kill her husband without having to go through the effort of buying arsenic. Or cleaving through his head with an ax.

I managed to keep a perfectly straight face at their mild concern, glancing amongst themselves. If there was one thing I had learned over the years and after a great deal of bullying, it was how to unsettle, and I took pride in it. Even Wednesday Adams might offer me a thumbs up.

“…Right. So, since you’re our newest member we’ll have to warm you up to the procedures first. I know you said that you don’t do well with numbers, but how are you with paperwork.”

‘Reiji has turned you into the secretary.’

“I do well enough.”

“Good, we need to sort some of the old leader’s work. That will be your task for the time being.”

The good thing about paperwork is that you could easily zone out while you were working. I had been stuck in paperwork duty multiple times in the past because I did not take breaks and would work until the task was completed. I would not whine, I would not complain, I did not doodle and was never distracted.

I did, however, choose to listen in on the conversation as the other members were involved in an interesting project. I did not know what they were working on or what it did, and it was clear that they had chosen to ignore me for the time being. I was essentially free labour for them. Servants always heard the most interesting news though.

“My family will be having a meeting next Wednesday, so I will not be able to attend then.” Reiji remarked as I went through the various letters that had been left behind by the last leader of the club. There was nothing of particular note within the letters themselves until I came across the mention of Reiji’s name.

‘So, he joined the club three months ago…’ It would not give me any information that I needed, but I did file it away accordingly. I was much more interested in Reiji’s statement of a family meeting.

“Will you still be in the country?”

“Yes, but I will not be attending school that day.”

‘It might be an opportunity.’

‘Or a trick.’ I thought. ‘To see whether I will try to escape then.’ I would not do anything until I had confirmation. I would have to follow through with the procedure, rather than getting too excited then.

I did not glance back at the group the entire time, working in silence. I did not check the clock and kept working until somebody tapped my shoulder. By that point, I had finished all of the paperwork.

“That’s… impressive.” Remarked one of the boys with slicked back dark brown hair.

“Do you need to check over what I have done to ensure it is all in order?”

“Oh, right, I will do it.” The girl took the large file from me, and I found it a strange thing that she seemed almost hesitant.

‘It’s because you’ve got that poker face on again.’

‘Don’t see why that would unsettle them.’

‘You’re clearly a robot.’

‘Beep boop.’ Since they had treated me like a secretary I did not try to ease her, maintaining my completely dulled expression.

“Next week we will do some experiments. You will be monitored, of course.”

“Of course.” They probably worried that I would make Chlorine gas. It was tempting if only to see whether Reiji would choke on it.

The car was waiting for us. As it was just I and Reiji that had stayed behind, it was just us inside the car. I thought we would drive in complete silence and for the first ten minutes this seemed to be the case.

“Do you have any other ailments that I should be aware of?”

“Nothing properly diagnosed.” He waited for a moment, I did not answer.

“And what of what was suspected?”

I considered ignoring it for a while, of pretending that I had not heard the question. It would certainly be more comfortable than dealing with the troublesome nature of explaining mental illnesses to a vampire that probably understood none of them beyond the books and would certainly take advantage of such conditions if I explained them.

“It would be wise if you spoke up.” Once again, it was tempting to ignore. I knew that he would grow irritated, however, and willed myself to respond.

“They suggested that I may have Schizoid Personality Disorder, although I never got the appropriate diagnosis before I was captured.”

Mental disorders were not something you tended to speak about, especially amongst people that were not close to you. There was always a slight underlying concern that you would be spoken about and seen as a disturbed individual that could not be trusted or left alone. Much like conditions including the phrase ‘psycho’, those with ‘schizo’ in their conditions were seen as a threat and that was troublesome more than anything. My own inability to feel things with as much passion as I thought others did was seen as troublesome and the first image that came to most people’s head was that of a serial killer killing for the sake of gaining some sort of thrill.

If you were not as passionate, as angry, and remorseful, or as happy as another human being then you were disturbed. If you were disturbed or abnormal you were a dangerous threat to the greater community, and then you were isolated further than you already were. I was fine with being alone, for the most part, but there was a difference between being alone and being lonely. It was why, in the past, I had attempted to express myself as an emotional person. I tried to blend in, but here it was different. Here it was necessary to feel very little. To avoid attachment and expect to be left on confinement. It was disturbing, but I was more myself in danger than I was under any other circumstances.

Reiji adjusted his glasses but made no comment. Not immediately, at least.

“I suppose we can arrange for you to be treated.” Part of me suspected that even if a therapist was hired, it would certainly be the case that the family would be listening in the entire time. I would give them nothing as a weapon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading so far I hope you enjoy this chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yui is confronted with therapy.

CHAPTER SEVEN

When I entered the room, I noted the green floral wallpaper and the large windows on the back wall. The man was sitting in a plain chair and across from him was the type of chair that one saw often in mock therapy sessions, a dark green cover over oak. I recognised the man before me as Reinhart, who I understood just as well to be one of Karl Heinz’s disguises.

The door was closed behind me, but I knew there would be no privacy for me here. If it were not for the fact that the brothers could hear every word I said in the mansion, then it would be for the fact that Karl Heinz himself would be taking notes on my behaviour for them.

“You are here to document and correct my behaviour in accordance with what is deemed proper.” I stated as I walked to the empty lounge chair, choosing to sit ridged on it rather than lying down. Lying down meant relaxing, and I did not want to appear relaxed around him.

“My name is Reinhart. It is a pleasure to meet you, Yui Komori. Now, I was informed that you had Schizoid Personality Disorder.”

“Incorrect, I stated that it was a potential diagnosis. I never stated that I was confirmed to have the condition.”

“I see… may I ask why this was suggested?” I considered what I should tell him, keeping my hands still on my lap.

“I was observed to demonstrate a disinterest in establishing relationships with other people except under specific conditions, as well as a lack of appropriate emotional responses combined with a lack of interest in tasks or hobbies, often described as ‘drifting’, rather than having a set goal in my life.” I stated. None of the above could be used as a weapon against me. “However, I do not lack emotions. I just do not feel them as often or as intensely as ordinary members of the community.”

“What emotions would you say you experienced often?” The clock ticked in the background. I could see it out of the corner of my eye and observed that it was a grandfather clock and wondered if it chimed just as loud as it ticked.

“I experience comfort and discomfort the most often.” I watched him write. I saw the way he sat, one leg crossed over the other, and thought of how he could sit with such confidence knowing that he had taken part not only in the ruination of my life but the lives of all his wives and his children.

‘Because he does not feel remorse.’

“Can you give me an example?”

“For example, when Mr Laito attempted to rape me I felt discomfort.”

“Can you tell me what in particular made you uncomfortable?”

‘As if it is not already obvious.’ Cordelia scoffed in my head, but I had to think.

“The act itself is an act of domination and intended to demonstrate authority over another. Beyond the fact that I would not enjoy being in the ownership of Mr Laito, the act of sexual intercourse requires intimacy on some level and in order to be intimate with another individual there needs to be a certain level of trust. I do not trust Mr Laito and thus the procedure of engaging in sex with him would be inappropriate.”

“You did not feel disgust or anger at the actions?” He seemed surprised by my logic, and I could not lie and say that I did not understand why. My way of thinking was often robotic to other people perhaps because I was so disconnected from my emotions. I would declare that something had angered me, or irritated me, because it was the only way to describe how I felt in that moment without coming across as emotionless.

“I feel no emotions whatsoever towards Mr Laito except discomfort. I do not wish to engage with him on any level.”

“So, Mr Laito makes you feel uncomfortable. Beyond his sexual interests in you, what makes you uncomfortable around him?”

“I do not understand the question.”

“Well, beyond the fact that he tried to rape you what makes you feel discomfort around him?” I thought on it for a moment, staring dully at Karl. I intended to make him uncomfortable as I did not answer, and for a second, I saw him shift.

“I find that he feels more in control of his own life when he is able to manipulate and control those around him by engaging with their emotional states. It reminds me of why I should not engage with my emotions in order to prevent myself from being used for his own purposes.”

I watched him right it down.

“And tell me, do any of the brothers make you feel comfortable?”

“No, they do not.” I did not hesitate in my response. “They have been involved in criminal activities of varying degrees of unpleasantness towards a number of girls and I am aware of my position of being another victim of their activities. Understanding this, I am unable to feel comfort around any of them.”

“I see…” I could see a trickle of sweat run down from his forehead down along his temple to his cheek. I gained a certain feeling of satisfaction knowing that I had made him uncomfortable in turn. Let him realise that he had destroyed his chances of success through the damage he had done to his own sons.

“Although…” Suddenly he seemed eager. “I had perhaps relaxed once around Mr Ayato. And perhaps once around Mr Reiji. I have since corrected this behaviour.”

“May I ask what encouraged you to relax around them?”

“Mr Ayato prevented my molestation and I could engage in conversation with him without my words being used against me as a weapon, although I was always sure to be careful with my words regardless. When he said something unpleasant I was reminded of my position and ensured that I would feel no comfort around him any longer.” I answered. “And Mr Reiji stood guard while I dressed and has since put some sort of protection on my room to prevent Mr Laito from entering it without his or my position, although I am aware of the fact that it is only due to the fact that if Mr Laito were to damage me I would soil Mr Reiji’s reputation.”

“Go on…”

“Part of me wonders if I am already considered damaged goods.” There was a mark of hesitation in my words. It was the first time I had voiced the doubts to anyone and I knew it to be a destructive thing to do especially in this environment. “Due to past experiences I have suppressed my emotions to the point that I am often unable to feel them at all. Most people that are this way are considered apathetic and thus not functioning members of society. In this sense, Mr Reiji has bought a broken product.”

“You are not broken, Miss Komori.”

“I did not say it was a bad thing.” He appeared confused. “If I am unable to feel emotions like fear, anger, guilt, or even pain, then that can only be a good thing in this environment.”

“Surely it would also be a good thing to feel positive emotions as well.”

“Incorrect, because if I experience positive emotions then those emotions can be taken from me or used against me. It is safer, under the circumstances, to feel nothing at all.”

To every question he asked I gave a methodical response that gave away nothing of my internal thinking. I knew that he was trying to pinpoint a weakness in me to use against me, and that the brothers would also be pursuing such a flaw in order to torment me further. When the hour had passed, I felt a touch of pride in the fact that Karl looked frustrated as he stood up, although he was quick to conceal it.

“Well, I look forward to our next session. Hopefully, we can figure out how you can express your emotions in a safe and stable environment.”

“That will not happen.” I had been so bold as to say it with a smile, but I knew it did not reach my eyes. It was the extra slap in the face that he had rightly earned.

Cordelia had said nothing throughout the entire session and remained silent even as I walked about the mansion. It brought my heart great joy to see that once the session had ended I was not being harassed, although Laito was quick to find me as I turned the corner.

It was difficult to describe what his intentions were in taking my hand, but I did suspect that part of him wanted to pull an emotion free from my stony surface, so he could claim that he was successful in breaking my façade for his own amusement.

“I would like to apologise for my previous behaviour. It was not right of me.” The words were empty despite appearing sincere. I knew that he felt no remorse for his actions and that he was simply trying to get me to trust him. “I hope we can start over again.”

“Your apology has been acknowledged.” I would not say that it was fine because it was not. If I said ‘it is fine’ I knew that he would think he had gotten away with his action and he would think that if he engaged in them again that he would be able to get away with them once again. I would not give that to him. “And on the subject of whether we can ‘start over’, I shall consider it.”

“I hope to hear a positive response.” He beamed, and for a single moment I felt the disturbed malicious urge to cut out his lying, silver tongue. I did not, of course, for the fact that I could not but if I had the power I found that I would not do it anyhow. Perhaps it was because I lacked sadism that the image left a foul taste in my mouth.

The next person I found was Ayato. I had collided directly with him and he caught me by the arms, locking me in place. I waited for him to release me, but when he did not I looked up at him. There was a strange glint in his eyes, and it appeared as though he was deep in thought.

“Oi, do I make you uncomfortable?” I almost smiled. It was strange how he sounded insecure, as though my opinion of him actually mattered. A quieter part of my mind suggested that I did.

“You do not make me comfortable.” If he was expecting a different answer, he should have been prepared for disappointment the entire time. This showed when he clicked his tongue, frustrated, and let me go.

I did not understand what he wanted from me. Only a fool would be comfortable with a person that stated they would look forward to the day that they broke, and surely, he was aware of this. If he thought that such statements would make me confide in him, then he was more disturbed than I thought. Or perhaps he was simply incapable of understanding prey did not feel safe around gnashing teeth.

It was with these thoughts that I came across Reiji just as quick with a stern look upon his face and a declaration that we should meet in the library. I did not argue, watching his back as he walked in front of me. He had a broad back, I thought, as I followed him and wondered whether he had fully grown. It was often a lie that people stopped growing by eighteen, instead still maturing in figure by twenty-five, so I wondered how he managed to look like a full-grown adult. I then imagined that his back would continue to extend for however long it took to reach full maturity and imagined him like the Hulk.

‘Or perhaps Arnold.’ It was a bizarre image that did not leave my head until we entered the library.

“I have read into your condition and believe this concoction may assist in treating the symptoms.” In his hand he held a vial with a faint pink liquid. Part of me thought that perhaps he had been working on it since I had given him a suggestion of what may be wrong with me.

“That is not necessary. I do not need to be overtly expressive in order to serve as a meal.” I stated plainly. I understood that the only real reason that he would provide me with such a thing would be to have me respond to his punishments in the way that he desired. It was the only logical conclusion I could come to.

“You have no interest in being able to express your emotions?” I could see a flicker of genuine confusion in his eyes.

“Within an environment in which one is under constant physical and mental pressure, emotions can be troublesome and cloud one’s judgement. I find that I am able to respond more appropriately than the average person because of this.”

I knew he would not accept so easily so did not flinch when he pried my mouth open, removing the lid of the vial with his teeth and forcing the liquid down my throat. I was tempted to breathe so I would choke on it but swallowed. He was sickeningly sweet, being so bold as to pat my head as one would a good dog.

He waited for a moment before speaking.

“Do you feel any different?” I thought for a moment. I thought of things that would derive happiness, and things that would depress another human. I felt no emotional response and concluded that I did not feel different. My heart did not drum with anticipation, I feel no shivers down my spine, and I did not experience any nausea or sensations of dread. I was still in neutral.

“I do not.” He adjusted his glasses.

“We will have to test that. Come to the basement with me.”

I understood that he would test his experiment by inflicting pain on me and disconnected myself from the situation in understanding this. I walked quietly behind him, once again observing his back as he moved.

“Remove your shirt and place it on the chair.” I did as I was told. I turned away from him, facing the stone wall. I thought of other things in that moment. I thought of what we would have for dinner, and whether I would get a good night’s sleep as the whip was cracked across my back. “Did you feel that?”

“Correct.”

“Beyond physicality?”

“I did not.” I felt no fear for the person before me, nor sympathy nor dread. I felt little urges to beg and even less to cry. When it was cracked a second time he asked again:

“Did you feel that?”

“I did not.” I waited for the next crack, keeping my focus on the stone wall in front of me. I observed the blood splatters and wondered just how many girls had died in this chamber alone.

When I felt hands upon my shoulders I forced myself to still. When his voice came to my left ear, I felt the desire to pull away.

“And this?”

“I feel discomfort.”

“What is discomforting about the situation?” I did not answer immediately.

“It is a contradiction to the behaviour that is standard of one wishing to inflict torment on an individual by falsifying gentility towards the victim. As I am aware that there is no kindness in the actions, I am uncomfortable because I am anticipating the pain that follows afterwards.”

“And what if I were to not inflict pain upon you?”

“I would understand that it was either part of an experiment or to get me to feel comfort, so it could be taken from me so as to attempt to inflict further pain upon me.” He huffed.

“You think so lowly of me?”

“It is not a matter of thinking low of you as an individual, it is taking previous experience in order to deal with the present.”

“You would be better suited for Kanato’s doll collection.” He said as he pulled away. Instead of waiting for him to tell me I could put my shirt on, I pulled it on myself.

“It is not a matter of not feeling emotions, it is a matter of purposefully keeping them at bay for my own safety. If I am cheerful, I feel it strongly. If I feel anger I feel it in full force. It is because I keep them locked away that, when I do feel them, I feel them with all of my might.” I explained as I buttoned up the shirt, before turning towards him. “It is because you want me to feel fear and despair that I choose not to feel them. It is truly as simple as that.”

He made a noise at the back of his throat that I could best describe as a scoff.

“So, this is your rebellion.” I nodded. “It seems as though you do not know my place.”

“I am fully aware of my place. I provide the blood, I take the torments, and I follow the rules, but you will have no power over my emotions.”

He pulled me close, snatching me by the chin. I understood that I had angered him, but I did not have it in me to be afraid. I felt only the strong urge to continue my rebellion.

“You should have played the fool and pretended, your life may have been easier that way.”

“You and your brothers thrive off the fear of little girls like me. It makes you feel powerful. I will give you nothing. No matter what you do.”

“We shall have to see about that.” He released my chin, almost with a shove, before leaving the dungeon space.

I spent a while longer in the dungeon. I spoke with confidence, but underneath the layers there was a slight fear within me. They could do whatever they wanted with me and I would refuse to crack, but I thought of my friends in the Paranormal club and dreaded the possibility of them being used as a weapon against me. They were not as immune to pleading as I was, and nightmare visions of their tortures flooded my mind.

I steadied my breathing and buried the thought. When I lay in my bed that night I thought to myself that I would not allow them to be used against me. I would give the brothers no suggestion that I felt genuine fondness for those students, and if the time came when they were torn apart I would grieve in silence and take my vengeance with the hunger of a half-starved wolf.

I had forgotten that Reiji had become determined to turn me into a young lady until he awoke me the next night with the sun still out. I had very little sleep and was still in a state of confusion when he stood over me looking quite impatient, like a scolding father.

“We begin our lessons today.” I was kept in my nightgown for the simple fact that later in the night it would be time for school and there was no point in changing into other clothes if only to change into a school uniform.

He balanced several books atop my head, more than I thought was reasonable, and commanded that I walk from one end of the room to the next. With so much weight on my head it was only natural that they fall off halfway to the other end of the room and, as suspected, Reiji sighed in his dramatic manner and called me deplorable for being unable to do it.

“And do not keep your arms ridged by your side. You are not a machine, you swing your arms with the movement of your legs. If you truly cannot do it then keep your arms held either behind your back or by your stomach.”

He often found flaws in the slightest things I did. I was walking too much like a soldier, was the main comment worth noting. I looked like I was trying to hunt down prey rather than performing as a lady. When the sun had finally set it was with another sigh of disappointment and a comment that I would require more thought than he had hoped for.

I was glad to be rid of him, even if it was only for the moment he took to get himself sorted for the day. However, he was just as quick to demand I get dressed and escort me to the kitchen where I was expected to work alongside him. A lady should at least know how to prepare a meal, was his logic.

I had no issue with making dinner, but he found the smallest thing to insult. Whether it was how I cut vegetables, or how I added too much water to a pan, he always found an error and would immediately correct it and scold me for it.

‘The strange thing is he is always exceptionally touchy during these moments.’ Cordelia had mentioned. It was the first time she had spoken in some time and I was caught off guard by her comment which caused me to make an error that Reiji immediately noticed.

“If you do that you will get oil all over yourself.” He warned, and I did notice how instead of pushing me away he chose to stand behind me and sort the issue by working around me instead, so his arms worked as a cage of sorts.

It was not something I would have noticed on my own.

‘I cannot believe I am saying this, but I think he might actually like you.’

‘Please explain.’

‘He’s trying to make you into a suitable lady as a partner for him, he took offense to the fact that you felt no emotional attachment to him and immediately tried to correct it, and now he’s all touchy-touchy with you.’

As I watched him sort the pan in front of me, I was forced to confront the reality that those were the traits that Reiji did demonstrate when he showed a romantic interest in somebody. Reiji was not one for open bravado when it came to emotions and was not known for expressing himself through direct words or physical touch. He preferred subtlety in his own emotions and would only respond when the other showed appreciation for him. It was like reading a code; one had to know the key to understand the message.

‘That is interesting.’ I remarked, and I could hear Cordelia scoff.

“There, hopefully you have not caused permanent damage to the meal with your recklessness.” I thought for a moment, before I decided to test it out.

‘Oh, please don’t.’ I did, and stared Reiji directly in the eyes as I said it.

“You are a wonderful man.”

‘I can’t believe you just did that.’ Ignoring her, I watched him. I could see his shoulders go ridged, the widening of his eyes, the slight gaping of his mouth. And then I saw it. His cheeks began to go red, and he quickly turned away.

“Focus back on the pan.”

I could not deny it then. Reiji was, for one reason or another, attached to me. And if there was one thing I was certain of then, it was that he would be exceptionally difficult to shake off.

‘This may hinder the plan.’

‘Or send you to an early grave once he realises that he’s been played.’

The thought of being captured was not a pleasant one, and never had been. I had been fully prepared to kill myself if I was captured again for the fact that it would be a quicker and more pain-free method of escaping the situation. If they did not kill me on the spot, which did not seem likely, then they would inflict torture and torment beyond what even I could imagine with my disturbed mind.

As I ate, I considered the tools I would need also to end my own life if they managed to capture me. They may deprive me of actual tools that would allow me to escape my painful death, so I would have to have something that they would not initially see as a weapon. I considered it for a while before I concluded that it would have to be a type of poison.

Half a gram of cyanide could kill a 160-pound adult in almost no time at all. The issue would be in extracting that amount of cyanide without raising suspicions, and it would also be important to have a non-suspicious container for the poison for if I needed it.

‘A locket would do the trick.’ Then the issue was in getting a locket. As I did not go into town often, I would have to have a particular reason for going into town, and I was certain that one of the boys would go with me.

‘I have one in my jewellery box although you will have to hide it, so my boys do not notice.’

‘They might smell it, though.’

‘Soak it in something.’

Approximately 150 to several thousand apple seeds would need to be crushed in order to kill me. I thought of mixing it with pears and cherries in order to be less suspicious. Reiji did, occasionally, buy fruit even though I was the only one that ate them. It would be wise to start collecting the seeds immediately and hide them away so as to begin the process of grinding them down.

‘We still have the issue of getting away from the burning building without anybody spotting us.’ It was a work in progress and something that was being discussed mainly with the Paranormal society. I was hoping to receive an outcome in our meeting that day.

‘The point would be to get me separate from the brothers for long enough that I could switch my body with another’s. Or, perhaps, I could convince them that my body was in the ambulance and while they were distracted I would make my escape through other means.’

The thoughts followed me into the car. I was not being harassed by Laito as I so often was, and I understood it to be because he wanted me to drop my guard around him. He wanted me to believe that he had learned his lesson and that he was behaving himself around me, but I knew the type of game that he played.

‘He will be the most difficult to convince.’

It was likely that girls had tried to escape in a similar fashion in the past, I thought. I dreaded that they would see through the entire thing and my entire plan would crumble around me, along with the danger of the Paranormal society being caught in the act as well.

‘Perhaps the thing to be concerned about more is the fact that one of the brothers may go into the fire to bring you out. That will not give you enough time to escape.’

‘The smell of the smoke should block out my smell, at least.’

‘But they can hear your heart beating no matter where you go.’

‘The sound and the stress of the situation may disorientate them.’ I knew that it was only a hope and that I did not know what the actual outcome would be until the day we set the plan in motion. There would be no time for errors, then. I would have to find a way to disable all of their senses so that, even if they stepped into the fire, they would not find me as I made my escape.

‘I almost feel guilty.’

‘Why?’

‘Because Reiji is starting to feel close to me. Imagine how distressed he will be to find me dead.’ I thought. ‘Imagine how furious he will be if he finds me alive afterwards.’

‘Consider his emotions afterwards, and don’t get caught.’

Reiji walked alongside me towards class which went against his usual habit of marching ahead of me and pretending that I was not there. I knew he was slowing his steps to go into synch with my own.

“Head up.” He ordered, and I lifted my head. “Try not to look like you are considering murder.”

“Not murder.” I stated as people moved around me. If one walked like a predator people naturally avoided you. It was something I had learned when I visited the city and found that even fully-grown men would avoid me if I looked like I was going to start a fight.

“If you behave appropriately you may be allowed to go into town tomorrow.”

It was the bizarre opportunity I had been looking for. I unclenched my hands and marched with less force. Though I did not smile, I did not frown either. I did stare at people and I kept my head held high.

“It is well enough.” It was the closest I would get to a compliment for the time being. I did not think I would get anything else as the classroom door was opened and he stepped aside to let me in. I did so with a nod and took my seat. Sakura was already inside and saluted to me. There was an eagerness on her face that I could only describe as good news. I let the slightest smile appear on my face which vanished as soon as I realised that Reiji had noticed.

‘He may take that as a threat.’

‘You know how possessive these children are with their toys.’ Hopefully he did not see Sakura as a threat, but I did not like the way he glared at her as he took his seat.

“So, you know that whole issue we had with transport earlier on. We came to a conclusion!”

“I see…”

“I’ll explain during the meeting, though. Better we let everyone know what’s up.”

“Of course.” The entire time, I could feel Reiji’s piercing stare. I prayed he did not choose to pursue the topic. When I glanced his way, only for a second, I could see him clutching his pen with force. I thought it would break under his grip, but when he noticed that I was staring he immediately relaxed it.

‘You’re in it deep this time.’

‘I am only just beginning to realise how deep.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan falls into action.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Sakura would, at times, lean over her desk to look at what I was doing, and she would not do it in a way that was particularly subtle. I had since grown used to it and learned not to curl away from her when she did it. She did not necessarily look at the notes, but instead looked at my drawings. Despite it all, I was still an artist and though I seldom got a chance to draw like I used to, I took every advantage that I could. Often, it was the classroom I drew. I would see the students in front of me and I would draw their backs. If I looked out the window, which I did not do regularly, I would draw the city view. If I was bored I would draw things on my desk. The notebooks were full of drawings. I did not draw Cordelia, though I was often tempted to.

“You know, I used to think you were a bit of a robot.” Sakura remarked at the end of class, stretching upwards.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you tend to be quite neutral in how you speak about everything; as if nothing excites you. And you always have this blank face even when you’re pretending to be happy or sad. It never reaches your eyes.”

“That is a bit harsh…” I did not take Sakura as the observant kind, so it surprised me to hear her say such things. Even the brothers had not noticed the extent to which I was faking emotions.

“But when you draw I notice that you have this tiny little smile and your eyes light up. You actually look happy. It’s the only time I see you really look like it.”

Somebody leaned over my shoulder and gasped.

“Wow, Miss Yui, you’re really good!” She declared, turning the page. I was not necessarily uncomfortable with her flicking through my notebooks, but I did not enjoy it either. “These are really good. You’re an amazing artist.”

“I am… really not that great.” She scoffed, waving away my dismissal before pulling the notebook from the desk. I jolted, trying to take it away from her.

“Hey, Mr Reiji, don’t you think she’s a good artist?”

‘I will choke you.’ I thought bitterly as she handed the notebook to Reiji. I was hoping that he would dismiss the whole situation as childish and be on his way, but instead he looked me straight in the eye before taking the notebook.

‘Something else for him to complain about as unladylike.’ He turned the pages with a silent, neutral expression on his face. I could not tell what he was thinking as he went through my daydreams. I had, at times, drawn things solely from my imagination. Although I had been careful not to draw parents, I knew for a fact that at least once I had drawn the brothers; Reiji included. That was what I imagined he had stopped on and when the girl leaned over to look I knew it was correct.

“So, you have a crush on Mr Reiji?” She asked in a sly manner stretching forward to rest her head on my shoulder, rubbing her cheek against my own.

“I do not.” I stated firmly, gently pushing her off despite her insistence on remaining there. “I have drawn all of the brothers.”

“She is correct.” He turned the pages, revealing the triplets, and then Subaru and lastly his older brother. “There is no bias towards me here.”

“Damn… do you like any of them?”

“In what sense?”

“Romantically, silly.” I pretended to think about it.

“I do not.”

The walk towards the cafeteria was quiet. Reiji walked alongside me and kept his face forward. He made no comments on the way I walked although at one point he did lift my head for me. When we sat at the table with our plates of food we remained silent until the brothers came in their crowded flurry, and I thought it a good thing that they were there to fill the silence as it had grown uncomfortable for me.

“Show them your notebook.” He stated at some point, so quiet I almost did not register it. When I recognised the words, I set my chopsticks down and pulled out my bag, taking out the notebook.

“Why would I want to see Titless’s notes?”

“It seems she is quite keen on art.” He flicked through the pages. In the corner of one page was each of the triplets in a row, and on the next page over the entire page had been filled with the scenery from my classroom window. The city stretched outwards towards the sea, the lights like stars in the sky. Had I let myself, I would have been embarrassed with the situation.

“Oi, you should draw me more often!” Ayato snatched the notebook from Reiji, flicking through the pages. “Man, the rest of this is just boring!”

I did not know why Reiji had taken to showing his brothers the art. I thought it was perhaps to see how I would respond emotionally to their comments, with Kanato’s being the fiercest. He was livid that I had drawn him without his permission and tried to tear out the page, screaming and howling that he should cut off my hands for such a thing. It was what I had expected from him, but I was allowed to relax when he became distracted and forgot about the entire situation.

I only knew that Reiji was trying to gauge my response because he had been looking at me the entire time.

‘Perhaps he does not realise that it is the process of making the art that makes you happy, rather than people’s comments.’

When I went to see Sakura, it was alone. Reiji told me I had five minutes to sort what I needed with her or he come to collect me, which was something that I would not appreciate a great deal. I almost ran up the stairs to the meeting room where everyone was organised.

“I have five minutes before Mr Reiji comes looking for me.”

“Snappy much?” I sat down on my designated seat as they spoke.

“Michiko has some connections to the nearest hospital so there will be an ambulance on standby in case we get injured at any point. Though the trip will be happening in two days’ time, the report will be sorted by this Wednesday. We’ll do it during lunch time, so it doesn’t interrupt your Physics club. It will be happening in Room 2-13B though we will move if circumstances change. Keichiro has already set everything else up so things will go smoothly. You just need to be in that room during lunch time to sort out your part.”

“Understood.” For the first time in a long time, I could feel my heart drumming in my chest. I could not tell if it was with fear or anticipation that it drummed so wildly. “I am preparing for in case anything goes wrong as well to prevent unpleasant consequences…”

“What do you have?”

“Just some yew.” I knew enough about yew trees to know that the needles were poisonous and would cause a rapid death by cardiac arrest. It would take care of me in an instant, although it was something that I would prefer to not do.

“Hopefully it all goes well.” Jun said with an unsteady sigh. He likely understood that I was referring to the fact that I may kill myself to avoid capture. He put a hand on my shoulder and stared me in the eye. “We’d be glad to have you stay with us.” I nodded, and he pulled his hand away as the door opened.

“You have taken six minutes.”

“That’s my fault, I was making sure she remembered everything.”

I thought of how long Reiji had been at the door and whether he had heard everything. Would he calculate our plan based upon my arrival into an ambulance that he would be barred from? Would he realise that I was making an escape as I was transferred from the ambulance and pounce like the vicious hound I knew him to be, or would he deceive me into thinking that I had escaped and creep upon me one night and drain me of what remained of my blood? Would he dare to charge into the fire before I climbed the ladder from the second floor and drag me back by the teeth, or would he stop the fire before it had even begun?

These thoughts pursued me for some time, pulling me into a constant state of worry that hindered my work as I spun the pencil in my hand. I had stared dully at my notebook, the tea forgotten by my side. It was no time for emotions and yet they crowded around me with a vicious eagerness that demanded my attention to such a degree that I forced myself to stand up and pace. When that did not work, I left my room.

I found myself in the gardens wandering much like a ghost in an attempt to ease my mind. I had paused for a short while when I spotted a flower I understood to be deadly. I saw its black round berries and knew that for a child they looked tempting even though just one could kill them in an instant. I took several and put them into my pocket. Belladonna was once used in the past to serve as a way for Victorian ladies to dilate their pupils to make them more seductive. I understood it better as Deadly Nightshade, and I would have to eat the berries quickly if the time came.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I stood abruptly, recognising Subaru’s voice.

“I am enjoying the scenery. I prefer the outdoors to inside.”

“There are things in this area that could kill you in an instant.”

“There are things inside that could do the same.” I turned to look at him. I noted the garden shears in his hand and the bucket in his other hand. He noticed my glance and moved his arm, so the bucket was only partly visible. “I find the plants interesting, and incredibly useful.”

“Planning to poison yourself?” I tilted my head, pretending to play innocent. “I know that plant behind you. A few girls have used it to kill themselves before.”

The way he said it so casually did something to make me want to grind my teeth. I did not like to be reminded of what had happened to so many girls before me, and it frustrated me to know that there was so little care for them. I doubted he even knew their names.

When he came close I did not pull away. I stared into his eyes as he stared down at me and thought that it would be a good thing if he could see the determination there.

“Nobody will be here on Wednesday. If you are to end your life, do it then. They can’t save you that way.”

“I will not kill myself.”

“Then I pity you.” It was not until he turned away that I allowed a smirk on my face. Perhaps he would realise what I had done, but I did not think he would tell his brothers.

The next day I was awoken in the afternoon by the abrupt glow of the sun as my curtains were torn open. I threw the blankets over my face trying to block out the view, but a gloved hand quickly pulled the covers away from me.

“Come now, it was you that decided we were to do such a thing in the first place. Wake up, Yui, if you do not wish for me to use more brutal methods.” I squinted my eyes open, Reiji staring down at me with amusement in his eyes. I knew that he delighted in seeing me a tangled mess, probably because it re-clarified the fact that I was below him in some manner. “You have fifteen minutes to make yourself look presentable or I shall take you into town as you are.”

I laid down for five minutes more before I dragged myself upwards. I understood that when he said he was going to do something, he often meant it. I focused more on putting on my clothes and shoes, brushing my hair down with my hands in time for him to return to my room and analyse me with an increased expression of disappointment.

“Oh dear, you look like a street rat.” Part of me anticipated that he would accept what he said and take me into town as I was, but when he took the comb and ordered me to sit on the chair I knew that his pride always took first place.

He was not gentle, or kind, but he was always thorough. Both with combing my hair and in pursuing what he was looking for in the city.

‘Knowing him, it’s probably a tea that can only be plucked in February under the light of a full moon that has to be steamed over mahogany branches.’

‘Behave yourself, Cordelia.’ I warned as I trailed after him, although I did not disagree with the statement and found that she was remarkably on the head with her statement when we entered a tea shop.

“I am ordering specific teas, but you may pick one.”

He left me at the front of the shop as he went to the register, handing in what looked like a ticket.

‘You always were a fan of teas yourself.’

‘Yes, but not on his level…’ I thought as I searched the shelves. I knew it was unlikely that they would have what I was looking for, but I searched regardless.

‘What are you looking for?’

‘Heather tea.’ I did not find it and pulled out an apple and pear tea blend instead, turning the decorative tin and reading the instructions on the back. ‘He’s probably going to teach me how to brew teas in the near future. I should get ahead of the game.’

‘It might be useful as well.’

‘In what sense?’

‘Brewing poison.’ I nodded as he took the tin from me.

“You have a preference for fruit teas?”

“I was looking for heather tea, but it will do.”

“Hm… I have never tried heather tea.”

“It is generally only made in Scotland. Along with Thistle tea.” He stared, only for a moment, before turning away and putting it on the desk along with his collection of other teas. I noted Orange Pekoe, Earl Grey, Gunpowder, Silver Needle, and Bai Mudan.

‘So black tea, green tea, and white tea.’

‘At least it is only three types.’

‘Better than the full range I suppose.’

We did not wander much, Reiji seeming to have a schedule in mind. We stopped by an art shop and he bought a watercolour sketchpad and a paint set which I suspected to be for myself, and we stopped by a café where we ate. The entire time, Reiji instructed me on how to eat the food accordingly and how to drink the tea.

People knew him and that was the strangest thing for me. They greeted him, they talked to him, and they asked about his brothers and they asked about me. They asked if I was a girlfriend, mostly. He denied it every time but as the question came up time and time again his answer came more reluctantly until he said, at one point, a single thing:

“Perhaps.”

I took that uncertain declaration home and found that the unease that had persisted for many days remained firm in my heart, a thing that only continued when I entered my room and found the watercolours there with the sketchpad and the tea.

‘Will you take them with you?’

‘I will.’ It may have been a selfish thing to do, to take his gifts and flee from him with them. Maybe it would be less cruel, and less sadistic, to leave them behind. To make him think that there was nothing planned about what had happened and to make him think that it was an unfortunate tragedy that had taken me. Perhaps it was better to leave them behind. And yet I knew I would take them with me.

When Saturday night came around I knew that there would be no turning back. During the investigation Reiji had a great number of things to say about the absurdity of ghosts and was often demanding explanations about the science behind the various tools that were used in the investigation. It was amusing, in a manner, to see such a strong skeptic in such an environment.

It was an old house built in the traditional manner. Although the owners were not present, it was still lived in; an elderly couple with no other family in the household. They worked the fields outside the house which mostly grew rice which led to them having hunched backs.

“If you want us here, turn on that torch.” It was because of his disinterest that I became bolder and more dramatic in my tauntings, which led to me walking up to the torch.

“Yui, Yui, what the hell are you doing?” Sakura said as I knelt down in front of the torch.

“If you don’t want us here, turn on that torch.”

“Yui! Get back.”

“I don’t think they have the strength to turn it on.” I had been smiling the whole time. “I really don’t think they do.”

Sakura was paralysed in her fear, but the light did not turn on. I knew it would not, because there were no ghosts present. The entire time she was on edge and I would push her into terror with my bold declarations to the air, and it brought me some level of delight to see them being so nervous. It seemed to entertain Reiji as well, although when the investigation was over he told me that my behaviour was very inappropriate and would be considered rude under any other circumstances.

“Remember we’re writing up the report on Wednesday. Be there or be square.” I nodded. It quickly brought my amusement down as I locked away the feelings. If Reiji noticed, he said nothing.

“I will not be at school on Wednesday. You will be tended to by the servants.” He did not look at me. “Do not consider this an opportunity to escape. You will be found.”

“Understood.” I would attempt it anyway, and with a quiet resolve I kept my eyes on the road.

The servants would not be able to follow me to school and would not be able to monitor me the entire day. There was still the likelihood of familiars, but I knew them to be visible and in the form of bats more often than not. I knew I would have to escape the school and falsify smoke exhaustion to get me into the ambulance that had been chosen for me. I had to get out of their sight.

I wondered if anticipation had shown on my face, if the tapping of my finger or the distraction from classes made it clear that I was in anticipation for Wednesday. It must have done, I thought, and they must have been expecting a weak attempt at an escape. They must have thought that they would see me leave the house by the front door and walk by the roads like a lost child.

Or perhaps they understood me to be more cunning and were curious to see how I would escape. Perhaps that was why I had been told three times that they would be leaving on Wednesday; to see what I would do so they would have reason to give me hope and would destroy it in an instant. It was often in the nature of predators to toy with their food, to drive them to madness in some form for their own disturbed delight, and I knew these boys were no different.

‘I must be prepared for that.’ I dreaded for myself and the Paranormal society so when Wednesday came around it was with fear that I entered the car alone and sat in silence. It was with shaky hands that I clutched at my bag, heavier than usual, and with uncertainty that I went through the classes with the false neutrality that had taken hold of my life since I had come to this place.

I walked to the classroom as one would to gallows, the tolling of bells ringing firmly in my mind, each footstep like the hammering of nails in a coffin. I processed every potential error, every flaw, every slip up and could feel myself choking on the very air as I opened the door just in time for me to hear the fire alarms go off.

The fires consumed the school with incredible speed. I did not know how they had managed to set it up in such a manner, but the students left their classrooms quickly to escape to the front of the school while I remained inside. I remained in the classroom until I saw the ladder strike against the window and knew that my escape had come.

It was with an eager frightfulness about me that I opened the window, seeing the smoke creeping through the doors, and began to climb down. I did not care for the sound it made as the sound only made me more nervous. Windows cracked and shattered around me and the smoke billowed out.

I was afraid to look down and just as afraid to look up. I could only focus on what was directly in front of me as I rapidly climbed the ladder, listening to the sirens of fire trucks surrounding the building and knew that I had little time.

When they spotted me I began to cough. It was not a genuine cough, but it was enough to bring about concern as I was brought to the ambulance. The ambulance I knew to be my escape route. I did not see the brothers in the crowd, nor did anyone run to me when I was put into the ambulance. It was going well, and because it was going well I was not inclined to believe that it would lost.

My heart would not rest easy, trying to break free from my chest. I clutched at it, begging for it to cease as we drove towards the hospital.

I was flung sharply to the side as something struck the ambulance. Immediately afterwards, the ambulance fell onto its left side and the trolley I had been on slammed into me. I let out a single yelp as we skidded sharply across the road. I pushed past the trolley, scrambling for the doors.

They were opened for me.

“That was an impressive attempt to escape.” It was a voice I recognised, but it was not one of the brothers.

He reached out and pulled me into the night. Before I could attempt to resist we soared into the sky and I clung to him, fearing that I would descend if I did not.

“Here I was told that you were stiff and had no emotions at all, but I see they were wrong.” I pondered screaming but feared he would drop me if I did.

He was a charming sight in person which made me dread him even more. Eyes like bluebells stared down at me as a sly smile pulled at his youthful face which I knew to truly be far older than my own soul. I wanted to curse him, to damn him, to wish fire and brimstone upon his soul until nothing remained but bone, but all he did was laugh.

“That’s a scary look you have on your face, masochistic kitty.”

The Mukami brothers had arrived earlier than I thought they would and had destroyed my freedom in an instant. I said not a single word no matter how strong the fury was in me as I tried to figure out how I would explain the situation to the Paranormal club. And how I would explain the situation to the Sakamaki brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me slam dunking y'all.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yui settles into the Mukami household.

CHAPTER NINE

I had often been told as I grew up that I had an interesting mix of behaviours in that I would often times be seen to express very little, much like a doll, but on rare occasions I would suddenly burst forth with expressions and a fire that many had thought to be non-existent in me; something that would even startle my mother from time to time in its vividness.

I had hidden away such emotions for eighteen years without a single outburst of tears, of anger, or of despair. I had not allowed them to burst forth for the overwhelming sensation of fear that had taken hold of my life; a constant reminder of the fact that I was in danger and the slightest error could cost my life.

I had not seen it as an issue although I acknowledged that it would sooner destroy me rather than help me. It was not until I was in my new room in the Mukami household with my large rucksack on the bed that the emotions overflowed within me. An ocean of tears and a great long wail like the wail of a banshee as I slammed my fist over and over again into the rug underneath me until the knuckles burned with the pain and until the skin was torn open in fine layers that only grew deeper and deeper until blood wept through the scars.

And when the outburst had passed I curled up against the end of the bed. Due to the fact that I had it for so long, I did not process the incredible headache that had followed me my entire life, and the constant edginess within my body seeped away as exhaustion took hold of me. Not the exhaustion that came with a lack of sleep, but the exhaustion that came with a battle lost. I let myself lay there with my arms outstretched and my legs curled upwards.

I let myself give up on my cool façade for even a single hour. For a single minute. I let myself accept that I had been defeated. It did not help with the situation, it certainly did not improve it, but I felt better knowing that I did not have to think for at least a minute.

A minute was all I was given to lay there. A knocking came upon the door and I considered ignoring it and allowing myself to play the role of a corpse, but the knocking became more insistent and I willed myself to lift my body from the ground, almost dragging myself to the door. I hesitated, only for a moment, to ensure my hair was flat and my eyes free of tears. They would still be red, but at least they would not trickle down as they stood at my door.

Before me stood Ruki. I noticed that his eyes were a distinct peacock blue and his hair, like many of the individuals within this world, faded at the ends starting with a dark reddish-purple before melting into pure white at the tips and, like many of the vampires in this world, I could see through the hair to the shape of his head and to his ears. I glanced at the ears and noticed that though he was not wearing earrings at that moment, the lobe of one of his ears was pierced in three places.

‘The concept of Ruki going through a punk phase is almost as scary as his Christian Grey phase.’

‘The fact that I have not read the book, yet you know exactly who Christian Grey is is more unsettling.’

“You should hurry up and make your way to the dining room. We have dinner, but more than that you have to make some decisions.”

‘Ah yes, the choice between the many yanderes. Mourn your own death because it’s coming.’

‘I only wish it would be so easy.’

It would be, I thought with a disturbed thought in my mind. I still had the Belladonna berries in my pocket which I could easily use to end my torment if it grew too strong.

‘I have not played this game in particular, I only know of their personalities and what happens afterwards.’

‘Skipped this lot, did you?’

‘It was too expensive. I know everyone has to start fighting demonic wolves at some point.’

‘So, we’re going in blind?’ I noted that the house was quite different from the Sakamaki household not in the sense that it was a house of poverty, but because the exterior had less decoration and the interior was more modern. I had noted, as I was dragged through the entrance, that there were only two storeys to this building with the attic only technically accounting for as a third floor, although I had also seen a larger part of the building looming over the façade. I thought to myself that if I ever got the opportunity I would explore the entire building.

‘We will simply have to learn along the way.’ I knew she was unhappy with such a statement, I found that she had mostly been unhappy since I had been taken in by the Sakamakis and I was disturbed to find that I was glad she was unhappy not only because it showed her the consequences of her actions, but because if she was unhappy I was given more room to think on my own. If she felt the emotions for me, I would be the planner. That was how it had been for most of our journey together.

‘You’re allowed to feel emotions, you realise.’

‘After that outburst I think it would be good to hide them away until I get out of here.’

From my room to the dining room there were two corridors and the main entrance stairwell. From there we took the room to the left and went through the living room to the dining room at the end. From the dining room I could see another two doors, one of which was open; I did not lean forward to look at it, but when I was told to sit at the dining table I could see that it was the kitchen.

‘Back to the doll façade, are you?’ I sat straight as a ruler with my hands on my lap and my head sat forward. My face was empty once again and before me I saw the brothers filing in for the food that had been set out before us all. I did not know exactly what it was, but I knew it to be a type of pasta and I was certain that before I became Yui Komori I had eaten it in an Italian restaurant and had unsettled many people with the violent way I had torn at the clams as many of them were still shut when I had been served it. I did not touch the food.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” I heard Ruki say as he sat next to me. His brothers were already eating the food, Kou with more vigour than everyone else.

“I was not made aware of the fact that I was permitted to eat.” I wondered if he raised a brow, but I did not turn my head to look at him.

“You can eat.”

“Understood, sir.”

‘You going to salute and stand to attention as well?’

‘I might just to unsettle them.’ I took the fork and since Reiji was not there to correct me I kept it in the hand I was most comfortable with. It was with great concentration that I tried to wrap the spaghetti around the fork. I never had particular skills in eating spaghetti at any point and I actively avoided it for the simple fact that it made me seem like a messy eater and I hated getting the sauce on my face. I was not blessed in this lifetime with the skills necessary to eat it and after several attempts I set the fork down and cleaned my face, accepting defeat.

“Do I have to spoon feed you? That was pathetic.” Scolded Yuma with a cocky smile upon his face.

“I have never eaten spaghetti before.” Technically as Yui I never had, so it was not a lie. Still, it earned a whistle.

“Ain’t you lucky.”

“I do not understand the statement, sir.” I understood it completely yet was encouraged to maintain the role of robotic ignorance for my own amusement.

“This guy,” He pointed at Kou whose face was a terrible mess and who only glanced up when the thumb was pointed his way. “Loves this stuff. We have it at least once a week and would eat it all day every day if he could.”

‘Don’t do it.’

“This meal lacks the necessary nutritions to maintain a healthy body. While it has carbohydrates, omega 3s and the necessary protein for muscle development, it is entirely lacking in vitamin C and if it was all that was consumed throughout the day for the remainder of one’s life, one would develop scurvy which includes symptoms such as bloody gums and-,”

“Geez, if I wanted a textbook lecture I would have gone to school.” I closed my mouth. Though I kept my face neutral I would have laughed under other circumstances. “At least you know vegetables are important.”

“Yes, sir. I have observed that home grown vegetables are preferred to supermarket vegetables due to the pesticides and other chemicals used on commercial-,”

“You could have just stopped at ‘yes sir’.”

“Understood, sir.” It was a small rebellion, but one that I delighted in regardless. 

“I thought she was supposed to be quiet…” Kou remarked, his mouth full of food.

“Are those my orders, sir?” Ruki cleared his throat. I thought that perhaps he understood that I was toying with his brothers and prepared to face the consequences of doing such a thing.

“You must choose one of us to tend to you while you remain in this house.” He said. I allowed myself to turn to look at him, seeing that he had stopped eating to rest his elbows upon the wooden table, his fingers knotted together, and his face pressed slightly against them.

“I am capable of tending to myself, sir. I understand what I must eat to maintain my body, what level of exercise is required to maintain my physical health, and I can bathe and clothe myself. I do not understand the statement.” I was delaying it, I knew I was. I was trying, in my mind, to remember their personalities well enough to decide which one would be the safer option, and which would allow me enough freedom that I could come up with a second escape plan.

“One of us will be tending to your other needs. There is no ‘no one’ option, so I suggest you choose carefully.”

“Understood, sir.” I turned away and stared at the plate of mostly uneaten spaghetti in front of me. From what I could recall, Yuma was unknown to have violent outbursts and would beat the main character with fists if he saw it right, Ruki was similar to Reiji in that he would not hesitate to lock the main character in a dungeon and whip them into shape at the slightest fault, Azusa derived pleasure both from being in pain and from causing pain and would cling like a puppy to anyone that drove him to happiness, and Kou had severe emotional switches and lived in the world of ‘give and take’.

However, as I thought about it I thought that the give and take world would be easier to manage and that Kou was also an idol which meant that he would be around less than the other brothers which would give me more time to plot and, if I was given a chance to follow him, it would be easier to get into the outside world and slip away when he dropped his guard. The only issue would be his emotional switches, but I thought to myself that so long as I maintained the rule of ‘give and take’ I should mostly survive them. I also thought of my brother before I became Yui and his many sharp changes in personality.

‘You think you can handle them?’

‘I do not yet know, but I will have more access to freedom if I go with Kou.’

“Oi, anybody home?” Yuma waved a large hand in front of me, as if to see if I was alive. I lifted my head and stared him dead in the eye.

“I have made my decision, sir.”

“And here I thought you were buffering.”

“Who have you chosen?”

“I do not know his name.” I did, of course, but if I said his name they would ask how I knew it and I would have to pretend to be a fan of his even though I had not read a single magazine or watched a single music video since I had come to Japan.

“I am Ruki Mukami.” They introduced themselves accordingly. I glanced at each of them, nodding at each introduction. “Now, who have you chosen?”

“If the information you have provided is accurate, then I have chosen the individual known as Kou Mukami to serve as my guardian.”

‘Making it sound like he’s your adopted father.’

‘He’s old enough to be my great grandfather. If he says whippersnapper I might actually break down.’

“M-neko-chan picked me!” He seemed overjoyed despite his earlier grumblings regarding my habit of talking before.

“I have not introduced myself.” I stood prudently and, solely to mock Cordelia, I saluted.

“Yui Komori reporting for duty.” Yuma burst out laughing, slapping Kou’s back with a ‘good luck’.

‘I cannot believe you just did that.’

‘Get used to it I’m doing it with everyone now.’

‘Dear god, why?’

‘It’s a character trait now.’ It was difficult to keep a straight face when I heard Ruki sigh next to me.

For the most part, I was left to my own devices with little argument from anyone else. I was not told the rules of the household and where I should and should not go, so I remained in the place that had become my room and sat on the chair facing the desk. I sat there for a while, simply staring at the grains of the desk, before I stood up and began unpacking my bag. I knew that I would not be leaving for some time as they would monitor me closely for at least a month having seen my attempt at an escape. They would know that I would try it again, but they did not know when I would do it and for that they would be incredibly cautious. It would do no good to appear ready to leave at any given moment.

Seven days’ worth of clothes and food came out of the bag along with the knife I had smuggled out of the school kitchens, my watercolours and sketch book, and the tea that Reiji had gifted me. I stared, for some time, at the tin and thought of what the Sakamakis would do in response to the fire and the later kidnapping. They would likely think that I went willingly, or perhaps they would see that the ambulance had been blown up and I had been pulled out in what they thought to be a state of injury which would have prevented me from escaping. Perhaps they would attempt to kidnap me back, or perhaps they would not see me as worth the effort and would leave me be. I did not know the answer, I almost did not want to know. So, instead of thinking on it further, I set the tea on the bed and observed what I had before me.

When there was another knocking upon the door, I had already anticipated that it was Kou with a bouquet of roses which he would give to me as a gift and demand my blood in return. I opened the door and, upon seeing him, saluted.

“Sir.”

‘You’re never going to stop doing that, are you?’

‘Absolutely not.’

“Geez, this isn’t the military.” He pushed the roses towards me. “These are for you.”

“Are they required for a vase in the dining room, sir?” I lowered my arm but did not take the roses. If I took them I knew he would take it that he was to get something in return.

“No, they’re just for you.”

“Are they required for a lesson?”

“No… they’re just for you.”

“I do not understand, sir.”

“Bloody hell, it’s a gift. Surely you know what a gift is?” He sounded exasperated, which made sense considering how difficult I was being.

“I do not understand why I would be given a gift as gifts suggest that the receiver has given the other something for them to be grateful for such as friendship, love, or another gift. I have given you nothing to earn a gift, so I am confused.”

‘I thought you were going to follow through with his give and take attitude.’

‘I am.’

‘Well you certainly aren’t avoiding his wrath this way.’

“So how about you give me in something in return?”

“I only have my art.”

“You have something else I’m much more interested in.” He stepped into my room, which I did not particular enjoy as he set the flowers on the bed along with my other stuff. He seemed to look over what I had on display before turning his attention back to me. “How about you give me your blood in return?”

“From what I have understood, my blood derives pleasure from vampires. It would not be a fair exchange to expect blood from me from something I did not request of derive interest in.”

‘Today we commemorate the loss of Yui Komori for being a smart mouth.’

As expected, he threw me to the ground. I almost flinched when the back of my head hit the ground, a dull throbbing running through my skull. I resisted, forcing my face straight when he loomed over me.

“It’d be smart in the future not to piss me off.” He did not growl it, he did not have the voice to do such a thing, but he did hiss it and I thought it appropriate to think of him much like the cats I knew he liked. They, too, had very sharp teeth which I briefly acknowledged were burrowed into my neck. It was not so much that I did not feel the pain as it was I had grown so used to it that it barely felt like a prick to me in this current time. With Cordelia in the background easing what attempts he made to make it worse, by moving around, I took to simply staring up at the ceiling. I had not noticed it, but there was a seashell pattern on the ceiling that I thought quite charming, cut short by the light fixture in the centre which posed as a small chandelier.

‘What is with vampires and chandeliers?’

‘Got to go all out with that drama.’

‘I’ll go into the bathroom and see one in there as well.’

‘Want to place a bet on it?’

When Kou pulled away, my blood dripped down from his chin into my mouth. Iron spread all around. I knew what blood tasted like to a human, but I had heard my blood being referred to as sweet by the vampires at some point, so I wondered what it tasted like to them. I imagined it was like a wine, but I could not taste wine in the past; all I tasted were the tannins. There was only one wine that I understood the flavour of and that was my sister’s wife’s wine. It was a strawberry wine that I drank the entire bottle of because it tasted so sweet. I imagined my blood tasted like that for the amount Kou had drank, and the amount others had drunk in the past. I would drink it in large amounts as well if I were a vampire, I concluded.

When he saw no reaction from me, his mood only seemed to worsen. He stood, sharply, and went to the bed. He tore the roses apart as I lifted myself from the ground, scattering the petals about and throwing the stalks at my feet.

“Look what you made me do.”

“I do not understand, from what I have observed the only person in control of one’s actions are oneself.”

‘Just keep digging this hole, eventually you’ll reach hell the way you’re going.’

Instead of getting angrier, he suddenly burst out laughing. I thought, grimly, of Kanato when he did this.

“You really are a robot.”

“I do not understand the statement, sir. I am a human being.”

“But you think like a robot. And you act like one, too.”

It should not have hurt. After all, I had been purposefully trying to aggravate him by increasing the obvious way in which I behaved. Still, it brought back memories of what I had been told much of my life. That I was insensitive, that I had no feelings, that I ought not to be included in things because I would not care one way or another whether I was there, and that people did not care to see me there at all. I was only brought into things because I was useful to the individuals there.

It was not much different here. Even here, I was only chosen by Reiji because I was useful in boosting his ego, and by Kou because he wanted to satisfy his adopted father’s needs as well as his own. I was never chosen for something simply because the other liked me, and once I had satisfied their needs I was soon abandoned. I was alone long before I became Yui Komori.

It was with this statement that Kou left me alone in the room. When the door was shut, I crouched down to pick up the petals that he had scattered about. One at a time, I worked in silence. There was nothing I could say.

‘If it is any consultation to you, although I was bound to you against my will I am glad to have known you.’ I let the smallest smile creep onto my face, a tender sensation in our shared heart.

‘Thank you.’

I understood that because the Mukamis were once human, they were still active during the day and so I slept the remainder of the night and woke up in the morning. I changed into a button up blouse and long green skirt. I never felt comfortable exposing my legs more than I had to, feeling a consciousness from my earlier life that had never quite left me. Even the leg that was exposed was quickly covered with thick tights regardless of how warm it was outside. I stared at my hands for a while, noting that the callouses had not returned, just as Reiji had planned. If I worked hard, I hoped that they would return even if only a little. For now, a pair of dark gloves would do me well. I pulled them on, clenching and unclenching my fists. I stared at it for a moment, as it sat innocently by my bedside, before taking the tin of apple and pear tea. I did not think that I would be able to show Reiji, but part of me felt compelled to show him that I had learned to make proper tea.

“What… are you… doing?” I recognised it as Azusa’s voice by the way he dragged out his sentences. I often wondered why he did such a thing. Part of me thought that it was because he had a stutter he was trying to conceal.

“I am making tea, sir.” I stated, not turning to speak to him though I felt him get closer. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him watching what I was doing. At that moment, I had finished boiling the kettle itself and was pouring the water into a teapot.

“What… type of tea?”

“It is apple and pear, sir.” I took a spoonful of the tea and dropped it into the pot, covering it up with the lid and allowing it to brew. I looked at the clock before directing my full attention to Azusa and saluting. “How may I assist you, sir?”

“Why do you… always salute?”

“I do not understand the statement, sir.”

“And… you always call everyone… sir…”

“Is it not the appropriate term for a superior, sir?” He did not seem to have anything to say to that, and I felt a touch of guilt. There was something about him I could best describe as an old dog. A sluggish gentility that, whilst I understood to be an illusion, I could not help but be charmed by.

“You… shouldn’t salute…”

“What is the appropriate greeting for a superior, sir?”

“Azusa… I would prefer if you called me… Azusa…”

“Understood, Mr. Azusa.” If he was frustrated, he was as placid as I was in expressing it, although he did raise his hand to his mouth in a seemingly thoughtful gesture and I did see a slight furrowing of the brows.

‘Maybe you should stop before you annoy anyone further.’

‘If I stop suddenly they’ll realise that it was a joke and get angry.’

Neither he nor I said anything as I waited for the tea to brew. When ten minutes passed I took out a cup and poured myself a cup. I dared not touch the sugar lest Yuma take it as a reason to fight me.

“If you wish, Mr Asuza, then you may have some tea yourself.”

“Thank… you…” I did not check into the kitchen to see whether he had taken some as I sat by the dining table and enjoyed the drink. I thought, in that moment, that perhaps Reiji would say it was an acceptable cup of tea and would allow me to finish drinking it.

In this household I was granted no such thing. My peace was very quickly disturbed by Yuma breaking into the room. I set the cup down and stood to attention with a firm salute.

“Sir.”

“You!” He pointed at me.

“Yes, sir?”

“You’re coming with me.”

“Understood, sir.” The tea was left on the dining table to get cold. It was a shame, but there would be more tea in the future.

I was led to the garden that I understood Yuma to devote a large majority of his time to. Though I was not the sole person to run the garden in my past life, I did assist a great deal in tending to the plants and as a result knew a large amount about them. I could see that the garden was well tended to and the vegetables that were growing there were incredibly healthy. If I had the nerve to, I would have asked what he did to get tomatoes without scars on them. As I had common sense, I stood to attention with my hands behind my back instead.

“What am I required to do, sir?”

“Help me harvest, sow.”

“Understood, sir.” Having helped my mother as often as I did in the past, I knew which vegetables were ready to be harvested and which were not almost immediately. I turned them over in my hands before twisting gently and removing from the stalk, placing them delicately in the basket that had been left between us.

“Why did you choose Kou?”

“I do not understand the statement.”

“It’s not a difficult question. Why did you pick Kou? You don’t know any of us so why him?”

“From what I have observed, Kou Mukami is a model and a singer. Based upon this, I have calculated that the amount of time he spends at home is significantly reduced which would allow me more freedom to do as I please.”

“Wow.” He scoffed.

“Is there an error in my statement, sir?”

“Most girls would just say it was because he looked friendly or he was handsome.”

“I do not understand how an individual can look ‘friendly’.” It was not something I had ever understood. No matter how somebody looked, I never found them unfriendly or friendly. I understood that body language usually told how a person was feeling, that they would be closed off if they crossed their arms or if they scowled, but I also understood that many people knew how to fake body language and that in itself it was not a good way to understand a person’s motives or, indeed, their personality. I only understood this because I often falsified body language in my past life, so I would be able to fit in more. Perhaps it was because of this that I did not trust anyone else.

“You really are a robot.”

“I am a human being.”

“Then start acting like one.” I put a tomato into the basket.

“How does one ‘act human’?”

“For a start, at least pretend you have emotions.” It was not the first time I had heard the sentence. I pulled the cucumber with a bit more force than was necessary.

“I have emotions.”

“You could have fooled me.”

“Emotions are not practical in a hostage situation, especially when those emotions will be used as tools against you, sir.”

“It might work better for you if you pretend for Kou. He gets testy when he doesn’t get the reaction he wants.”

“He will know that I am faking my emotions and become offended if I suddenly start acting out of character.”

“Fine, don’t take my advice.”

“Understood, sir.” I let a small smile escape my face. His scoff told me he had seen it.

“You’re pretty cheeky for a human.”

“Apologies, sir.”

“At least you’re good at tending to a garden.” I had finished harvesting and stood to attention when he picked up the basket with the vegetables inside. “You’ll get to taste my hard work this evening. Look forward to it.” I saluted.

“Understood, sir.” He sighed. He, at least, understood that I was toying with him somewhat. I was relieved that he did not seem to take offense. It was probably the closest I would get to being at ease with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yui the spiteful child.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yui observes the world around her.

CHAPTER TEN

I first became aware of the fact that my actions had consequences when I learned that the school had been shut for repairs because of the extent of the damage that the fire had done to it. Although it was not expected to be shut for an incredibly long time, for the time it was shut I was expected to follow Kou through his work routine. I suspected that he had either been listening in, or that Yuma had told him what I had said whilst I had been working in the garden, and he was being thorough in ensuring that I did not get as much freedom as I had hoped for.

Still, I dressed as though I were going to work and tied my hair back into a low bun. I made sure to be clean and proper and put on smart shoes as I stood to attention at the front door by the time he made his way down.

“Man, you don’t look cute at all.” He sighed dramatically as he opened the door.

“We are going to your work place, I do not see the purpose in looking ‘cute’, sir.”

I had never had an interest in the idol industry and had only heard negative things about it in Japan with strict rules and regulations on how one should eat, dress, and behave with the recollection of one idol having to apologise for being molested. As such, when we entered the office building that was his work station I did not have any particularly positive thoughts in mind but remained silent on the matter as we stood side by side in the elevator.

“I’ve got three shoots and a song to complete today so I don’t want you interrupting. The team will keep an eye on you, but you aren’t allowed to leave the building. They’ll let you know when we can have a break.”

“Understood, sir.” If he wanted to say anything, it was cut off by the ping of the bell. I let him step out first, following shortly behind him.

The studio was full of what I could only describe as colourful people. Having been an archaeologist in the past, I could understand colourful people well as the eccentric sort was drawn both to the arts and to the disturbed. More often than not, the people before me had bright unnatural hair colours with one lady having rainbow coloured hair.

“Hey everyone, this is Yui. Say hi Yui.” I saluted.

“Reporting for duty.” I could feel his annoyance behind the smile as he pressed his hands against my shoulders. I could see varying degrees of amusement on the faces of the people in front of me.

“Isn’t she cute?” The woman with the rainbow hair stood away from the group to have a closer look at me.

“She has a sweet face, and beautiful eyes. Maybe we should involve her later on.” The last part was said playfully. “We’d have to get her out of those dull clothes, though.”

“I was informed by Mr. Mukami that my attire was not appropriate for his work station. If it is proving to be troublesome I will return to the household and change into clothes considered more appropriate.” I would not, of course, unless I was feeling especially spiteful.

“No, no, if we decide to use you we’ll probably have your size here.” She waved dismissfully.

“Understood, madam.”

The group, I learned, were just the crew involved in dressing Kou up for modelling. They organised his hair, his make-up, and his clothes. I stood in the corner of the room as they sorted him, observing how they worked. I thought it an interesting thing despite my previous disinterest in the idol industry. The amount of work that went into creating the perfect appearance was something that was worth appreciation, and though I said nothing I enjoyed their conversations.

“What do you think, Yui?”

“I do not understand the question, madam.”

“Do you think the colours suit Kou?” I turned my eyes to Kou. As an artist, I understood colours very well and knew when colours went with what skin tone. I thought about simply standing there and saying that he looked fine in whatever he chose to wear, but upon seeing the lilac overcoat I decided to instead walk, arms rigid by my side, to him. I took his arm in my gloved hand and turned it over, lifting the sleeve to expose his wrist.

“Mr. Mukami’s skin tone is fair with a cool undertone. As such, neon colours, yellow, and lilac make him look washed out. Further still, dark colours and white make him look paler than he is and sickly, and silver should be avoided as it is too light against his skin. It would be preferred if jewel tones were used against his skin or, if preferred, berry colours in order to bring colour to his skin.”

They were quiet, and I wondered if I had said too much and had offended them in some manner. After all, they were professionals and had dedicated their lives to such a thing and here I was insulting them to their faces. I let go of his wrist and turned to them.

“See, I knew there was a reason that Kou brought you here.” Said a woman with purple hair who’s name I learned was Haruka.

“Madam?”

“Alright, Kou, you heard the lady. Get back in there and try the dark purple coat.” Strangely enough, Kou was silent. I returned to my corner as he changed and when he was brought out again I was once again asked what my opinion was on what he was wearing.

“You think this will be good for the magazine?”

“I do not know, madam, I have not read magazines with idols in them.” The looks of horror on their face almost pulled a smile from me.

Though I remained neutral and did not actively engage in conversation, they sought to talk to me as often as possible. They were friendly and, I dared to say, I rather liked them despite who they were associated with.

The lady with rainbow hair, Tomoko, pulled me away at the second shoot with the intentions of involving me in the shoot itself. I had never been particularly confident with my appearance in the past life and this had not changed much as Yui, but I thought for certain Kou would catch wind of the insecurity if I resisted in any way and I did not want to give him any weapons that would actually be efficient against me.

The shirt and dress did not derive any complaints from me, but I did not like the shoes as the heels were too thin for my liking and I feared they would break. I pretended I was not fazed, but I could hear Cordelia sniggering as I silently lamented the suffering that was brought upon me by the shoes as I was sat in the seat next to Kou who was in a similar red and black attire. He winked at me.

“You’re about to become famous.” I said nothing, feeling the tension in my shoulders as my hair bun was undone and the hair combed through.

“You need to sue your last hairdresser, you’re nothing but split ends and the hair is uneven.”

“I have never been to a hairdresser. I cut the hair off with a knife, madam.”

“Why would you do that!?”

“Until recently, I have been pretending to be a boy and I did not have the money to pay for a hairdresser, madam.” She gave Kou a glance, but he shrugged.

“It was before I got to know her.”

“I don’t care how long it takes, I will fix this mess.” She declared.

“That will not be necessary, madam. Mr. Mukami is on a tight schedule for two photo shoots and a song to be recorded this afternoon. It would take too long to tend fully to my hair.” She seemed to want to rebel against my statement but sighed instead.

“If we tie it into a side ponytail and fluff it out it’ll be less noticeable…” She said to herself as she combed out the curly mass that was my hair, a frown clear on her face. I ignored Kou’s stare and merely watched my reflection.

I was supposed to rest my hands and my cheek against Kou’s shoulder and stare at the camera. I did as I was instructed but the photographer did not seem satisfied.

“Try again. Open your mouth slightly and try to look playful.”

“Understood, sir.” I opened my mouth slightly as he instructed, but I did not necessarily know how to ‘look playful’ with my mouth open. Neither did he, it seemed, as he told me to shut my mouth again and just smile. Once again, I obeyed, and he seemed to be satisfied with my smile. He then told me to take some pictures on my own. “Understood, sir.”

I did not expect to be paid for doing anything that day, but when he decided to do some pictures of me on my own I wanted the money.

“A genuine smile this time. Think of something happy.”

“Understood, sir.” With my arm rested on a block at head level, and my fingers intertwined, I tried to recall something that made me happy.

I did not necessarily live an unhappy life, but I struggled. It was strange that I did not think of a single human, but instead reflected on the family dog. She was a Jack Russell, and an old one at that. I thought of her curled at my feet by the fireplace, barking in her sleep as she chased imaginary rabbits before she barked loud enough to wake herself up. The camera flashed.

“See, you have a beautiful smile. You should do it more often.” Kou had commented which drove me to render my expression neutral once more. I was allowed to step away from the stage as Kou took over once more.

I was glad to be out of the clothes and back into my dull clothes. I did not choose them because they were dull, but I did prefer the neutral colours because they allowed me to blend in better. Break was allowed after the third shoot where we were brought to the cafeteria area.

It was there that I saw many studio workers and also several models. I only knew they were models because Kou dragged me to sit with them, introducing me to them. I understood that he had worked with everyone in the studio at least once, and many of them were quite keen on him. They eyed me with curiousity, and many with suspicion.

“Yui Komori reporting for duty.” I said with a salute. I knew they would snigger and did not let myself be bothered by it. The purpose of the introduction was to annoy Kou, after all.

Though most did not seem to like me, perhaps seeing me as a threat after Kou stated at I was actually living with him, some seemed to at least pity me and were attempting to get along with me.

“Any preferences on what to eat?”

“Water should be sufficient in allowing me to work, madam.” Truthfully, I did not know what was on the menu and I never trusted others near my food. With so many looking eager to tear me apart, I was not particularly excited about letting my guard down long enough to eat anyway.

“Geez, you are just like a doll.”

“I do not understand the statement, madam.” I said to the girl that had spoken. She was likely the same age as I was as Yui, but in my eyes they were all little girls with little experience of the world. I often thought such things of people that picked each other apart for their own confidence, and that was what I felt in their whispers. They did not always speak directly to me, but they spoke often of me even though I was right there. Had I not known that I would get into trouble, my past self would have threatened them with a chair by that point.

“Do you have a preference for literally anything?”

“I prefer mature people to immature ones.” I stated.

‘Oo, geez, now that was a stab if I’ve ever seen one.’

She flushed, standing abruptly to march away. Some of her companions sniggered though I kept my expression neutral.

“I do not understand why she left so suddenly.” I did, though, and I caught the sly expression on Kou’s face.

‘It seems he’s caught onto your act.’

I used to have a friend that thoroughly enjoyed J-Pop and K-Pop and she would regularly listen to them while we were driving in her car, often during long journeys or towards the nearest town where we would stop to either buy ice cream or eat foreign food. She did not understand my own music taste, thinking it very peculiar and, in her own opinion, somewhat menacing. Of course, I only showed her one of my songs and I thought to myself very proudly that I had a large range of music; I just did not focus so well when there were lyrics involved and there was nothing, I craved more than focus.

I thought, as I stood to attention in the studio, that I would have preferred if I did not understand the lyrics to Kou’s song as I would be able to make up the lyrics on my own. Or I would have preferred no lyrics at all as the song was perfectly fine without his voice. Still, my opinion on such things was not necessary and having never been a particularly good singer myself I would not voice my opinion for fear of him telling me I should join in.

The good thing was that he was often too focused on his work to pay attention to me and only paused every now and then in order to change lyrics or to change the tone in which he sang. It partly disturbed me that it was such a seductive song considering his age and part of me hoped that his fan base did not include older women, although I suspected that it was broader than I thought it was.

‘You do realise that he only looks young? Like you.’

‘Still makes my skin crawl.’

‘Seems there are things that can unsettle you after all.’

‘Most of those things are things that you have done.’ She did not say much to that as I left the room. He said I could explore the building, and that was what I would do.

I had found a phone in the reception area which I used to call Sakura. I had taken a very long time to memorise her mobile number, but I had done it eventually. I did not want to leave notes around that could be traced which was why I had taken so much time to learn it, and now I was glad that I had done so, punching in the numbers and waiting for it to ring.

“Hello, Sakura Minamoto here.”

“Are you safe?”

“Yui!? You’re alive!?”

“Affirmative. It’s a Charlie Foxtrot situation. I will be able to communicate with you when the school opens again.”

“Yui are you still in danger? Reiji came to my house demanding-”

“Affirmative. Signing off, Mr Kou Mukami will come looking for me soon.”

“Wait, Yui-,” I hung up. Though I had looked around, I still had a suspicion that Kou was capable of listening in on me, so I kept the information limited. It was my hope that she would take the lead on ‘Kou Mukami’ and provide the group with more information on how to deal with the situation.

‘What if the Sakamakis catch wind of this?’

‘That is what I am hoping for.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘They will be too busy dealing with each other that at some point they will drop security around me to tackle the threat. Better yet, they might reduce the population of vampires by killing each other.’ I did not get my hopes up too high, however, because part of me suspected that Karl was anticipating such a thing and was watching to see what I would do next.

‘You can never let your guard down around that man. He knows your every move before you do.’

‘But I know how he plays this game as well.’ He did not know how I knew what I did, and that probably frustrated him more than any other part of the game. He could rearrange the pieces and get me into check, but he could not make me yield. He could start the game as many times as he liked, from the very beginning if he had to, but he could not erase the memories because they were not the memories of Yui. They were my memories, and I was more than the pawn he expected me to be.

‘We’re going to break the game.’

‘And make it our own.’ No matter the price, we would escape.

Kou had finished by the time I had returned, which somewhat surprised me as I had only spoken for a short time and I thought for certain he would take longer. Perhaps he was on edge because I had contacted somebody, or perhaps he was just that eager to punish me for a crime he was certain I had committed.

‘Being sadists, it is natural they look for any excuse.’

‘They need new hobbies. Clearly singing isn’t doing it for him.’

“Back from your adventure, M-neko-chan?” He sang sweetly, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me close.

“Affirmative, sir.”

“Geez, you even talk like that on the phone. Where were you raised?”

“I was raised in Kobe, sir.” He sighed. Of course, he understood that I was toying with him now and I knew I would be punished for it, but I continued to do it. It was better than sarcasm which would certainly get me beaten. At least this way I was somewhat behaving. “Have we completed today’s duties?”

“Yeah, let’s go somewhere fun.”

“Understood, sir.”

He made sure that I walked alongside him even though I found myself more at ease behind him. I did not like taking up the pavement with the streets so crowded, but he did not seem to care in the slightest for such a hinderance we were being. He, at least, did not force my arms from behind my back as we walked side by side, although I thought for certain he would take my hand at some point to convince people we were a couple.

“So, you have no favourite foods at all?”

“I have no preferences.” There was food that I did not like, but that was not the question that he asked and the less information I gave him the better.

‘I wonder if I’m lactose intolerant here as well…’

‘You’ve had enough food with milk in it.’

‘Yes, but I had food with milk in it when I was intolerant as well. I can have some and I never went over that limit here.’

We settled into a small cat café on the corner of a street with green window sills and green chairs. I thought it a rather cute place and would have enjoyed it alone where I felt safe.

“Please don’t tell me you’re going to have just water this time.”

“I do not have the money to pay you back, sir.” I stated as a large white cat jumped onto my lap. “I will not put myself in debt.”

He ran a hand through his hair, and I could see the annoyance on his face. I remained neutral to his irritation as blue eyes stared intently at me. Then I remembered.

‘His eye can see the truth.’

‘What?’

‘I forgot he can read emotions.’

‘You forgot something like that!?’ I did not let amusement take hold of me. The issue Kou would have with me was not only the fact that I rarely expressed intense emotions, but that I was fully capable of suppressing them when I needed to as well. Although I was certain I would know when he was using his eye because it would glow red. Unless that was another bonus of the game to let you know when you were being manipulated.

‘Let us hope that is not true…’ The cat struck against my chest three times, demanding my attention. It was strange to think I used to be afraid of cats, but in my later years that fear had faded and now it was entirely absent from my life. Like all animals, I simply felt the compulsive urge to pet it.

The cat purred with delight when I lifted my arm and began to scratch behind its ear. It leaned into the scratch, its eyes closed in contentment. I heard a snap and turned my attention to Kou who had his phone out.

“You’re making me jealous M-neko-chan. Why can’t you be that friendly with me?”

“I do not understand, sir.”

He showed me the picture and I resisted the urge to cringe. On my face was a slight smile. No false smile either, but a genuine one with the crinkle in the eyes. I could almost fool myself into thinking I was a normal teenager, but I knew better.

The cat jumped off with the waving of its tail and a smug expression on its face; its mission complete.

‘I wonder if that was a familiar…’ I would not put it past Kou to do such a thing to get a reaction out of me and made a note to mute my expressions in the future.

“Don’t be like that, you’re cute! There’s no need to be shy about it.”

“I am not shy.” He clearly wanted to tease me further, but three figures came walking up to us. I did not recognise their uniforms but quickly concluded that they were fans of Kou Mukami by the way they flustered and stammered, a conclusion confirmed when they asked if he was Kou.

He was a good actor, I would not lie about that. I thought himself very similar to how I used to be in how I would play the role of the overly energetic in public in order to avoid suspicions. Years of studying body language and how to truly falsify my emotions and I could see it clearly in him. I could see how even though the crinkles appeared in the corners of his eyes there was no light there; only a muted disinterest.

‘Perhaps that is why I do not like him so much.’

‘They do say that you hate the traits in others that you see in yourself.’ I was often inclined to disagree with the statement, but here I found a truth in it. I looked at Kou’s performance and I saw myself reflected back at me.

“Who’s this?” Asked one of the girls. Kou reached out to stop me, but I stood to attention before he could.

“Yui Komori, madam.” I heard him physically smack his forehead as I saluted.

‘You’re enjoying this way too much.’

“Are you a friend of Mr Kou’s?”

“Negative, madam. I am his bodyguard.”

“Body-,” He tried to cut in, but the girl began to speak again.

“But you seem so young?”

“Affirmative, madam. It is so I can remain with him in school, also.”

“That makes sense…”

They thanked us and left. I sat down and felt Kou’s piercing stare on me. If I looked up, I was certain that I would see his eye glowing then.

“So, you’re my bodyguard now?”

“If I stated we were friends then they would quickly assume that at some point we may establish a deeper relationship which would lead to trouble in the future, so I decided to establish a professional relationship in order to prevent harm to myself or to your future if they choose to spread the information, sir.”

“You could have just said that you panicked.”

“I did not panic, sir. Each of my statements was carefully calculated.” There was a look of vague disinterest on his face when I finally looked up at him which suddenly turned sly.

‘That look reminds me a little too much of Laito.’

‘What is he up to this time?’

Though I did not eat or drink at the café or during Lunch, he took my blood in payment for the fact that he had taken me out at all. After that, he told me to stay in my room as he would be back for me. I laid down on the bed, steady exhaustion taking hold of me. I was hungry, but I had gone longer without food. Having lived in an environment where there was a steady flow of food for as long as I had let me briefly forget what hunger was like and I solely disliked it. I hated vulnerability. It was the same reason I disliked needing to go to the bathroom, or having a period, or having to shower, or having to sleep. They left me open to attack at any point and it set me on edge. I hated every moment of it.

Still, I let my eyes shut and listened to the sounds of my bedroom. Since we were far from the city, I could hear no cars driving by, but I could hear the creaks of the floorboards and the muffled voices of the vampires downstairs. I could hear the hum of my light above and the ticking of the alarm clock I was yet to use.

I could smell the faint musk of Kou, almost like sandalwood, mixed with the spray that had been used to make my room smell just enough like lavender to make it easier for me to sleep. I had found it in the drawer and had used it ever since as it reminded me of my old home.

I ran my hands across the bedsheets and could feel their tenderness underneath my delicate palms. Not satiny or silky, but the soft comforts of quality wool. I knew it to be a pink tartan which offended my nature as I preferred muted and darker colours. Underneath that I knew there to be pinker blankets still, and I knew there to be a memory foam mattress as I sunk into the mattress instead of springing off it. It was strange to have a bed after having spent so long without one, so I naturally felt like I was floating when I was on it.

I let out a steady sigh and opened my eyes. Kou was looming over me.

“Hello.” I stated, though I was certain he had seen my brief jump.

“Dinner’s ready.”

“Affirmative.”

“Stop that. You’ve proven your point.”

“Understood, sir.”

“You’re still doing it.”

“This is just how I speak, sir.”

“Then at least stop calling me ‘sir’. I’m Kou.”

“Understood, Mr. Kou.” A moment ticked by.

Another moment ticked by.

And another.

Eventually, he sighed.

“You’re very stubborn, M-neko-chan. I’ll get you to be cute somehow.”

His lack of punishment made me only suspicious as to what plans he had in store and how I would have to face the consequences of his actions. It only made me feel tired and I glanced back at the bed, only briefly, to consider just sleeping the remainder of my life.

Unfortunately, he pulled me away before I could think on it further.

Dinner was as rambunctious as it had been the night before and I was, for the most part, ignored. Thankfully it was not spaghetti, so I managed to get actual food in my stomach. Since Reiji was not there to stop me, I changed the hands of the knife and fork and ate as I normally did.

“I thought you were right-handed.” Ruki commented at some point as I cut into the steak.

“I can use both my hands, sir.”

“I can see that.” He remarked, not saying anything until he finished chewing. “I thought you were found in the forests of Scotland. Where did you learn to eat normally?”

“I had only been in that forest for two months. Beyond that point, I was frequently travelling. I learn through observation, sir.” A baby potato and carrots.

“Is this how you were able to time your escape so the Sakamakis would not be able to find you?”

“Affirmative, sir.”

“Do you truly believe that such a trick will work on us as well?” I set my knife and fork down and slowly rose from my chair. As I looked down on him, I finally let one emotion bubble forth.

And a confident smile appeared on my face.

“I do not need that. I just need to wait.” I left them with that message alone.

I wondered whether they would remember what I said when the time came. Part of me hoped that they would.

When sleep finally came it came steady with my limbs slowly falling useless and numb. My mind faded and struggled to maintain consciousness even when I felt a solid presence in front of me. I could not see in the darkness but knew it to be there and did not let my eyes turn away from it.

I did not like being watched no matter the situation, but it was worse when I was being watched as I was about to fall asleep.

“You are far more persistent in this game than I thought you would be, Yui Komori.”

I took satisfaction in Karl Heinz’s irritated voice as I finally drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay I was doing an excavation and then I went up to the Scottish Highlands to cause some mischief. A sword was involved.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look at Yui from a different person's lenses.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

September 21st, 2013

“It is difficult to describe Yui Komori. Certainly, in appearance, she is rather noticeable. She is slightly below average height and is quite thin. She has pale skin, pale hair, and pale eyes; she looks washed out compared to her background. As though she is not quite there. Everything else, though, is still a mystery to me even though I knew her since childhood.

She has always been exceptionally smart. Though I do not recall much of our childhood, I do recall that she would read to me complicated stories in nursery. She understood every word and there was no stammer in the way she spoke. Everything she did she excelled in, yet despite how bright she was she was never really noticed. She stood out yet blended in; it is difficult to explain.

I also recall that she was very distant even then. It was not so much an aloofness as it was a disinterest. She had a particular smile, I noted, that was not really a smile. The corners of her mouth were upturned, but her eyes were relaxed, and I saw nothing behind them. As though she felt nothing at all. It was like staring into the eyes of a dead fish.

When I saw her again in high school I was overjoyed. Though I had moved on from her disappearance, it still brought me great joy to see her again. So much so that I failed to observe how her reappearance had made public news. I saw that her eyes had not changed at all, and though she should be happy to return to safety there was still absence in her landscape. Yui Komori, despite everything, still did not seem to exist on this plane.

When she told me about her situation, I did everything I could to help her. It was only natural I do so, even if she were a stranger, I would do the same. It simply is not right to let somebody suffer like that, and though she showed no signs of pain or trauma I thought that she was locking it away. She had such a talent for hiding herself away so nobody would know what was truly on her mind that I thought she was doing the same here. That to call to me for help was only the natural response of somebody that felt cornered.

I heard about the news of what happened to her ambulance from a friend. He called me immediately saying that the ambulance had been overturned and Yui was not in the ambulance when authorities came to rescue her. For all I know, she could have been kidnapped. She could have escaped the ambulance and fallen off the bridge into the river below, though I do not know how she could have fallen off the railing. Perhaps she chose to climb over the railing to escape the people that attacked the ambulance, although I do not think she can swim. I never saw her swim before; she would always stand by the edges of the pool but never go in.

No, I have not heard from her since then. They are reporting her as missing once again, although I am certain that I saw her with a man that had blonde hair and a pink jacket. I got curious, naturally, and waited on the same bench I sat at when I saw her then. I waited every day until I saw her again with the same man.

I know that man to be Kou Mukami.

It is a strange thing, I think, that her absence from the ambulance would not be reported. And that her face is not on every news station right now. You would think that would be done almost immediately, especially considering who she has been staying with until now.

Does it not bother you, sir, that she would simply disappear and reappear with such a high-profile person and yet not only has the news outlets failed to report how she is not with her foster family, but they have failed to report that she is with such a person now?

I think it is suspicious.

I have only seen one news outlet report the incident. Only one that reported, not only the fire, but the ambulance crash and the missing girl. Only one that has interviewed those around her and knocked on the Sakamaki door trying to figure out why she would go missing.

Only you.

And you are being silenced right now. Or you will be, once they realise that you have been asking questions. If they do not shut you up with money, they will shut you up with a bullet. Or perhaps a car accident. I would not take your car home tonight, who knows what is being done to it right now.

Make sure you are armed, sir, because these people are more powerful, and more dangerous, than is understood within your world. These people have been doing this for a long time, and they do it well.

…

You are not going to stop, are you?

I am sorry, I should not have done anything to catch your interest. Now you are in danger as well. Do you have a family?

Everyone has a family.

Although, I am not sure if Yui Komori has a family. I also find it strange how her father has not come looking for her. I always thought it strange how she looked nothing like her father either. Of course, she actually moved into my area when she turned three-years-old, so I assumed that her mother had either divorced her father, or she had died. Perhaps she looked similar to her mother, but that did not seem right to me.

It was also strange how, on the few occasions I went to her house, I cannot recall once seeing a picture of her mother. It could be chalked up to grief, but I do not believe it. No, everything regarding Yui Komori is very strange.

Maybe if we find out about what happened to her while she was gone, we can find out why these people are after her. Maybe if we find out her past, we can find out who she is.

I hope so.

This whole process is exhausting, but I cannot stay any longer. Although I cannot be connected to her in any suspicious manner, I am just a high school girl after all, the fact that I am asking these questions and have seen these things is enough for me to be considered a threat.

I suppose it is a good thing my father is a detective; it is probably the only thing keeping me alive right now.

Can I go now?

Yes, it was nice talking to you.

Please, remember to be careful on the way home.”

Sakura was an interesting girl. She had sharp eyes and kept her shoulders hunched. She had long since abandoned her school uniform and had dressed in an unassuming coat and jeans, hair tied back and hidden under a baseball cap. Although she did not need them, she wore glasses.

She did not need to tell me the reasons why, she had explained the situation with the girl known as Yui Komori already, and I quickly concluded that she was hiding herself from the people that had taken her friend.

I drew on the cigarette, smoke billowing into my office. I watched as it twisted and twirled into the air, before fading into nothing. Smoke did not immediately disappear even when you could no longer see it, it lingered even when naked to the human eye.

Yui Komori was a mystery. It was difficult to get information on her as the Sakamaki’s were close-lipped. When I told them, I was investigating her disappearance I could feel the static fury in the air. They did not know who would want to take her, however, but they did suggest that it was only because of them that the news of her disappearance was not reported.

‘That answers one question…’ Yui Komori was supposed to be a secret. What secrets was she keeping that she had to be kept away from the public profile?

Perhaps she had scandalous information on the Sakamaki household and that was why she was under their careful watch. Perhaps the people had taken her away to get this information.

‘Miss Minamoto mentioned Kou Mukami.’

He was quite well-known in the idol industry. My own daughter was a huge fan of his and owned a great deal of his merchandise. What relationship he had with the Sakamaki household was not publicly known. It did not matter how far back into the records I went, I could not find anything.

‘No friendships, but no scandals either.’ If it were not for the matter of Yui Komori, they would be entirely unconnected. She brought them together with her very existence.

I had to look for some time, several hours I was certain, before I found the missing report for Yui Komori as a child. Unlike her disappearance now, this one was a large-scale missing report. It was posted on every newspaper. Her calm, level face stared back at me.

Sakura was right about one thing.

Her eyes.

I could see nothing behind them. Even as a child, there was nothing there.

‘How could a seven-year-old look so empty?’ I rubbed my arms, goose bumps creeping up to my shoulders.

There was a number to call. I wondered, for a moment, if it still worked. I figured there was very little to lose and decided to write down the mobile number.

When I called, a man was on the other side of the phone.

“Hello, who is this?”

“Ah yes this is Daisuke Touya. Is this Seiji Komori?” The man took a while to answer, but he did eventually.

“Yes, that is my name. What is your business?”

“It’s about your daughter, Yui Komori.” I waited for his response.

He hung up.

That was suspicious. What father would hang up immediately after hearing his daughter’s name?

‘A father that wants nothing to do with that daughter.’ I concluded, staring at the phone. Why would he cause such an uproar about her initial disappearance only to be completely silent when she returned, and equally mute upon her disappearing again? ‘Unless it was not a matter of her returning to safety, but returning to her captors…’

But there was still the question of why she was being captured at all. Why did they need her? What was her purpose?

The car journey to Kobe was one filled with concerning thoughts. Sakura had warned me to check my car for damage, and there had been a fault with the brakes. I was travelling in a rent car and had everything checked twice. By my side was my assistant, Ai Miyazaki. She was closer to Yui’s age but had more energy and enthusiasm than the girl seemed to have. If I put the two next to each other, I imagined that Yui would be mistaken for the older person.

“So, what’s the mystery with Miss Komori?” I turned down the radio so I could hear her better.

“Yui Komori mysteriously vanished eleven years ago, only to reappear in an entirely different city with an entirely different family, the Sakamakis, with no explanation as to why she had initially disappeared. Shortly after her return to society a fire broke out in the school she had been studying at which caused her severe enough injuries that she had to be taken into hospital in an ambulance.” We stopped at a red light. I watched the light as people crossed the street, taking no notice of the people around me. I could only see them out of the corners of my eyes, blurs of vibrant colours. “However, that ambulance never made it to hospital and was mysteriously overturned on the bridge towards the hospital. When another ambulance made it onto the scene the two drivers were dead and Yui was missing. Despite her disappearance and large profile, no appeal was made to the public to confirm her location. Last week, she was spotted walking alongside Kou Mukami to his work station.”

“That is definitely suspicious!” Ai declared, fists clenched. I only glanced at her for a moment, but she had a particular look about her that showed her frustration with the situation; lower lip pushed forward and already round cheeks puffed outward.

“That alone is suspicious, but I contacted the father not too long. When I mentioned his daughter’s name, he immediately hung up.”

“Is that why we’re travelling to Kobe?”

“Yes, we’re going to the Komori household. It seems that, despite his daughter disappearing and moving somewhere else, he still lives in the same area.” The light turned green and I drove forward.

It was quaint neighbourhood. There was a park just beyond the cul-de-sac and the front gardens were well maintained. From what I observed of the area, everyone seemed to know each other. Ai and I went to different neighbours asking the same questions.

“What do you remember of the daughter?” The woman I was talking to was hosing her car when I asked this, lifting her eyes up to the sky as she tried to recall the girl.

“Well, she’s rather difficult to remember. She was a pretty little thing, but she didn’t stand out much. She mostly kept to herself…”

It was the same story for most of the neighbours. She was well-behaved and kind, but otherwise kept to herself. Most knew her appearance and little else.

Ai had little luck when it came to asking the neighbours for details. When we both met at the end of the neighbourhood there was no new information to be garnered. Yui was unassuming and mostly forgotten.

“Maybe we should go to the school and see if we can get any information there…” Ai suggested. I could not think of anything else and we agreed to go there.

“I heard you’re looking for information on the girl.” Came a sharp voice. It came so suddenly I could not help but jolt. Behind us was an elderly man with a cane in his hand. He was thin, and almost completely bald. “Come inside and have a cup of tea.”

The wallpaper was from the seventies, and the tea was strong. The dining table had several stacks of magazines and newspapers scattered about it, the light from the window behind the man casting a strong shadow over it. I tried to get rid of the foul taste of the tea with milk, but it did little to help. Ai did not drink her tea at all.

“What do you know of Yui Komori?” I said as he finally settled down. He dragged the chair closer to the table, resting his elbows upon it, bringing intertwined fingers towards his lips.

“She and Seiji Komori moved into the neighbourhood when she was three-years-old. From what I understand, they initially came from a place called Tsurui in Hokkaido.”

“Hokkaido? That’s quite a distance to travel…” Ai stated, raising a hand to her lips.

“That’s what I told her when she told me.” The man responded. “Every day after school she would come to my house to learn from me. I was a retired teacher by that point, you understand, and specialised in other languages. By the time she left she excelled in French, German, Romanian, and English.”

French, German, and English I could understand, but I did not understand why she would learn Romanian. It was just as baffling as the concept of a seven-year-old mastering so many languages.

“You said ‘left’.” Ai questioned.

“That is correct.” The man said, before taking hold of his teacup. “She told me, on the day of her disappearance, that she was going to leave then. She told me not to tell a single soul that she intended to leave.”

“She- she left of her own accord?” What would cause her to leave? What would push her to abandon her own home and disappear for eleven years?

“Yes. She said she was being groomed for a particular politician’s sons and that many other girls had gone before her. She told me she was going to leave for a while, and when she returned, she was going to destroy it all. Those were her words, to me, at seven-years-old. Most seven-year-olds would not know what grooming even meant.”

“Why would she tell you something like this?”

“Well, I imagine it was done out of curiousity.”

“Curiousity?”

“See, she understood that Mr Komori was having her monitored. I imagine she wanted to see to what extent he was observing to see if he would apprehend her before she escaped. Her experiment seemed to be a success as none of the people involved were able to find her.”

We left the man’s house with a disturbed energy about us. Yui Komori knew she was being conditioned and knew that her father was not her father. She had planned her escape and had successfully pulled through with it for as long as she had. She showed an intelligence well beyond her age, and yet we were no closer to concluding who she was.

The man stopped me by the shoulder before I could leave the house entirely.

“Oh, before you disappear, Miss Komori told me one more thing.” His watery eyes stared into my own. “She told me that all previous victims were provided by the church. And the best way to make somebody disappear without question was to make it seem like they went willingly.”

We did not speak on the journey back to the office. There was little that could be said, the mere presence of what had been suggested earlier on enough to weigh down on us both. This went well beyond the disappearance of one girl. This went into crimes that could have stretched back decades. This was something altogether wicked.

And dangerous.

“If you want to leave now, I won’t stop you.” I told Ai when we parked at the office car park.

“You’re telling me to tuck my tail between my legs and run like a coward?” Her hands were clenched on her lap, the fear evident on her face as she stared straight ahead. I could see her shaking and knew that she was afraid. “No, I cannot stand back idly and allow something like this to continue on. We cannot let those girls be abandoned, and we cannot let more girls suffer.” She turned her head, staring at me. Her eyes were aflame, determination set firm in them. “I’m with you until the end.”

I did not necessarily expect her to run away; it simply was not in her nature. Ai never ran from a fight, she was the sort to push through any difficulty with all the obstinacy of a bear. Nothing could stop her once she set her eyes on something.

“Take care returning home tonight. I’m not sure if we are being watched right now.”

“Right, I’ll be careful.” She opened the door and climbed out. I could see her leaving through the side mirror, disappearing into the darkness.

I sat in the car for some time before I finally climbed out myself. When I started to investigate the disappearance of Yui Komori, I did not anticipate delving into something as disturbed as this. It was already suggested that Yui was being conditioned for a politician’s sons. I imagined that this politician was Tougo Sakamaki.

‘But what role do the Mukamis play in this story?’ I dragged my hand across my face, letting out a steady sigh before opening the door to my home.

Miyuki was already fast asleep on the sofa. She had likely been waiting for me to come home. I did not expect to take as long as I did. The television was still on and I could see various snacks scattered about her.

“You’re going to end up as big as me if you don’t pace yourself, Miyuki.” I said to her sleeping form as I lifted her up and carried her up the stairs. She curled into me before I lowered her into her bed, lifting the blankets to cover her frail form.

I took one of the toys from the bed and pushed it into her arms. She wrapped her arms around it with a smile. How, I thought, could somebody stare at the person they raised and push them into running away from home? How did Seiji manage to pass each day looking down on Yui and allow himself to continue on in his deception? How could he sleep at night knowing that he was raising a lamb to the slaughter?

Evil took many forms. It did not always come as an oppressive shadow, but sometimes as a welcoming hand.

‘Sometimes evil is the people you should trust the most.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thinking of making the rest of the story through the perspectives of different people rather than just Yui. What do you think?


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yui immediately gets to work in school.

I preferred Autumn weather to any other weather, although I found that the weather system in Japan was significantly more complicated than Scotland, where it was more often rain than anything else, and not nearly as cold as I wanted it to be and this led to a distinct twitch of mine that was forming in combination with the stress of my situation. It was not a tick that any of the boys would notice, but it was one Cordelia knew well.

My nails would drag along the skin next to my nails, pulling it away and tearing it loose until the skin was torn from the finger even to the point of bleeding. I had many such ticks that I had kept under check since being involved with the Sakamaki household, knowing that any twitch I had would be noticed and used against me.

It was not necessarily uncommon for me to hide myself away from society. The way I write it now, I make it sound like it was an easy thing to do and something that was accomplished with no effort, but the truth of the matter was that almost all of my energy went into it, and I did not keep control as much as I wanted to. I am certain, now, that even though I thought myself alone in my room that I was being observed even then.

It is something I think about even now as I tear the skin away from my nails in thin strips, staring out at a beautiful afternoon I would love nothing more than to disappear into, like rain into a lake; so small not a single soul would notice.

‘They’re already aware of the fact you’re acting, why not give up?’

‘Because my actual personality is significantly more confrontational and that would only get me killed. I may not be as compliant or delicate as Yui, but those people that wrote that she needed to be more aggressive and demand more were more naïve than her.’

‘I know, I’m just…’ The words drifted away, but I knew what it was she was thinking. She was feeling impatient, and it was something I could understand all too well. I was not a patient person by nature. When I wanted something, I wanted it immediately. I would pace and huff and stomp around until the moment came, and then I would want the next thing straight afterwards. I had, in the past, the complete lack of ability to enjoy things in the moment. It also came with the curse of forgetting things almost as quickly, a combination of depression and lack of sleep making it that I would forget minor things as well as the major; I would forget what I said as soon as I said it.

The only times I went out was when Kou wanted to go out, the rest of my time being confined to my room. It was not so much that I had not been given permission to explore the house, rather than I was once again confronted with the appropriate fear that a single mistake would lead to pain, and though I put on a strong front it was not something I was immune to. Even if they did not see a physical reaction in the sense that I cried out or showed it on my face, the likes of Reiji had certainly felt it in the increased heart rate for the brief time that the whip cracked down.

Being confined to the room, I had a lot of time to plan. My plan was to get the Sakamakis and the Mukamis to confront each other and be distracted by the threat that they were to one another. I was frequently dismissed as a non-threat due to my own humanity, and I would use this to my advantage. The Sakamakis did not necessarily know to what extent I was a nuisance for Karl Heinz or, indeed, for them, and the Mukamis did not seem to know anything at all. Ruki, if he caught anything from that brief lapse of smugness, had done nothing to make sure I had no means of escaping and the security in the area did not seem to increase.

‘Or at least I cannot see the changes.’

‘If we consider familiars, the ones outside have not increased.’ Cordelia remarked, and I wondered briefly how she could tell. ‘The numbers are barely anything. All it would take was some smoke to choke them out, but the matter would still be with the brothers…’

‘There needs to be an opportunity outside.’ It had been a month and school was starting again, the majority of the damage done to the school being more aesthetical than structural. Not only would I see my friends again, but I would see the Sakamakis as well. ‘I sit in the same row as Reiji, don’t I? The only other seats that there were available were near the back and front of the class. Ruki will likely sit in the front, with the others in the back. I need to find a way to send a message without physical trace on myself…’

‘Not that the stuffy brat would read a note in class at any point.’ I sighed, sucking on the tip of my finger as blood pooled out.

‘Why not Morse code?’

‘They’ll definitely hear it?’

‘Not this Morse code.’ I was not certain when I had watched the movie, but I remembered it perfectly. I pulled my finger away and let out a small smile.

I wore the uniform like any soldier, down to the polished shoes. If all went poorly and Reiji managed to take hold of me, I did not want to risk him finding good reason, or at least good in his opinion, to increase my prospects of a living hell.

“We still need to fix your hair.” Kou remarked vaguely as I stepped into the car. Beyond meals which were mostly silent on my part, I did not interact with the other brothers. I did not want them to catch any hints of abnormal behaviour and frankly did not have the energy to perform for more than one manipulative vampire at a time at that moment.

“I shall cut it at the next opportunity, Mr. Kou.”

“You aren’t going anywhere near your hair! You’ve destroyed it enough as it is!” As if to prove his point, he pulled at a strand, the strand significantly shorter than other pieces.

“Mr. Kou, at the time I was intending to look like a young boy. It was intended to look like a mess.”

“No longer! Today we get it sorted and we make you stop looking like a weirdo.”

“I look perfectly ordinary.” He made a loud ‘ha’ sound at that.

“A bob will fix that mess and finally, finally, you’ll look cute.”

I never understood the world’s obsession with either cute or sexy. Perhaps it was because I had been neither in the past, but I found it to be a bizarre attachment that left me more uncomfortable in the way it was pushed towards me than anything else.

Those were my thoughts as we settled into class, noting with a smug sort of pride how the brothers sat exactly where I expected them to. Everyone filed in with the organised chaos that was teenagers, Sakura only glancing at me briefly as she sat on my other side, handing me the book I had given her the last time we met.

“It was a good read, just as you said it’d be.”

“I am glad that you enjoyed it.” Reiji was quiet by my side, but I could see how he was demanding answers. I put the book into my school bag and, after looking around, tapped my eye twice and then pointed at my finger.

‘Morse Code.’ Said my mouth without saying it out loud before turning away to open my notebook at the teacher walked in. I could not necessarily tell if he was actually looking, but I sent the message as many times as I saw fit.

I did not knock, but instead tapped the table for each dot, and dragged it for each dash.

Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dash. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dash. Dash. Dot.

A message unseen by the others with no physical proof. I did not recall the movie I had seen it from, but I remember the figure being stood by a windowsill at night with only the light of the nearby lamp illuminating him. How the arm dragged along the sill, a message that could reach across the street for anyone that was looking for it.

My message was simple.

Help. Prison. Kou.

I would then give the address of the Mukami household, observed only through the mail that they had received from Kou’s many adoring fans, only a select few being left on the dinner table.

Over and over again, with my free hand, I would deliver the message and write with the other until the school bell rang. Sakura immediately slammed her hands on my desk, startling me. I had not anticipated the reaction at all, and it was with bewilderment that I looked up at her.

“We are going to the club now. Don’t argue.” Although it was said with a smile, I knew she would be demanding many answers from me.

“U-understood.” It was the first time I had stuttered in a very long time.

I worked under the assumption that Reiji would either be listening in, or one of the Mukami brothers would be doing so. As I was dragged along the corridor, I anticipated Kou busting down the door and demanding answers and gestured so with the white board before quickly erasing the ink and settling in the seat at the end of the collection of tables.

The group was used to moments when I was not composed; I had allowed myself to crack into old habits many times during the meetings and it came as a great relief to be able to rock without fear of mockery at that moment. It did not necessarily help the situation, but the duty of being robotic was an exhausting one even for someone as skilled in it as myself.

“So what happened with the ambulance?” Keichiro asked, seeming exceptionally tall in that moment though he had not grown since I had last seen him.

“The ambulance crashed, and I was taken out of it.” Was all I had to say, willing myself to still as I glanced anxiously at the door. Although I heard no footsteps leading up to it, I knew better than to think it was safe. “I was unable to leave the household for some time.”

“Yeah, I noticed you weren’t with the Sakamakis anymore.”

“Affirmative, I am currently residing with the Mukami brothers for the unforeseen future.” I could see concern on their faces. I knew that they had not expected this change; I certainly had not, and it was the reason I was as distressed as I was, although I did not appear so to those who were not looking.

“Don’t know how that works…” Michiko muttered, crossing her arms.

“From what I understand, they are still relatives of the Sakamakis, although I do not know in what sense.”

“Huh.” I knew they would snoop around for information when it was safe to do so. “Are you okay?”

“I do not understand the question.”

“You seem more robotic than usual. I haven’t heard a single snarky remark from you, and your voice sounds dead.” I cringed, knowing I was at least able to do that without observation.

I must have looked exhausted, for Sakura immediately handed me one of her sweets. I took it with a smile, glad to have something that brought at least a little bit of happiness into my life.

“I have… not been sleeping well. It has been challenging settling into the new environment.” I was quiet for a moment still, certain that I was being listened to. “Truthfully, I am constantly in a battle between wanting to kill myself and wanting to kill those around me.” I allowed only a sliver of irritation to shine through.

They were quiet this time, and the sweets were poured onto the table so everyone could eat in that silence. Stuck between my words and the change in circumstances, it was clear that the exhaustion was not just my own. The plan would have to become more complicated as more players entered the ring. My hope was that with my coded message the rest would be too busy killing themselves to notice me, but I knew better than to bet on that alone.

“Good news is Fuddy Duddy can’t force you to join his club anymore.”

“That is true.”

“So…” Sakura pulled out a pink folder and slapped a piece of paper onto the table. “Sign up.”

In that moment the doors were ripped open. I stood up sharply, turning to face the threat either to run or to defend myself. I was briefly baffled by the appearance of Ayato.

‘Well, out of all of my children he would definitely be the one to charge head first into battle.’

“You!” He declared with an accusing finger before marching forward and snatching me by the arm. “You’re coming with me!”

“Woah, woah, we’re in the middle of a meeting right now!” Keichiro was trying to step between us, but Ayato was not having it.

“Stay out of this beanstalk, this is family business.” Before he could protest any further, I was flung out of the room and the door slammed shut. He wasted no time in snatching me again and pulling me into the stomach of the school.

‘Seems our war might be coming sooner than we expected.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yui just being flung at every angle trying to figure out what's going on with her life. Yes, she is riddled with anxiety. No, she will not be given a break.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams tell her nothing.

After a moment’s stumble, I sped up to ensure I was following Ayato’s strides to the best of my ability. I did not know where we were going and resisted the urge to scream as we moved further and further away from the population of the school. I would be alone with vampires. I knew it as the standards of my life, but it did not mean I would ever be comfortable with it.

It was one of the few times that every member of the Sakamaki family was there. I saw them first, noting that they had never appeared so alert; Shu was actually standing which was something that startled me more than the entire family being there. As quickly as I observed them, I saw the Mukami’s there as well.

‘This is team Tango Echo Alpha; it seems as though we have a FUBAR situation…’ I would have smiled at the fact that Cordelia had taken on my military speech, but the seriousness of their expressions and the glares they offered each other, and then me, told me that a smile would be less than appropriate. I almost raised my hand into the salute, but halfway there stopped and lowered it to my side.

“Reporting for duty.” I settled on, watching them all in the open space. I knew that in ordinary Japan, one was not inclined to have an open rooftop, but this was a fantasy in many aspects and the rooftop was exposed to the elements which, in that moment, was still. No wind cut through, only the frosty chill of Autumn creeping into winter.

I wondered if part of it was because of my creeping fear.

‘Perhaps they have reached a conclusion I could not anticipate.’ I did not let myself panic. I kept my breathing level, my back ridged, and with my hands behind my back they could not see the nervous flapping of my hands. I had to blink a certain amount, but not too little. I hoped that I could at least maintain the illusion of calm on the surface long enough to figure out how to react.

“What is the situation?” I asked after a long moment where no one spoke. If I were more fearful, I would have said nothing at all, and I almost wished I did not.

“It seems we’re at a standstill on what to do with you.” Reiji finally said, his voice far too low for his scrawny body.

It was funny, I thought, that in that moment I came to realise just how young they truly were. I had been so focused on their monstrosity that I forgot that the skin they wore was so terribly thin and gangly. They were pretty, but it was blatantly obvious that they were still growing with limbs too long in some places, knuckled and with baby fat around the faces. Kanato was obviously young, but even the oldest still looked too young. Nobody was fully grown until twenty-five, and I was far more aware of it due to my increased age.

Why was I thinking of it, then? Why did I suddenly look at them with bewilderment when before I was so neutral? Perhaps it was fear, perhaps it was the realisation that I might well die soon. Ten vampires talking among themselves with a conclusion summarised beyond my comprehension. And now I could see that some were smiling. In my fright I had blanked out the conversation and was more vulnerable than ever.

Of course I was afraid.

‘I do not want to die.’ It was the most vivid thought in my mind. It drowned out everything else.

I was so utterly afraid; I could think of nothing else. I could only think of how desperately I did not want to die, not at the hands of vampires like this. I did not want to die. I did not want to die. I did not want to die.

“I’m going to be sick.” I did not even speak Japanese anymore. I turned and bolted, running for the bathroom. The hand covered my mouth as I tore open the door, slamming it carelessly behind me as I threw up into the toilet. It was one of those squat toilets, and I barely registered the angle the vomit rolled down as tears pricked my eyes. All I could taste was acid. All I could smell was acid.

Acid. Sour pain that tore through my stomach, up my throat and into my mouth. Everything hurt and the urge to scream almost tore through that pain, even if it would only induce more.

Someone came into the bathroom and I froze. I could hear their footsteps against the tiled floor and heard them stop. I half anticipated it to be one of the brothers.

“Yui?” It was Fumiko’s voice. I seldom heard it, as she was the quieter member of the group; I had not seen her recently and had truthfully forgotten she was a part of the Paranormal Club. I forced myself to straighten up but knew I would look a mess no matter what I did. “Were you just throwing up?”

I nodded. I feared if I opened my mouth I would either throw up some more or start crying. There was an awkward silence in the air before I heard a tap running. Footsteps came closer to me and I was handed a handkerchief.

“Um… here. To wipe your face.” I did not know if I had vomit on my face but used it to wipe away the tears anyway. I had somehow managed to keep my face clear of the disgusting stuff, years of university barely covering me, but did not feel like getting up. “You were… you were looking a little green earlier today. Do you want to go to the nurse’s office?”

“I am not certain if I will be able to get there.” I said, staring dully at my hands. I meant in the sense that I feared the brothers would stop me, but when I moved to stand up, I knew I would not be there for long.

It felt like my legs had been taken from me. Stolen in the night, before I could register I was falling, I realised that I could not feel my body at all. I only felt the sharp thud of my head hitting the ground, vision sparking into nothingness. I could hear Fumiko’s flustered footsteps as she called for help.

I could not hear much else after that.

Dreams were a thing I seldom experienced, and something I recalled less often. The black space around me was unoriginal, a moonless night as I stood at the end of a staircase into a dark void of a garden. I was not alone, although I could see no other.

Staring into the nothingness, I willed myself to walk down the stone steps into the motionless garden that shifted with each movement. I could see the flowers change until I could recognise colour and shape, and the void became a fountain in which a figure sat.

“I do not know you.” I stated to the figure who was draped in black. Black and purple, as I was draped in white turned grey with age, tattered at the edges where black stockings shone through. My dream was trying to create the illusion of innocence within me, but my brain knew better.

“You may, although perhaps in a different appearance.” Said the figure in a voice that was neither old nor young, male or female. The figure, when I finally came around to look at them, looked like a young boy and I frowned.

A wisp, I thought, when I stared down at him with his pink eyes, the rims bruised red from tears or perhaps simply from how pale he truly was, and it was a miracle that he was paler than I. I saw I was myself again, when I so often was Yui. I took a moment to consider this as I stared down at my terribly thin arms. Arms that, before the situation grew dire, were strong with muscle. I looked, I thought, perhaps as I did before I died. It was a grim thought, as I knew of my hollowed cheeks and eyes that looked slightly too wide and felt a brief embarrassment at this.

“If it were the real world, I would offer you a meal, but as this is your dreams it would only torment you.” Answered the boy upon seeing something on my face. I assumed it was frustration, and I quickly suppressed the expression. “There is no need to be so stiff with me! I can assure you my intentions are only to offer you company.”

“I must apologise, I have not experienced good company in a long time.” I continued to stand, feeling awkward standing before him. He patted the spot next to him with a broad smile and after a moment’s contemplation I joined him.

Up close I could see he was quite unusual. His face was obviously youthful, with plump cheeks painted faintly pink, with a button nose and rose petal lips. He looked very cherubic, and I could have fallen for it had it not been for his eyes. Eyes of an aged man, and I already knew he was far older than he appeared.

There was a quiet between us, although it was not necessarily uncomfortable. Still, I was on edge and found myself clenching and unclenching my worn hands on my lap. I found that I wanted to speak but did not know what to say.

“I wish to speak, but it is difficult for the words to come out.”

“Take as much time as you need.”

“When you have to be as cautious as myself, you soon find you have no one to say your thoughts to. You end up only saying them to yourself, so you think a lot.” He nodded, whether in agreement or to show he was listening I did not know. “I wish to know how I came into this situation. As Yui and as myself. All I have wanted is peace, and yet it is the one thing I have never received.”

He made a scoffing noise.

“Yes, it appears as though the world is quite determined to cause you trouble.”

“I want to scream, to cry and shout, and damn this world to decay, but I have no energy for that anymore.” I never did. I was always tired, even when I appeared otherwise. “Too much energy goes into simply surviving.”

“The boys exhaust you.”

“They are always anticipating a fight, and when they cannot find one, they make one.” I ran a hand through my hair. It used to be long and luscious but had thinned and drooped the less I could care for it. A dark brown that only made my skin appear paler. “I know the man known as Karl Heinz expects Yui to stumble into Stockholm Syndrome and love one of them, but I cannot and will not.”

“Cannot?”

“Do you think the cattle would take the farmer’s feed if they knew they were destined for the slaughterhouse?” It came with a laugh at the end, and I felt like tearing out my hair. If I had the will to do so, I would have cried. I was too tired to even do that.

“What do you intend to do?”

Part of me hesitated. I still did not know who the boy was, and I knew better than to give out my plans. If he was inside my mind, then he likely already knew. I stared ahead.

“It would be remarkably easy to destroy this heart of mine and render it useless for his games.” I sniggered. “I suppose that would be one way to defeat a two-thousand-year-old vampire… Demon? I cannot remember if he is actually a demon.”

The boy was quiet. Then, slowly, I felt a thin arm wrap around my shoulders and pull me close. My head sat atop his, rubbing my arm in what could only be described as comfort.

“Live.” Was all he said.

“I have not lived in a long time.” My voice came out a broken whisper. His hand stilled, only for an instance, before he continued the action.

“The Tsukinamis are almost here and will take you away from your current residence.” The boy said, startling me. I lifted my head but could not see his face clearly. “You have certainly broken the routes of this world, and I dare say it is a good thing.” His smile revealed hidden fangs. I did not stare long. “Persevere, as you always have, and I can assure you there will be peace at the end. For all of us.”

The world began to fade around me. I knew I was waking up. Cobbles fell into the ink below, and the boy stood up with me.

“Who are you?” I wanted the answer to that alone. He was a head shorter than me, but the longer he stood the smaller I seemed to become. A hand brushed now blonde hair behind my ear, smiling sweetly down at me.

“Your husband.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a while, my friends, and although not much is happening in this chapter I hope you enjoyed it anyhow.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yui considers her choices, and comes to a grim conclusion.

When I awoke, I found that I was Yui again, and that who I was in the past was no longer present. I could not tell if I missed it or if I was glad to be in a more able body. Or at least a healthier one.

I stared up at a white tiled ceiling, a white that almost stung. I was not inclined to turn my head away from it as I knew I was in the nurse’s office and I knew of the doctor that haunted it like a spectre. A demon, I was certain that he was a demon after all.

“I see you are awake now, Miss Komori.” How long he had been watching, I was not sure, and I did not like the idea enough to consider it.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see one of his many disguises. Reinhart, I believe, and the longer I stared the more awkward the silence became. Were his eyes pink or yellow? It was difficult to tell in the lighting, and as the moments ticked by longer, I finally spoke.

“Goo-,” My voice failed me. Raspy and sharp, it tore through with a viciousness that I had almost forgotten. I tried to clear my throat. “Good evening, Mr. Reinhart.”

“And to you.” He seemed glad to finally have me speak. I forced myself upwards, clutching at my chest. The pain there was disturbingly familiar to me. A kind of whistling sensation through my lungs. I was receiving less air and I was dreadfully aware of why, although I did not say it.

I had not shown the symptoms before today, and that frightened me. Something was changing.

“Your friend managed to get us to you in time. You had passed out.”

“I am aware.” He nodded, jotting in his clipboard.

“Had you been feeling well at all today?”

“Yes. I was suddenly very sick and ran to the bathroom, threw up, and then passed out.” He made a noise at the back of his throat. “I did not eat anything suspicious. I… I know what caused it.”

I hated to give away any sort of weakness. I knew that would give power to those that would seek too harm me, and it left me nervous, but I knew that leaving it untreated was just as dangerous. I would need medical treatment more than I would security, especially if stressful situations continued to occur.

“You have to keep this confidential. There is a reason I do not tell people such things.” I doubted he would keep it private. That he would certainly tell others when it suited him, and I wanted to bite at his face for the mere thought. At least in that moment he appeared genuine.

“Of course, you are of legal age, so I do not need to inform a guardian.” I stared at his false face for a moment longer, trying to force out his deception.

“Then I will believe you.” I returned my focus to my hands. Not as thin as my original hands, and less veins. I never would have thought Yui would look healthier than me, but that was solely because of hard work and better living circumstances. If such a thing could be believed. “I have been under a lot of pressure recently. I am distressed more often than relaxed.” I started. “These constant stressful situations can aggravate my symptoms.”

He was clearly waiting. If he were a dog, I would see his ears pricked forward. Part of me thought that perhaps he was genuinely wanting to help. I knew better and anticipated that it would not improve my situation. Still, a dead Eve was pretty much useless.

“I have asthma. I have had it for a long time, but I do not have an inhaler.” He expected the first part, clearly, as he did not seem surprised. He, however, frowned at the mention of an inhaler.

“Have you ever had one?” I dared to raise a brow.

“With my current circumstances, I have never had the time, nor the desire to risk my own safety in getting one.” One danger for another. I ignored the fact that I had not shown to carry my asthma through from the past life until today.

“We will need to get you assessed by a professional and see what needs to be done. That was a very severe attack you had today.” Was it real concern, or false? I did not know. I knew so little in this world. I nodded, finding myself disinterested in speaking further. Violent coughs tore through my ragged body, covering my mouth with my elbow as I tried to will myself to stop.

I could still feel the bile clinging to the back of my throat. I felt the desire to throw up again.

“Classes are over. Someone will come pick you up soon.”

Who was I with now? I dared not ask as I dropped my arm. A second later and I slammed my entire body onto the bed, the pillow puffing up at the edges. Would it be such a terrible thing to live on a bed forever? It was certainly not so different from my life before. I could get used to such retirement. I closed my eyes and pretended.

As always, there was no such peace for me. The door was opened, and footsteps came towards my bed. A throat cleared and I opened my eyes to see Reiji there. I was almost baffled, but I did not have the energy for it. I had very little energy for anything, and it must have shown on my face. Instead of falsified disinterest, it was genuine. I genuinely did not care for anything that was happening around me, and no matter what he said I would continue to not care.

“Are you able to walk on your own?” Instead of responding, I lifted myself from the bed. The world spun slowly. There was a pressure behind my eyes and I sincerely hoped that if there was a god out there that I was not given my chronic migraines alongside my asthma. Reiji sighed before I could even will myself to stand up, offering a pitiful arm.

Whether it was pride or spite, I grabbed the side table first and pulled myself up. Immediately, I fell into the table, hip slamming into the corner before I hit the ground once again. I managed to stop myself from falling headfirst into the tiles with my arm, but even my arm was struggling. I was weaker than I had ever been.

“It seems I need to add gravity to my list of enemies.” My façade of cool politeness was dwindling rapidly. I found I was quite comfortable simply glaring at my traitorous limbs, although Reiji certainly was not. “Can I just live here? On the ground? Until I decompose? It is significantly less effort than living.”

“No can do! We have to get you home, kitten!” I jolted like I had been shocked. It certainly felt like it with the loudness of Kou’s voice against what I now knew was definitely a migraine. I could not tell if I wanted to scream or just curl up, but I was given neither option as he heaved me into his arms like a bride; an unwilling bride that made absolutely no effort to cling or otherwise make his life easier.

I said nothing as they walked side by side, seemingly satisfied in not killing each other. It was the complete opposite of what my half-hearted plan had intended. I could feel my stress levels increasing already as I clutched tightly onto my chest trying to will the pain away. That appeared to be how I was dealing with most of my issues as of recently.

Not for long.

“What did I miss?” A confused sound from Kou. “You are getting along. I was too busy trying to figure out where the nearest bathroom was, I missed the conversation that led up to… whatever this is.”

It was not explained to me, with a dismissive stare, but I did not need it explained once I was carried to the car and saw just how crowded the space was. If it would not endanger me, I would scream. I would scream and howl for they had come to a conclusion of their own; ten vampires was better than six.

‘It’s not fair!’ My old voice threatened to spill out, to rip open raw vocal cords as exhausted fury took hold of me. I was so bitterly tired, and I knew that I was lucky compared to the original Yui. Due to my complete lack of resistance, or regular lack of resistance, I was less noteworthy for most of them. I knew, however, that it would not last. If the locking up of ten vampires in a high-tension environment was not enough to increase violence towards each other and myself, then I feared that desperation for a reaction would certainly do it.

The worst part was that I was weakening to my original self, when sickness plucked at every cell of my body until nothing but a husk was left, so I could not defend myself nearly as well. I would not even be able to run the full forest distance without an asthma attack.

I was more vulnerable than I had ever been, and the thought alone was spiralling me into the threat of another attack. I could already feel my body locking up, my lungs pulling in tight, as I curled tighter into myself and I had only been in the car for two minutes.

They were speaking, mocking me I was certain, but their voices were watery.

Perhaps it was not so much an asthma attack as it was the brink of a mental breakdown. I was long overdue one, or multiple, and simply thinking over and over again of my dreaded future made everything too loud and too quiet at the same time.

“So that’s the kind of face you make when you’re in pain.” And then I could hear clearly again.

Escaping from the ocean of my own mind, the attack slowly melted down as my heartbeat eased and breathing became clearer. There was still a distinct whistling to my breathing, but at least I could breathe.

I was vaguely aware of the fact that it had been Ayato that made the bland remark. Blinking away tears, I remained staring at the floor of the moving car for a long time, as though trying to will myself away, before releasing the tight grip on my arms and shifting into the rigid position I normally sat in. My face was blank, but I knew from various smirks that my face was still ruddy red and that my episode would not be forgotten; that it would happen multiple times if they could find out how to trigger it.

I had given them a weakness to make me waver.

It was one of those violent thoughts that played over and over again in my head with increasingly mocking voices. Voices that were not my own, but that I knew well. Peace was something foreign to me, I knew that by now.

I did not look at them, but I knew there were a few looking at me. Silence was almost willed upon them, as though the weight of my vulnerability to simply suffocating to death was something that was worth acknowledging at all.

‘I need to kill them.’

The thought was sharp, sudden, like a knife against my throat. I jolted slightly in Kou’s iron grip. I felt his hand tense against my shoulder.

“Spooked by the outside world, Maso-kitty?” A playful lilt that would not have been so cheerful had he heard my thoughts, and part of me remembered that Reiji could control minds at some point in the game. My face took too long to compose itself from the sheer horror of my thought process, which must have been seen as fear. I could feel Reiji’s stare on me, seemingly pressing into the very crevices of my mind. If he could control minds, that suggested he could read them too.

I thought of maths. A cursed thing I had never gotten a hold of, but could distract, nonetheless.

“Hey, you didn’t answer my question.” I clenched my teeth as his grip tightened. I could feel the very bones of his fingers furrow into skin, nudging into the dip where my shoulder met its socket. I had enough experience with dislocation to know that I would not be able to endure that. It was a deep pain I could never be free of.

“No, I am not afraid of what is outside.” My voice was raspy. It was not Yui’s voice, but my own. The gravel of my original accent, of deeply repressed grief and anger, seeped through. It only added to my fears.

“And what is the little bitch afraid of?”

‘Fear only matters to people not ready for death.’ He did not push for an answer; perhaps he was as afraid of my honest truth as I was.

I had a brief quiet in my room. A fine argument was made over who should guide me there, with Laito pushing the boundary more than a couple of times, before Reiji decided that enough was enough and took me himself with a sharp glare. I knew it would not settle for long, and tension would only increase as the game of alpha male was played. As was the case often with many insecure men in an enclosed space. And I was caught in the middle.

“It would be wise to disclose all of your conditions promptly.”

Another game. Joined up with Ruki, a similar mother-hen sort, I could almost hold onto the delusion of false care as I laid myself upon the bed staring up at the curtains that could deceive me into hiding from the outside world. As though they would truly protect me. As though anything could.

Freedom was impossible for as long as they were alive, and the viciousness of these thoughts were in sharp contrast to the fragility I must have given off lying there with my hands on my stomach. Like a peach. Sweet at first and spilling forth with rich juice that tempted any hungry animal, but the teeth bit too far in and clashed against stone; the whole jaw shuddering. I hoped they choked on it.

“Do you intend to speak soon?” As with all things, I could not will it away.

“Why should I?”

“Pardon?”

“Why should I bring up any further weaknesses that can be used against me?”

“Asthma alone is deadly if left untreated, any other ailments could endanger your life unnecessarily.”

A low chuckle billowed from me.

“As though my death matters one way or the other. Only difference between an asthma attack and one of you killing me is that at least I am unconscious before I am dead with asthma.”

I should have stayed quiet, I so often found myself thinking this when I was myself; when I had less restraint. When I was too tired to care, as I was then.

“If it is irrelevant to me when I die, why should it matter to you?” I was demanding answers when I would not receive them, and I turned away just to miss Reiji opening his mouth. “Pft, never mind.”

Quiet reigned for the longest time. I counted the minutes by the ticking of the clock; the only thing that told me of time passing. I did not hear them leave, but that did not mean that they had not. They could teleport, after all. How lucky, I thought. How lucky that they could leave as they pleased.

“I will be dead within the year.” A sharp intake of breath.

So they had not left, after all.

“Explain.” I wanted to laugh. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to be alone, and yet found myself so terribly lonely. I could not feel the presence of Cordelia and could not contact my friends. I was being devoured by my own mind.

I pushed myself up. I stayed there, watching the corner, before turning.

“I will be dead within the year, one way or another. That is how it ends.” A quiet determination that I knew unsettled.

Ruki had left, but Reiji had remained. Perhaps to make sure I did not have another attack.

He looked disturbed in a way he never had before. It almost seemed as though he had forgotten I was a human being that could be dead within such a short amount of time. I could see something akin to fright in his eyes, before something else took hold. Determination, a refusal to acknowledge the information I had given him.

“What has made you so ill?” He stepped forward, only one step.

“I do not want to be better.” Whether he knew what I was implying or not, it was not clear in that moment. I could see the tension riddled all over his body. He was thinking, thinking too much that he forgot that no sane person would live here, before he spoke:

“You should rest for now.” I bit hard on my snide remark and dropped back onto the bed with a thump. How brilliant eternal sleep would be; away from this wretched place.

Cordelia did not answer my calls.

I was alone.

I had made the promise to myself, and there was no turning back now. By the end of the year if I had not killed the brothers, I would be dead by my own hand. Whether by the Belladonna, by knife, or biting off my own tongue I would be dead.

If there was any doubt about him being able to read minds before, there was little doubt on it then as I felt almost tender fingers upon my hair.

“You will survive.”

“Liar.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update this, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I am taking a darker turn with this, but also trying to bring to light other complications. The issue with this Yui is that she refuses to accept any sign of kindness, and honestly that's a good thing within this environment; it's safer to not trust anyone and get out of there. Unfortunately, it seems as though Cordelia's absence means that her mental health is rapidly deteriorating, and Reiji is aware of this. Maybe the next chapter will be from his point of view!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look through the lens of Reiji, talking to Yui as she sleeps. (Dialogue heavy, and very Scottish. For those needing a translation, I have written the transcript in CheshireRui's response. Any mockery of the Scottish language will be removed or otherwise blocked. It is a heavy topic. Otherwise, if there are any other issues regarding it such as visual issues, please let me know.)

Routine was critical in maintaining order in a household that otherwise lacked it, that was losing the last threads that kept from either mass destruction or sheer utter violence. He had only accepted the changes of community after the firm conclusion that any fighting may give the girl a chance to slip away while they were focused on what appeared to be a greater threat. He did not anticipate that she would slip away in another sense.

Yui was a solid foundation of immovable granite. Granite like Scotland’s bedrock, the country she was found in, with acidic soil like her sour words and sour eyes. The sting of her glare tarter than any raspberry, and yet he had thought them empty until last night’s confession. He only knew surrender then and remembered that despite her remarkable endurance even she had limits.

She had quietly endured for so long that he had forgotten she was mortal at all.

He would never admit it out loud, but he had been rattled when he felt her heart rate rapidly increase before dropping like a stone. He was almost grateful for her more human companions that had called for the nurse to help.

They had miscalculated, and although he did well in hiding his own anxiety it was not so much the case with others. A brief glimmer of some sort of reaction in the triplets, at least, and he knew that Subaru was always emotionally attached to the brides in some manner; some sort of guilt clinging onto him.

It was insulting how the Mukami brothers worked faster than him in establishing what had happened. They had more experience in being human, and though Reiji knew Kou to be a swinging yo-yo of emotions, he managed to not even break a sweat.

Perhaps it was not an issue of calm. He stumbled, for a second, and thought that the error was with him. That he had become too emotionally attached himself. He dismissed it quickly. Buried the thought and watched silently as the blonde fool talked to the girl as though she could actually hear him.

They could all hear the horrible whistling in her lungs where it had never been before. He could hear it then, in his room, as sleep refused to come to him. Asthma where there had been no record of it before, no suggestion. He did not believe that it would suddenly appear with such viciousness, that he would have gotten some sort of warning, and found that the discomfort pressing against his shoulders refused to leave.

Something was wrong and his mind refused to let go of it. It clawed at the back of his skull, digging into every crevice of his brain, until he willed himself to abandon sleep.

He knew Yui talked in her sleep. It was how he could tell when she was actually sleep or pretending to; which was very regular. She would barely sleep for days, and when she did sleep it was only for three hours or less. No amount of tea drugging seemed to help. At first, he would think it was because she refused to drink it, but now he was certain that even when she did her stress levels were too high for her to let it take hold.

He realised where his error was. He did not see any physical signs of stress that he was used to; no racing heart, no shaking, no headaches, no nausea, no shallow breathing, and no muscle tension. Or, at least, nothing that was blatantly obvious. Her heartbeat at the average of 67 beats per minute, and yet he got a distinct impression that was her heartbeat raised now. She never shook but was always rigid. As he had never seen her not rigid, he had just assumed that her shoulders were always square and her back always at violent straightness. That her silence, that her disinterest, were all a part of who she was.

The Mukamis’ were surprised that she spoke like an ordinary person at all, although it was hardly appropriate to call it ordinary, and said that she had spoken and acted like a robot with them. That she never left her room, that she barely spoken, that no expression could be seen on her face. Kanato would have been delighted.

Knowing all of this, he should not have been surprised that she finally cracked. Simply because he could not see the build-up, did not mean the crack was not there, and now he was fully aware of the fact that the dam was ready to burst and disturbingly fearful of his inability to fix it.

He hated powerlessness. He had decided that Yui was worth the effort of training, and now he was sitting by her bed suddenly aware of the fact that her own vicious repression was bringing a number of sicknesses with it. She caused herself to pass out, and the whistling in her chest rattled through his very bones, and he found himself in great frustration that she would hide such a thing.

And yet he knew that her decision made logical sense. That it was sensible to give no weaknesses away, to quietly endure and plan until freedom was within reach. The less logical part of him was upset, though. That she had tucked away those weaknesses and her own feelings and hidden them from him. That he was left stranded and unaware of who she was at all.

What would he have done with such information? Of course, he knew he would have used it as a weapon, just as she said he would. He could not deny if even if he wanted to. No, she had no reason to trust him or anyone else, and it was with a sickening clarity that he knew why she spoke of being dead within the year. If not by their hand, then by her own. He had heard of trapped animals biting off their legs to escape traps before. He had seen it with many brides as well.

The pit did not settle well in his stomach. He sat there for some time, watching her chest rise and fall, listening for the whistle.

He knew that it was just the two of them, but hesitated nonetheless, as he reached out to pull at a loose curl. Kou said that it had to be cut by a professional because she would hack at it herself; that she had done, and almost chuckled. He had not realised how fine her hair was until then, softer than any creature he had come across, and felt the childish desire to run his hands through it. She would not like that, she always moved swiftly away from any sort of touch. At least from vampires.

A frown settled on his face. The only people she let touch her willingly were her human friends, and he found himself wondering once again whether that was her true self. Poker-faced with a relaxed face, a dry sense of humour, and a quiet brewing to help out whenever she could.

He had listened, of course he listened it was the only chance he got to actually hear her true thoughts and struggled to conclude what parts of her were a mask.

After her breakdown, which parts of her would slip through? Would any part of her be visible, or would she pull further into herself until the mask was all that remained?

He could not stand the thought. He had caught a glimmer of the true Yui, and his curiousity demanded more. Like any starving animal, he wanted to tear her open and see the beating heart underneath. He wanted to solve this puzzle, and anything else would be unacceptable.

He never admitted that he would feel regret if she broke and left nothing behind.

He continued to watch, listening for the whistle. He hated the noise, and could not imagine what it felt like, and was grateful that her voice took hold instead.

“A told ye, ye cannae be holdin’ the dug like that. She looks cool, but she’s an emotional wreck, she’ll hate ye forever if ye treat her wrong.” He had heard her mutter in Scots before, knew that it was more native to her than her native tongue at this stage. Still, it was amusing to hear it out loud.

“Hating me? I did not know a dog could feel hate.” He did not expect a response.

“Well it’s no’ so much hate as it is doubt. Betray her trust tae often and she’ll just never assume there’s hope wi’ ye at all. And go lookin’ fer someone else tae comfort her. Like me. Because A’m a god damn delight and ye never show her ye care.” He found himself smirking. Giving advice in her sleep? It sounded like something Yui would do, and how comedic that it could be used to train her.

“So how would you suggest I show I care?”

“Dugs are social creatures, ye ken. So are wolves, it’s how they keep the pack safe especially when winter comes and fuckin’ ruins the day.”

“No swearing.”

“Aye, aye, whatever helps ye sleep at night.” She was quiet for a moment, and he wondered whether he should ask again. Sleep talking was not familiar to him. “If yer sayin’ one thing but daing another, ye’ll only confuse her. Dugs dinnae ken many words but read body language. Dinnae tell her tae go away whilst wavin’ fer her tae come over. They also dinnae much like hugs or head pats, it’s domineerin’, and direct eye contact whilst surroundin’ them isnae acceptable. Yer just makin’ her uncomfortable, she kens yer the boss.”

“Does she, though?”

“Aye. Yer bigger and stronger than her, and she follows yer orders even if she does nae like them. She’s just the scout lookin’ for danger and fer somewhere nice to sleep. Good food as well, probably. Bitch gotta eat.”

“Language.” She made a frustrated grunting noise and turned onto her side.

“Tellin’ a Scot nae tae swear. Ye could sooner divert a river than deny my nature.”

“It is quite easy to divert a river.”

“A swear A will throw a carrot at ye, Rob, and there are plenty here.”

“Carrots?”

“Someone has tae take care of the garden and A happen tae like being outside, even if A’ll burn tae a crisp by the end of it. Spikin’ aff, let the poor quine explore a bit when ye take her out. Let her wander, let her have an adventure, and fer god’s sake take her somewhere new. Even A get sick of the ponds after a couple of days, and A spent the whole afternoon tryna cross it when it froze over last year.”

“She really likes being outside?”

“Aye, like me, but she also needs a safe zone indoors wi’ how temperamental the weather is out here. She’s definitely no’ lackin’ in beds. Wherever there’s sunlight there’s a sleepin’ dog, and honestly A can relate. Sun’s tae rare tae neglect.”

“I would have thought that with how pale you are that you would hate the sun.” She huffed with a sharp aggression, and he would have thought it was some sort of laugh or at least a scoff.

“A dinnae hate the sun, the sun hates me! Three times in the hospital, but A will never give up on it. Although admittedly, A dae want to grow a midnight garden tae, even if A cannae leave the house at night.” He could see her cheeks puff out, the closest he had ever seen to a pout, and made note of such thoughts. Not that he was neglecting any of her night time ramblings. They were proving to be a useful insight into her mind, and useful for future training. “Dinnae push all the changes on her at once, though. Ye have tae slowly push her intae it or she’ll anticipate that somethin’ has gone wrong. She’s curious, aye, but her breed’s naturally nervous; she’ll anticipate the worst first.”

“That may explain why she is always tense.”

“Aye, it does, and she does nae trust yer family either. Ye have tae remember she’s a rescue. Ye cannae be struttin’ in wi’ yer loud cheers and family always tryna touch her. She’s been conditioned to think those things will get her hurt. Be patient, and ye’ll have a damn good companion fer life. Also, she’ll take care of those fuckin’ rats ye have. Dinnae think A’ve forgotten about them, they were eatin’ the bird food yesterday.”

Conversation continued, with Reiji taking on the role of the mysterious Rob in her dreams. An elderly neighbour where she had been staying before she fled into the forest a few months before she was captured. He learned that she had been staying in a hamlet of sorts, only eleven houses in the area, and that she was a gardener living at the bottom of the garden tending to the chickens and dogs as well as the various plants, of which she proudly declared her onions were the best.

He learned that Yui was never particularly eager to engage with people, that she was regularly bullied as a child and often suspicious of their intentions, but that she was only unfriendly and not unkind. He learned that she loved children and had considered being a teacher if she ever could, and that she adored plants and animals.

“One-time A saw a wee caterpillar crossin’ the pavement aimin’ fer the road and all A could think about was the poor thing getting’ squished, so A spent the next ten minutes tryna guide it into the grass instead. When it just kept tryna worm ‘round my hand A just picked him up and dropped him inside, apologisin’ the whole time. Glad no one was there tae film me, but A have been filmed before.”

“You have been filmed?”

“No’ willingly, but that’s how it be. People look at ye daing things they wouldnae dae around others and they feel the need to show it on the internet either to mock ye or fer those ‘oh look there is hope fer humanity after all’ videos. Personally A’m just here fer my pigeon army.”

He spent the whole night talking, so he should have felt bitter or irritated as his time for work came close. He did not. There was a strange ease to him, as though he had actually talked to her instead of her sleeping form. He fell quiet.

“You sometimes say things that suggest you want to hurt yourself.” Perhaps he could push the answers out of her sleeping state.

“Aye, aye even A get tired.” There was a steady sigh from her. “Ye find that the constant battle tae stay alive, to have yer peace with people that otherwise seek yer misery, makes ye want it all tae just… stop. A dinnae want tae die, A doubt anyone wants tae actually die, they just want their pain tae stop. People see me in slumps just lyin’ around no’ daing much and assume A’m being lazy. A’m no’, A’m just sick of fightin’. Everyone gets sick of fightin’ from time tae time. Dinnae leave me alone durin’ that time, but dinnae push me either. A usually get back in order before they consider sending me tae the psych ward.”

“…How should I help you?” He glanced around, embarrassed that he had said it out loud, that he had admitted he had a flaw in his thinking for even a moment.

“Curse of my curse is that ye cannae get rid of it forever. They’ve already put me on the strongest drugs before, but A’m pretty much immune to medication, the fact that A woke up durin’ surgery is proof enough, but reassurance that A willnae be abandoned or scolded fer it is important. When people fall, they dinnae dae it because they want tae. If anythin’, A’d at least want someone tae understand and wait fer me to stand up again wi’ out mockin’ me on the way. A ken A fell, A ken what caused it, A’m daing my best, but fer fuck’s sake A’ve got rheumatoid arthritis back aff.”

“You have-,” She cut him off before he could confirm the ailment. He held back the urge to scold her. Whenever she was scolded, even in dreams, she would fall silent for a long time.

“When A’m personally feelin’ like utter shite, A find that bein’ outside helps. Outside wi’ a hot drink, some good food, and some good friends. Even if A cannae spik, A’m glad they’re there and no’ pushin’ me around.”

“You really like being outside, do you?”

“A like bein’ indoors just as much, but when yer on a low it feels tae crowded and the sun helps fight depression anyway. It does nae cure it, but there’s somethin’ fresh about feelin’ the sun on your face and breathin’ clean air. Especially near forests. Shame my nearest forest is an hour’s walk away, dear god A dinnae ken how A turned that intae a three-hour journey, but the haunted chapel was worth it. Draggin’ myself across the bridge to call fer help wasnae.”

“You are not usually one to call for help. Since you came here, you have only been marinating in your suffering until you crack.” Even on her side she managed to shrug her shoulder. “You cannot deny it.”

“A’ve always had tae rely on myself. A dinnae ken how tae ask fer help when A need it, although A dae make a habit of daing what A can tae help others. Maybe because A ken what it’s like tae be helpless otherwise. A dinnae want anyone tae feel like that. Helplessness is a horrible feelin’.” He reached out again, poking at her cheek. She sleepily raised hand and started to wave his hand away. Her hand was abnormally cold. “Dinnae ye be daing that. My wisdom tooth is actin’ up again, and it’ll be another year still before any surgeon will see me.”

“I want to help you.” She was quiet. Her thinning hand hung limply against his own. He could see clearly how small they were then, and just how fragile she was. How breakable. It sobered him. “How do I help you?”

“A wish A knew how to help myself.” She admitted, curling tighter into herself. Instinctively, he wrapped the blankets over her shoulders.

The conversation stilled as he found himself brewing over his thoughts once again. She was far from perfect, not even touching upon it. She was quietly obstinate, bitter, and was incapable of regular politeness. If she did not want to do something, she would make sure everyone knew even if she did the task. She rarely smiled, rarely had positive things to say, and refused to bend to the will of others beyond the outer shell. She was snarky in such a way she could not be accused of it, and petty. She came across as unfriendly, which she admitted to, and had little interest in making friends as she was satisfied with what companions she already had.

Despite this, he found himself fond. Like a stray cat. Fed every day, hissing, snarling, and bolting at the slightest touch, but unable to stand the concept of the cat never being seen again, and with a quiet envy if found with anyone else. Perhaps it was the desire to domesticate that he found himself once again contemplating his attachment.

No, he would not let her soul float out the window. This stray cat was his now.

“Of course, in these tryin’ times, ye have tae take care of each other.” The silence continued moments longer, stretched out into the quiet of rising night. “Because we all ken that the world is cruel, and that bad things dinnae always happen tae bad people, and that parents arenae always great tae their kids, and other kids arenae always friendly. Everyone kens this, and it’s a foolish thing tae assume the greater good will conquer, and that the world cares much fer any of us.”

“It is a difficult thing to forget.” He leaned forward slightly, pressing his elbows against his thighs. He always knew of such things; it was how he lived. That the world is cruel and so he would be crueller.

“Well, we all ken the world is a cruel place that does nae give a shite about our sufferin’, because it’s always shoved down our throats to make us bitter and miserable. A’ve never been one tae dae as A’m told, so when the world is cruel and bitter, we are kind tae each other. We are kind tae each other because nothin’ else can or will be. So ye take care of yer family, Rob, and A’ll take care of mine, and they’ll take care of those around them, and they’ll dae the same on and on, and maybe the world will seem a lil less bitter even if only fer a day. And that’s all that matters.”

She said nothing else. His day was finally to begin, and he rose from his spot. With more vampires in the house, there was more to do. He would not let the appearance of newcomers ruin his reputation and would not let Ruki take that place for him. He demanded perfection from himself, and he would receive it.

“That’s all that matters.” Her voice whispered as he closed the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There would have been more description, I swear, but I got too caught up in the dialogue today. Might do one chapter on Kou, which will be the reverse of dialogue heavy because Yui will be awake and thus at full suppression mode. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kou contemplates.

Kou was not a thinker; he was a doer. If he wanted something to change, he was the individual that would thrust himself head first into it with little regard of the immediate consequences and would only adapt himself to the changes as they stretched on, his rare moments of thinking before acting only coming in when he was in a particularly tricky situation that would land him in a great deal of trouble if the situation turned around.

He liked to believe that it worked well on girls. He was fully aware of his appearance and his outer personality, and his status as an idol only made him more certain of his talent for being able to get away with trouble as long as he was subtle about it.

Yui was impossible to manipulate because she was so obstinately robotic, what he learned to be absolutely spite, that everyone knew of his involvement before he could even attempt to cover his tracks, and she would bat her pretty eyes at him with an almost smile upon her face knowing full well what she had done and feeling no remorse for the consequences.

That was the issue, he had come to learn. She cared almost not at all for anything. She did not care for rumours on her reputation, mean comments and shoves. Biting was, at best, a mild inconvenience for her and she had spoken of being whipped severely as though it were as mundane as the weather. He had thought grimly that she was as spicy as white bread and thought it for some time until he caught a whisper of her hidden spark.

The model was never able to recover from the sharpness of Yui’s tongue, and he had finally seen Yui’s secret nature. That underneath her mask she was just as inclined to misbehave as any other, and then she looked him in the eye and there was a sudden, sharp clarity in them before, just as suddenly, she locked herself away and became stone.

He had seen her, and that had horrified her and compelled him to dig deeper. That he was not losing this underground river of hidden information and that he would pull her out again and see what she was before she learned to act so well, denying the fact that it was a selfish desire for a kindred spirit.

Kou did not know what to expect of her when she woke up. He had seen that she had half turned off as she was being informed on their new living arrangements. She had clung to a word within that speech, the word being a mystery to him, and with sickening clarity could see terror in her eyes. He could see the exact moment of sheer, bloody horror that had possessed her body, and though he had craved it for the single second he saw it, he did not crave her retreat. A physical retreat at first, mumbling about feeling sick before running down the stairs; the loudest steps she had ever taken.

It was when she woke up that he saw that she had done more than physically run away. Where there was a hint of Yui before, he could not see the glint at all. Unconscious, she had built more and more walls around herself with more stone, and everyone could see it clearer than ever. The few episodes where Yui was truly Yui were being repressed as she silently brooded, which was more uncomfortable than before.

Even when she was stiff and robotic, there was some suggestion of what was underneath. She still spoke, she still pulled away. She still did her own thing, albeit with such rarity that he would sometimes photograph it just to remind himself of the fact that she did it at all.

That morning she did no such things. He found her based upon the wretched noise in her lungs, as though she were drowning in sand, but her footsteps were muffled and her heart level, and her eyes dead. He would only find such empty eyes on the corpses of fish, they even looked glazed over. If he stared too hard, he was certain he saw a faint blue film over them.

Whatever energy she had to resist had abandoned her as she was ordered into the dining room to join them to eat. She would simply sit there, her mind turned off to the world around her, and say and do nothing. The purple brat was excited initially, but she never acknowledged him, and he had to be pulled away so he would not rip her ear off. She did not even blink. He had counted the seconds between her blinks. Ten seconds.

‘Am I watching a zombie?’ He wondered it as she ate, her knife and fork in different hands from usual, and when he glanced around, he could see similar odd glances her way even as the others talked amongst themselves. Reiji looked like he was willing to test the theory.

“You’re with me, Yui.” She did not respond. Wherever she was, it was not the Sakamaki dining room. Maybe she was back in Scotland at home with whoever she talked to in her sleep. Maybe she was dead. Maybe she was nowhere at all.

She followed him after the meal despite her lack of response, only knowing she was behind him with that dreaded wheeze that reminded him of tuberculosis patients. Tuberculosis patients that he used to sit with in hospital wings wondering why Azusa was coughing so violently; vampire or not he still suffered for it with sluggish words.

The library was her usual neutral ground. When she was not being pushed around, it was where she would go either for the few minutes of rest, she allowed herself, or to get more information. He rarely saw the exact books she was reading, but she was searching on very specific topics. She did not look around, staring him dead in the eye. He could not see her thoughts, barricaded as they were, and this only frustrated him further.

“Don’t you read when you’re miserable? There’s tons of books here, some that don’t even exist anymore!” He flailed, gesturing to the many bookcases gathering dust. Ancient scrolls and aged books older than most existing societies. Some older than known human society at all. “There’s even some from the demon world here.”

If she were a dog, her ears would have pricked forward.

He did not know how to describe the change in her eyes beyond that. It were as though the fog had vanished from them entirely, and instead of standing there dully simply looking his way, she was looking at him. Her back was straighter, her brows knitted, and in her own quiet way she was pulling answers out of him.

“Yeah, Heinz has parts of his old library in here, so there are books here that are literally thousands of years old on all sorts of things. A whole category on just magic, not that you will be able to do anything with magic.” He emphasised the last part with a glare her way, but she was not looking at him anymore; walking through the bookcases to seemingly locate the demonic books. “You need a special key to get in, and you’ll only be getting that from Heinz.”

“I suppose I must locate, King Heinz, then.” It was the first thing she had said, and her voice was rougher than her usual; undoubtedly from the spontaneous return of her asthma. She turned sharply. “When does he return? I want his key.”

“Who can say? Heinz does what he wants.” He shrugged it off, but she was refusing to give up. She was marching, a cold-blooded determination settling on her face. The gears were turning in her mind and she was planning as she so often did in silence.

There was no silence in her thoughts then. Whatever she was looking for, whatever pushed her so obsessively forward, she believed she could find it in the demon world. There was an absolute confidence in her eyes that he had not seen when they had taken her. He wondered if this determination was what the Sakamakis’ had seen, if it was this fire that had been briefly buried that they had been privy to and him deprived of?

“Where are the books?” He had never heard such emotion in her voice; it was as addictive as her blood. If all he had to do to get such a high was hint at some dusty books, he would not hesitate.

“That room over there.” He pointed to the oak door on the opposite side of the library and she followed his finger, her glare accusing the door of injustice. He could feel the obstinacy licking off her. “It’s sealed by magic, hence the key.”

“I will get it.” She said firmly, closing any objections. Then, as a side note, she glanced at him. “I know where to find him.” She left the library soon after, her quiet fire rekindled. He should not have been so excited, but he was eager to know what she would burn down on her path.

Yui was a complicated mess. He was never inclined to deny such a thing. She had a mask of indifference, of having nothing that she cared for, but he could see her underneath it. She loved cute things, she drew regularly, she had an addiction to fruit tea, she hummed when in the garden, when she was irritated, she would flap her hands behind her back. When she was in a good mood her fingers would tap against the table, when she was angry, she would pull at her eyebrows, and when she was bored she drew spirals in her notebook. She spent too long worrying about the safety of her human friends, was secretly extremely emotional, and talked in her sleep about wanting to become a professor solely to spite people that said she could not.

She said many things in her sleep, but more often than not that she was tired and, more than anything, would like to sleep.

She also said that she did not hate them. And for some reason he was incapable of letting that go. He did not know what to do with the information, but it ate away at him constantly. It chewed through his flesh and gnawed at his bones, a crawling sensation scurrying through his nerves as he tried to understand why the statement alone made him feel sick.

He would never admit it to be out of silent admiration. Or, more appropriately, out of guilt. That the guilt made him crueller in one moment, and kinder in another.

Yui was a complicated mess.

He was too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a while since I updated. A short chapter because it's 2am, but Kou is a nightmare to write I'm not going to lie on that. I have too much bleeding heart syndrome, and give everyone nice things syndrome, to understand the give and take world. Hopefully you enjoy this nonetheless.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yui gets extra support.

If there was tension in the air, I barely registered it. The house was not often quiet, arguing being a common theme, but I learned to turn off arguments a long time ago and when I felt it drifting too close to me I would slip out of the main living space and back into my room as though that would truly give me peace. It did, if only for the fact that my increased silence and decreased health led to some level of discomfort. Perhaps it was because it was no level of punishment, torment, or harsh lessons that led to the silence or the poor health, but the simple misfortune of a returning disease that I knew drove the more medically minded up the wall; those medically minded being mostly Ruki and Reiji.

If they were not horrible people, vampires I reminded myself, then I would have found their fluffed-up feathers hilarious, and their hovering bodies almost cute. I did not ease up, however, and did not let myself be coddled. That was for a different life that I was well beyond, and though my lungs had abandoned me for greener pastures, I had taken to abandoning my previous mental exhaustion and locking it away for another day. Something that only made them even more uncomfortable.

Perhaps because they were now aware of it.

Perhaps because they were aware of that exhaustion and saw that I was purposefully depriving them of it out of spite and nothing else.

I was and knew that it would only take me so far before I had another burn out worse than the last. I might never get up again, which was why I was pushing myself then to get as much done as possible. I just needed a single opportunity, one escape, and then I would be free for life. That was the reason they had joined up together, and with so many individual together that otherwise could not stand one another with the same appropriate level of arrogance, it was only a matter of time before somebody slipped up.

I could not wait for that time alone, but acknowledged it, nonetheless. That even if I could not skip straight to that moment, it would happen with or without me building to it, and I would have to be alert for that moment.

‘I hate long hauls.’

‘Oh hey, you are back.’ It was said so casually, but relief flooded through her and Cordelia undoubtedly felt it. ‘Where have you been?’

‘When you passed out something… interrupted our connection.’ She started. There was reluctance there, but also terrible exhaustion. ‘There was a black void and the sound of a beating heart, and then there was a voice I did not recognise.’

‘What did it say?’ I asked as I pretended to read my book. I was in the library at that moment and had taken several books off the shelves; I had already gone through three of them for any hint of information but knew I would only get what I was looking for by entering the locked area.

‘He knew you.’ My fingers twitched. ‘He told me that they were trying to reach you, but that a connection was needed on your side as well as theirs.’

An unexpected twist but not one that I was disapproving of. Whoever they were on the other side, connected to faded memories, they had experience with magic. I would be blessed to know such people.

‘They might take my soul; they might take all of this. I do not know.’

‘What happens when they take you? Do I go too? What if I die?’

‘I do not know.’ Mortality was always something that seemed to unsettle Cordelia, perhaps because of all that happened after she had been killed. She had been at least somewhat okay inhabiting the same body as me, but if I was gone what happened next? What would happen to her? These were the thoughts I felt drumming through her mind. ‘We all fall in the end. Even Karl Heinz has his time. We cannot escape that ending, we can only try and make it count.’

She fell quiet after that. It was not the stifling silence of her previous absence, but simply having nothing to say. I was glad to have her back, to have that familiar comfort at the back of my mind as I read. She had also provided useful information; that someone was trying to reach me on the other side and that a connection was needed.

I had an objective. I had a purpose again, and that was when I was at my most dangerous.

There was a hesitation in taking me outside the house. I had a wonderful talent for misbehaving whilst simultaneously doing nothing wrong when out in public, and it frustrated as much as it entertained. However, it was necessary I be taken out of the house and there was a solid debate of twenty minutes between Kou, Ruki, and Reiji on who would be my supervisor out in public. Whilst they argued, I had pulled on my boots and my coat. Although I had not regained all of my ailments, I had gathered enough of them that I was often cold and needed to wrap up as much as I did in my past life with me being excessively frustrated at the fact that my coat was not long or thick enough, that I had no gloves nor hat, and that I would look weaker still shivering as viciously as I did.

Kou was quickly out of the game for the fact that he was famous, and I would be noticed immediately. Ruki was thrown out of the round just as quickly. Reiji did not necessarily look smug, but he certainly looked very pleased.

“I’ll take her.”

A very not-Reiji voice cut in.

It was probably the first time I had actually heard Shu speak, or the first time I could recall, and the sheer shock of him speaking was enough that I faltered in my disinterest. It took me just as long to register that he had stood up, had walked over to me, and was pulling me away from the audience of equally surprised vampires.

“W-what the hell, that thing could speak!?” I heard Yuma shout as we walked out of the building.

The car ride was quiet because Shu slept through most of it, only being awake in the beginning and when the car ride had actually ended. It gave me time to rest my own eyes, although I would move every time, I feared I was on the brink of sleep. The fatigue, it seemed, had returned with a vicious vigour and I could feel Reiji screaming in my head already at me being a ‘lazy good for nothing’, which only made me smile brighter.

‘You never said what it was that you were diagnosed with in your past life.’

‘I never got properly diagnosed, last I recall. All I know is that I was always tired, always in pain, and sometimes I needed a cane.’

‘Sounds like your previous body was trying to take you out.’

‘God knew that if he did not hinder me, I would have beaten him at a fist fight at sixteen.’ She chuckled, and a dim smile appeared on my face as the city passed by. I missed my past life, but I did not much miss the body.

When the car came to a stop, Shu was fully awake with no effort on his part, which made me doubt he had slept at all. He opened the door for himself, a slight shift of the head telling me to follow him.

“I was never told what we were here for.” I talked to Shu. Only for the fact that he had not instigated any sort of trouble towards me, and also the fact that I was very much interested in knowing what was going on.

“You’re supposed to be seeing an actual doctor.”

“Instead of the sham doctor at the school?” He smirked at that. I wondered if he knew that sham doctor was his father. I anticipated the answer to be yes based on his response as he nodded his head yet again gesturing to a modern white building with large glass pane doors. “Utterly useless in a riot.” I found myself mumbling. If he had heard me, he had nothing to say on the matter as I trailed behind him.

Seeing Shu sleeping in a waiting room was by far one of the oddest and yet most natural things I had seen but seeing the Sakamaki family name on a register with my name on that list was odder still. I was seeing their family doctor, although I doubted that they actually saw her. Perhaps it was to give the illusion of humanity lest anyone try and expose them; reduce the damage and such like.

‘She is clearly not human, though.’ I found myself thinking as the doctor came in, and Cordelia scoffed in response.

‘Unfortunately I know that one. Smug bitch.’

‘Hello pot, meet kettle.’ I had long since acknowledged that there was no such thing as a natural hair colour in this world, but the woman was simply otherworldly in a way that set off all the alarm bells in my mind. Red eyes and dark, almost black, green hair that was far too curly and forcibly restrained with pins. I could have dismissed it if it were not for the unnatural sheen of the eyes. I glanced at Shu, but he was already asleep.

“Yui Komori?” She asked, but her eyes were already on me. I felt tired simply looking at her but nodded anyway.

Her name was, supposedly, Himiko Urasawa. I did not believe it to be her real name at all but called her Dr. Urasawa anyway and let her go through the procedures of a normal check-up. According to her, I was too small, too light, and my blood pressure was too low. When she checked my temperature, her frown deepened further still.

“It’s 35C.”

“That is good for me, but I am still slightly cold.”

“I’d imagine so, you should be suffering from hypothermia at that temperature.” I shrugged slightly. “Then again, human body temperature does vary. Still, that is uncomfortably low, I’ll make a note of it on your record.”

“You will find you will have to make a lot of notes on my record.” I said it with a kind of dark humour. “To lessen your work load, I suffer from Asthma as well, and have Autism. I have an undiagnosed condition that I have simply labelled ‘the gods have abandoned me’, where I am in constant exhaustion and constant pain. By that, I mean dull throbbing pain as a daily occurrence which will randomly jump to stabbing pain at unplanned moments. It is usually the joints, but I will get it on the back, the chest, the legs, the jaw, the neck, and honestly wherever my body feels like betraying me first.”

It was with a grim delight that I saw her struggling to write my splurge of information in one go. I had faced far too many doctors in my past life giving me all sorts of ailments and treatments, none of which worked, and saying that perhaps yoga would help amongst another list of things that simply did nothing for the pain. The only joy I would get out of those situations was in the doctor’s frustrations as I added to the list of ‘this does not work’ that was just as long as the list of symptoms. It was one of the few things I could do to express my own anger.

“And this pain hinders you in daily life?”

“If someone took a baseball bat to both of your knees and smashed the joints then demanded you go about your daily life without treatment or rest, it would be on the same level of pain.”

‘Might want to tone down the sass there, I think one of the boys is listening at the door.’

‘Of course they are.’

“I used to use a cane to help with the bad days, but circumstances have been difficult, and I have been ‘toughing it out’ for a while now, which is why I am less pleasant than usual. I apologise for taking it out on you.” I said it with a slight bow. It would do me no good to make an enemy of the doctor, especially when she was diagnosing me.

“That’s alright, Miss Komori. Although we will need more sessions to see what is causing this. I would even suggest an x-ray…” She was quiet, frowning slightly. “Until that moment, I can only suggest ibuprofen for the pain, and trying to stay warm and eat more regularly. I would definitely see about getting a cane again since you said it helped.”

Utterly useless. Just like the building, but she did give me a prescription for an inhaler which was not so useless and would probably save my life with how wicked my lungs had chosen to be. I was tempted to abandon Shu in the waiting room; it would certainly be an easy escape, but it would also be a false one. I doubted he was actually asleep and stood before him waiting for a response.

‘He will ignore you as long as you can.’

‘Good thing I am a public nuisance.’

“There is a condition called Exploding Head Syndrome that many people suffer from, and although it is not a literal exploding head it is something that occurs just as you are about to sleep when you suddenly hear a very loud noise, like an explosion, that startles you awake.” He chose to ignore me. “Would you like to experience that?”

He sighed and opened his eyes sluggishly. I blinked innocently.

“Oh, you are awake.”

“I just woke up.” I did not believe him but continued to stare as he visibly dragged himself upwards. A shambling corpse could move faster. “Where are we going next?”

“I need to get an inhaler from the pharmacist.” He blinked slowly. Once. Twice. Three times. “I also need a cane.”

He waited for me to elaborate but I did not. I was much more focused on getting him to actually move, and when he did, I felt that he would need a wheelchair just to get to the pharmacy. I knew he was doing it on purpose, but that did not make it any less annoying for me.

“Do you need anything from the pharmacy?” I asked him at one point since he had taken to one of the creaky blue chairs as I handed in my prescription. It would be a ten-minute wait before I would get my inhaler, and he was content to use those ten minutes to sleep, but I would take advantage of it to get myself supplies.

“No…” Was his response, and that was fine by me.

With the grim horror of all of my previous ailments coming back to haunt me, I searched through the shelves for my previous supplies. Multivitamins, ibuprofen, heat pads, sleeping aids, a cane. At one point I had slipped past the pharmaceutical section and bought myself some new clothes. A thicker, longer coat in plain grey, gloves with a soft lining, a thick hat with ear flaps, and some more socks. I knew it would only keep me warm outside and cursed my past self for having regular body temperature beforehand as I knew none of it would be warm enough for me now.

All throughout my hunt, Shu remained in the exact same place absent to the world. I expected him to rise from the dead any minute when my supplies were handed to me in a white bag. I even took the time to set up my cane and clack over to him, the clacks against the hard floor doing nothing to wake him. I nudged it against his foot and he finally opened his eyes.

“Nice nap?” He shrugged, taking a little less time to stand up then. “Do you need anything while we are here?”

“Somewhere quiet where I can sleep.”

“Café it is.”

I was surprised to see him order coffee. I would have thought he would go for hot chocolate if only because it would encourage him to finally enter that coma, he was determined to put himself into, and I told him such.

“There is no liquid in this mortal realm that could ever put me into the slumber I so desperately crave.” It was the longest, snarkiest thing he had ever said, and I immediately giggled.

“God, they could knock me dead and it still would not be enough for my damned soul.”

It was the closest I had come to having a kindred spirit with one of the brothers, and part of me wondered what would have happened if I had chosen him. I found myself wondering that with many of the brothers, my mind blurred on their routes where I had been so certain before. It was a different realm seeing it in reality and being aware of just how limited the choices were.

“Why do you need a cane?”

“Why did you come with me today?” A question for a question. A fair deal, I thought.

“Nobody wants to be around Reiji when they’re tired.” He said slowly. “Doesn’t matter what kind of tired.”

It was such a simply answer and told me a lot. I fiddled with the handle of the cane, the fingers of my other hand stroking the edges of my tea cup. I could lie. I knew this.

“If you are in fight-or-flight mode for too long your body burns itself out. It had been eleven years since I ran away, and I have not rested since.”

“That’s the opposite of me.” He scoffed, sipping his coffee. He was staring out the window watching nothing at all.

“I was always told to not stop when I was tired, but when I was done.”

“When do you think you’ll be done?” It was said with exhaustion. Was he asking the question to me at all, I wondered?

“I will start singing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I would give Shu some love while I was here, but this is mostly a filler chapter whilst Yui gets the actual physical help she needs as well as some more valuable information from the other side. As a person with the condition Yui has, I can relate way too much to the overall sassiness the pain bring out. Reiji would have had her head.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yui has to acknowledge Karl

There is a silence in the air as there so often is in the library, with only the flicking of pages filling the spaces in between the scratches of my pen on a notebook; very distinctly not my usual school notebooks for the fact that the front is covered in stickers from my outing with Shu Sakamaki. With him as my supervisor for that day, I had significantly more freedom than usual and took full advantage of it. I could hear the whispers of people outside of my situation telling me that I was wasting time by indulging in getting knick-knacks to brighten my space, but I had learned some time ago that it was the little pieces of joy that kept one going in difficult times.

And there was no possible way that I could resist getting a sticker that said: “Don’t Get Murdered.” Nonchalant disposition disregarded, I had to have some form of dark comedy when the tension continued to rise, and the observation of others continued to increase.

Even in the library in that exact moment I was not alone, although the other was just as inclined to maintain silence as me. It was the first time I had actually seen Reiji Sakamaki studying, and I was half certain that he was only pretending to study and that his brain just absorbed information like a sponge, worrying that if I looked up I would see his brain growing larger as the letters were soaked into his skin.

‘You have the most horrifying thoughts, sometimes.’

‘It is part of the reason why I was so good at writing horror.’

‘Nothing as horrifying as what your own mind creates, eh?’ I kept my smile hidden for he would spot it and immediately start criticising why I was smiling if not the exact diameter that was suited for an appropriate smile.

‘Your smile has to be at a width of exactly twelve and a half centimetres or it is too much, and you shall be a liar and a deceiver.’

“What are you smiling about?”

‘Complete failure on your part.’

“I remembered my ‘don’t get murdered’ sticker and was trying to not laugh.” I said in a plain tone as I turned the page, setting myself back to writing.

“You bought… stickers?”

“I almost bought a puppy but decided against it.”

“We would get rid of it.”

“I know.” The conversation ended there, and I continued to write. A few minutes passed by with neither of us speaking, just quietly writing and turning pages of books. “There were many companions I had on the road. Sometimes just animals, usually stray dogs abandoned by their owners or bored cats, but sometimes people. I had barely been around people, so I struggled to talk to them, but they did not seem to mind that I rarely spoke or spoke a lot in one go. People travelling along the same road are often in the same boat.”

“Why were they travelling?” I shrugged slightly.

“Some were looking for something. Many were running away from something. Always told those folks that it did not matter where they travelled, they always brought themselves with them. You cannot run from yourself. Those ones left quickly.”

“And why were you travelling?” I almost laughed. It would be common sense to conclude that I was running from his father, that I was running from them and I was caught. Why he would ask me the question at all was absurd and he likely knew it.

“I was looking for something.” I told him and could feel the question in his stare. “I never found it.” A vague noise that I could only describe as acknowledgement. I glanced up, briefly, to confirm that he was not looking at me. I wondered if it was an attempt at small talk. Perhaps he felt more awkward in the silence than me, perhaps I had been too quiet for too long and he was too used to my previous snarky remarks and was wanting them back. If anything, then to torment me into silence again so he could be smug about it.

“I have not known you to be quiet here.”

“Then I shall cease conversation, sir.” With my tone perfectly neutral, I was half tempted to look up again when I heard something snap. Which button had been pushed too many times, I wondered, when I felt my jaw being pulled up sharply?

I did not resist, knowing that it would only give him an inclination to cause me more pain, instead following his lift. Speed could not be denied with how quickly he had abandoned his seat on the opposite side of the table to stand next to me pinching my already sore chin.

“I was making an attempt at conversation with you, Miss Yui, there is no need to be impolite.” I had to bite the inside of my cheek, forcibly restraining the part of me that was always so desperate to push the boundaries and insult. The part that always got me in such trouble. The part that he had been looking for in order to pick apart.

“Understood, sir.” I did not give him the satisfaction of seeing my irritation, pulling on the front that only seemed to irritate him further. Anymore and I was certain he would have an aneurism in front of me; I could only be so lucky.

“I think we are beyond ‘sir’ and ‘madame’.” I allowed a moment of sass in the slight tilt of my head.

“We are not friends.” The twitch of his brow made me think that stung. “We do not know each other. We are, at most, residents of the same living space. It would be inappropriate to speak to you in an informal tone both for the fact that we are unfamiliar and for the fact that I am a temporary resident of your household. It would be as inconsiderate as being in close relations with my landlord, or my boss.”

“I am neither of those things.”

“No, sir, but you are close to both and I have no intentions of breaching that barrier; I can assure you I have learned my lesson from my episode and will do everything in my power to ensure that it does not happen again.”

For all intents and purposes, I was doing everything that he ought to have wanted. I was being formal, I was being careful, and I was making it clear that I knew of the power dynamic between us, and yet he was dissatisfied and I silently relished in that fact; that I was giving him everything that he thought he wanted, but was depriving him of the part that mattered. The parts where I cracked. It was a cruel thing, but he was crueller, and I knew that those cracks would only do me harm. I would not allow any more errors.

It was with that quiet conclusion that I knew I would have to rely on robotic responses in the truest sense. No more joking affirmatives or mock salutes; it did not matter how much they baffled. I could not allow bafflement or any sort of emotion, just disinterest.

‘Not too much, though.’ I had to remind myself. If I were too separate, there was a risk in how far they would push to get a reaction. There was an enormous chance that I would be drained of blood and left to die if I were devoid of any response. It was a nightmare trying to find a balance, but I would have to find it until I was certain I could take hold of my escape.

Monday was tomorrow, and it was then that I would hunt down Reinhart and get the keys. If I had to tell him flat out that he was Karl Heinz then I would; it were not as though he had been particularly subtle in his disguise and he was one of the few I cared very little about not insulting as if he needed me dead he would have done so anyway, and I had even less patience for his philosophy than everyone else.

“You shall call me Reiji as I call you Yui.” My thoughts drifted back to Reiji in front of me.

“The calling of first names is only suited for close friends or for lovers and we are neither, and I have no intentions of disrespecting you further. Mr Sakamaki is as far as I can go if sir is insulting.”

‘You tell yourself that you will not keep pushing but you do so every time.’

‘I want to remove this bizarre notion of getting along and the risk of being punished for calling him Reiji before it begins.’

‘As much as I enjoy you tearing into him and seeing him look like he’s on the brink of doing a Subaru and punching a wall, there are greater concerns right now.’

‘Such as?’

‘Heinz is at the door.’ With a violent twist he had not expected, I turned my full attention to the library door.

Karl Heinz was difficult to ignore on a good day. He was taller than everyone in the household and had a very distinct presence even when he was trying to hide himself; I should have noticed him sooner if I were not so focused on pushing Reiji’s limits for the sheer amount of power in the room.

I could only describe it as the taste of static on my tongue; a cold tingling sensation that made me feel distinctly less present than usual. It followed him everywhere to flow of hair that half floated, more a sheet of silk than hair that glowed slightly in any light source, to the gleam of eyes that no human could have for the film over them.

“Mr. Heinz.” I stated, my voice somehow even staler than it had ever been the disinterest stronger there than it had ever been. The bane of my existence, the near constant thorn and cause of most of my suffering dressed in pretty satin and silk. I wanted to strangle him, and I immediately separated myself from Reiji with cold eyes half focused on the smug man though he had no smirk on his face at that moment for the way I stalked towards him.

I stopped directly in front of him, and I must have looked ridiculously standing so close, looking up so high my neck almost groaned at the angle. Though he was not smug, he was certainly very pleased with how I looked.

“I would like the keys to the library, please.”

“Quite demanding for a meeting, dear.”

“The keys are the least you owe me after the sheer amount of destruction and misery you and your family has caused me.”

“I believe that you were noted to be dealing with the challenges of your new life remarkably well.” I actually laughed. Had I laughed before? It was difficult to remember.

“Do you mock me with your false statements? Every single ailment I had before has come back three-fold and I can say without a doubt that if your sons do not kill me I certainly shall and I will be certain to leave no trace for you to pick at my bones afterwards, and I can assure you I am very good at keeping promises.”

‘You-,’ Cordelia seemed to cut herself off, just as startled by the snap as I was. ‘You really need to decide whether you are going to stay neutral or aggressive because you just went against the most dangerous man in this house.’

‘He deserves to know he is a bastard.’

The weight in my hands felt heavier than usual, and with his seemingly blatant disregard of everything I had said he swept past me to acknowledge his second eldest. I would have torn at the blur of white hair as I focused my hateful stare on him, trailing towards Reiji who was half-stuck between horror and wonderment when he finally focused on his own father.

“You have quite the challenging pet to deal with. Please be patient with her; she is quite fragile now and needs a tender touch.” The king watched me the entire time. As though I were nothing but a dog, and to him I probably was. I probably was not even that, just a little project for his own twisted fantasy.

I should have let it go. I should have slipped away and locked myself in the room until I passed out from exhaustion.

I could not.

“Are you nothing but a thing that has lived for a terribly long time?”

Whatever snarls and bites he expected from my mouth, it was not that because he simply stared.

Stared without a response. I sickeningly knew that he was nothing but a beast that was wandering waiting to die. Karl Heinz was a thing that had lived for a terribly long time but had been dead for far longer.

“You will not get peace for as long as you have my hate.” It was with that that I escaped into the room in the back. And it was with that that I locked myself in.

“When you are done in there, we must talk.” Karl spoke on the other side of the door, but I did not answer. I did not care to answer; I would be dragged there one way or the other.

For however long I had my peace I would learn as much as I could. This room with its ancient domes, ancient for I could see the materials and see the wear, was my way out. I would claw my way to freedom if I had to, and that began with a single book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much happening this chapter as I have had to deal with my old laptop being fried and starting from scrap. Hopefully you enjoyed this anyway; things start to happen in the next chapter. And, as always, Yui will face consequences for cheek.


End file.
